A friend in me

25/03/2019

I look at myself and I look at all the bad choices I have made, all the things wrong I do all the time... Its like this cycle of oops I messed up again. Lets do this all over again. You know one step ahead to fall back five... Lately I seem to walking with a stride. "one foot in front of another," just take it "day by day." "Dont be so hard on yourself." These seem to be things everyone says. Yet they do not know the debts I have had to pay for all those bad choices all the wrong things I keep doing that have held me back.... THe things that when I look at in the mirror you can see in the bags under my eyes or my pale skin, the skin I hide under the make up that makes all those things look pretty you know the smile I bring to forefront that battles masks everything within. The beauty it carries from what Im told lights up the room but what is it that keeps it a light is the fire of my demons hidden deep in the depths of my within.... I powder my face I throw on my hair, I brush it once or twice.... Come on "Dont be so hard yourself." Life is a beautiful as your smile that comes to the forfront that battles all those demons that keeps that fire burning.... but today just today "dont be so hard yourself:"

24/03/2019

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THeLVhU53ow&start_radio=1&list=RDMMTHeLVhU53ow

My debut album 'I Cry When I Laugh' is OUT NOW! iTunes: http://smarturl.it/ICryWILaughiTunesX Spotify: http://smarturl.it/ICryWILaughSpotify For Internationa...

11/02/2019

ever just become so secluded that after awhile you have made yourself become so lonely that you dont even know where to ask for help and the sound of the word help becomes something that is so high pitched in your vocabulary from screaming it at the top of your lungs? It becomes silent to all those around you because they offered and you turned it away or ran away... Its like you've tied yourself to this chair for all those around you to look at and walk by as your screaming that silent word that nobody hears cause after awhile as with the silence of the word HELP you too have become faded into the darkness.... Almost invisible in a way.... You do all you can to get free to get yourself unstuck but after time those ropes become chains and as soon as you get yourself untied you have all the s**t chained to you dragging down.... blah the sound of the word help....

02/01/2019

this is what i wanted was to show you how to be when others arent around youm you get so distraught and lost you become so enclosed in your own mind you begin to think you should do something about it but then you dont know what to do you take the stuff you want and you dont think of me all you think about is you, you are so tired of this life yet you always come running back to me. why is the person i want to be with is always the person i dont want anyone to see the person that sits alone with his demons at night the person that wants to so badly be accepted just for himself. that person is the person that no one ever gets to see because that person hides behind everything he says that he will do the things that he promises me but when the day comes to an end hes the one who's still trying to figure out all for me. put it all behind me are the days of long ago but hey now what your here maybe i should be the one to go to run away from everyone and everyhing for once but when i do that its looked at as if i'm being inconsiderate towards others or as if im not suppose to be the one that suppose to be paying for everyone elses s**t yet here i am paying for all of it. im the one whos suppost to be helping him so he can let go and be himself but the person who is here isnt the person you want so when i go please dont say goodbye please dont say see you later cause when i leave i leave without any memory of the things i left behind, i left this all behind in hopes that one day you would see that i had everything and everything got me no where everything gave me heartache gave me pain everything i had was so full of everything but me. and now that its just me and i have nothing to offer nothing more to give no one is sitting next to me just my reflection of the days of old and the reflection of the world i want to create but now that im trying to recreate myself everyone wants something of me what if i go for a walk and we say hey you ya you can you do me a favor say that your going to come back and say that your going to be ok cause i just need to make sure that your going to be the same person that was always there for me not you not me but him the person in the mirror the one that does nothing but stare back at me wondering if we could maybe switch places for a little while cause my place isnt the best and i know you need some alone time so when i come in and say hey you thats when i know i dont know who you are anymore.... ill talk to you later ill see you tomorrow hopefully ill see you when your all better or when i can be the person you want me to be but for now im going to keep struggling to be me cause i need me to see all the things i was and all the things i wanted to try and achieve so that me can grow strong and fierce i love you and your always going to be the best person to show me that sometimes having it all can be the worlds greatest downfall and having nothing can be the worlds biggest lharest gift cause when i have nothing i dont even have me... thats when i know ill have a friend in you!

29/12/2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5sa2X7XJVo

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29/12/2018

Sooo.... I m a gay boy right, but who cares right? sometimes I don't like being a boy. It comes with all these expectations like I'm not allowed to have feeling Im not allowed to cry I have to be strong and be the one that can do all the heavy lifting... Sometimes being a boy weighs heavy on me so I dress like a girl. I dress like a girl to make myself feel pretty, cause sometimes all the things that come with being a boy are so ugly... But like they say pretty hurts right... I get it girls its so high maintenance putting on all that makeup, its hard to feminize a male face. I have to soften my features both physically and within my personality.... Is this why people see females as weak... Yet once my heels are on and my hair is done I feel empowerment I have never felt before. I feel confident like nothing can stand in my way. I like this feeling cause when I have that feeling as a boy I get called a jerk or things that make me look like someone Im not. Why is it the things that come with being a boy are things that we aren't supposed to feel or are looked down upon why is it being a girl comes with the same things but are viewed differently. Gender equality is something I strive for in life. It hurts seeing the pain we each carry on the inside... I just want you to know when you feel these things you've got a friend in me!