11/14/2019
"I'm not not a stranger to the dark. Hideaway they say, no one will love you as you are"
Would you believe me if I told you this was me? I would look at myself and just be so unhappy with who was looking back at me. After having Marlee, my body went through so many changes that I just couldn't understand. I was lost. It was hard to see women my age without kids, do what they want and eat what they want without a care. Meanwhile if I ate a burger I was the worst person in the world. So could you imagine how I felt after having two more kids?
"I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars. Run away they say, no one will love you as you are."
I wore bigger clothing to hide myself. I avoided having to go out, afraid of what people would think of me. Let's just say I was in a abusive relationship with MYSELF. I often turned to pictures ( shoulders up) for reassurance that I was beautiful. I met people along the way who helped me with my confidence but there was still something missing within myself.
" I won't let them break me down to dust. I know there's a place for us. For we are glorious. "
Last year I decided to finally break up with the old me and find someone new. Let me tell you, this is the best relationship I've had with myself since EVER. Being able to finally love ME for who I am. Knowing my worth. Seeing the QUEEN within has been the greatest reward. I have a daughter, I have to lead by example! I am here to tell you, that I've been there. I've been in the dark. Suicidal thoughts and all. Not wanting any part of life. Thinking things would be better off without me. Meanwhile I have people who love me for who I am. So why not amp that s**t up and be the person I'm meant to be!!! I can go on forever, but I just want to be real with you. Let you know that it's never the end no matter your situation. Have faith, stay positive, be kind and loving. Everything will always work out in your favor. Believe it, feel it and know that this world is better with you in it.
I love you β€
"I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I'm meant to be. THIS IS ME." β€
πΆ: This is me - The greatest showman