The Roaming Psychotherapist, 222 Main Street East (2025)

21/11/2025

Do it. Your future self will thank you, and so will your boss, your kids, your nervous system, and probably your dog. ❤️‍🩹

20/11/2025

Family roles.

We don't choose them. They choose us. I was reflecting on this yesterday, on the roles I've played in my family. The tough one. The steady presence. The calm in others storms. The one that never takes up too much space. The one in the background that tries hard to glue everyone together, smooth the edges, make sure everyone is fed, comfortable, emotionally held, and has a pillow... even if it means I'm sleeping in a truck.

Speaking of sleeping in trucks. Last summer in Sauble Beach. Our chaotic annual summer family vacay, the one where you blink and suddenly 20 people are sharing 400 square feet of space. I decided I was sleeping in the truck that week bc we were cramped like sardines in the trailer/cottage. One afternoon, Audrie looked at me with a knowing smile, and goes "Matante, you're so tough." I remember just blinking at her. She was so wise, so in tune. She saw me, had me all figured out. And f**k, it landed. It dawned on me then that somewhere in the middle of taking care of everyone else, I accidentally ended up bread crumbing myself for most of my existence. Fun times.

So if you're realizing that you've spent your whole damn life playing a role that no longer fits, it's okay to drop the act. The wildest part? When you step back and let go, you might realize that others are actually very capable, and that it was (probably) never your burden to carry at all. So sit back. Breathe. And consider loosening that death grip on control. Then you can finally start finding your way back to your True Self. ❤️‍🩹

19/11/2025

Just finished "The Beast in Me" on Netflix and holy s**t. I felt that one.

Something about a story that blurs the lines between good and evil that hits different. This series exposes the parts of us that we don't talk about enough. The part that wants justice when the world refuses to give it. The part that's tired of being understanding. The part that's done being the bigger person. As an IFS Therapist, I love this so much!

Vengeance doesn't always wear the face of a villain. Sometimes it's you, sitting with the ache of something terrible you endured and the fire of what you wish you could do about it. Sometimes the Beast in you isn't there to destroy everything but to help you survive, protect you and to say: No more, Never again, Not me.

My takeaway: There's no clean line between good and evil when you've survived something meant to break you. Wanting vengeance/payback/justice doesn't make you a villain, it makes you human. Acknowledging these protective parts of you, honoring them, that's where your power lies. 👹❤️‍🩹

18/11/2025

Nothing is handed to you in this life. I think (hope) my kids are finally starting to get that memo.

I’ve always been that if I want it, I’m gonna go get it type of person. No horseshoe up my ass, no waiting around for the universe to drop s**t in my lap. If younger me wanted something, younger me worked her ass off and made it happen.

So last night I’m talking to my kids about work. They want better jobs…more hours... but they're just sitting there manifesting it like it’s supposed to magically appear. And I’m like, jobs don’t just fall out of the sky and land in your lap. If there’s something you want in this life, you go make it happen. You can literally have anything, just rarely for free.

These moments feel huge. Because as parents we’re basically out here trying to raise decent tiny humans with actual work ethic, values, morals, and the ability to handle life without collapsing like a wet noodle every time adversity shows up. Some days it’s easier. Some days it’s like, "Cool. So everything I’ve ever taught you has evaporated into thin air.”

It's HARD watching your kids struggle, especially when you're the go getter, adversity eating, fine, I’ll do it myself type. But stepping back and letting them figure s**t out is part of it. Fingers crossed they learn the lessons without me having to age 20 years in the process.

I just hope my kids grow up knowing that I worked for everything I have, that I got knocked down more times than I can count, but I always got back up and made things happen. And I hope they take some of that with them as they grow up and continue on their journeys.

Parenting: the longest, wildest, most chaotic personal development course you never signed up for.

❤️ ❤️

17/11/2025

You don’t need a tropical vacay to regulate your nervous system, but it helps! 🌞🌴🍹

14/11/2025

I was driving Jas home last night and he suddenly started talking about Audrie, wondering why she’s not giving him more signs and I told him that she's likely very busy up there like she was down here. He smiled. I also smiled. I gave him space to reminisce and I just listened. We talked about death, about what hurts, about what helps. He told me he finds comfort knowing she died quickly and didn’t suffer. And he compared it to something far worse, and I could see him trying to make sense of the world with the tools he has. He knows the facts, but he still hangs on to the magic. After a while he looked at me and said “Do you think maybe she’s not really dead and she just ran away and she’ll come back?”

And my whole heart cracked wide open.

He’s 13. Old enough to understand death, but still young enough to hold onto that tiny, impossible hope that maybe the universe made a mistake. That maybe she’ll walk through the door again. And honestly? I get it.

This morning in our group chat I shared that it feels like this big hole inside my chest. Some mornings it hits so hard it’s like vertigo.. this sudden awareness of the empty space where someone used to be. That space that nothing, truly nothing, can ever fill. My mom said when it happens to her, she pauses, breathes, and sends love to Audrie. Not to fill the void, but to soften the edges of it. I love that so much.

So here’s my truth: grief doesn’t get easier. You never move on. You just keep going. You let the moment wash over you. You breathe. You send love. And the world keeps spinning, and you learn to spin with it. Grief in one hand, love in the other. Both true. Both yours.

💕

13/11/2025

110% The most uneducated comment ever said by anyone ever.

When bad s**t happens, most don`t jump straight into processing or healing. We freeze. We forget. We pretend it didn`t happen because doing anything else feels unbearable, like it might kill us. It can take a long while for our brains to come back online and start making sense of what actually happened. And for some, this never happens. Hence why so many never speak out at all. It's called self preservation.

That`s what people don`t get when they ask people who finally speak out why they didn`t do it sooner. Gonna state the obvious here: it's because their brains and bodies are literally unable to. That`s not weakness. It's survival.

After trauma, our bodies and brains do what it needs to keep us alive. Sometimes that means speaking out, other times it means shutting off, numbing out, disconnecting. And people`s ignorance around that? So harmful.

Trauma changes us. It shakes our internal sense of safety, our identity, our world view. The take home message here is that there's no right way to move through traumatic experiences. No roadmaps. Just survival. So please never apologize for not speaking out sooner. To anyone. Ever. And for those wondering why people don't speak out sooner? Your ignorance is half the reason.

12/11/2025

The snow finally showed up in our neck of the woods and my walk to work this morning was such an awesome vibe. Big, lazy snowflakes, crisp air, not too cold yet.

I know the real cold and the snowpocalypse are looming, but today, I’m soaking in this little in between. The fresh air, the quiet, the good parts before everything turns into a slushy mess.

I’ve been saying this a lot in Therapy lately: even when life feels like absolute chaos, look for the good. Build on that. The small moments. The snowflakes, the good coffee, the song that hits just right..

Because life’s messy. And it’s also beautiful. Theres space for both. The mess and the magic. The hard stuff and the small, steady good. Learn to notice the dualities. Find the glimmers in that pile of s**t. That's where your power lies. ✨

11/11/2025

❤️‍🩹

11/11/2025

Families.

They’re so complicated. They can be your greatest blessing or the reason your Therapist drives a fancy car.

I lucked out with mine. We’re far apart, life’s busy, but we still try hard to show up for each other. I made this family group chat recently and called it "FamJam". Nothing fancy, just a space where we can all drop random pictures (like this one of my dad trying to make friends with random creatures), inside jokes, or simple "hey, what's up” texts. And honestly? That connection means the world to me. Because even when life gets loud and chaotic, I know I’ve got people in my corner who have my back. No matter what. And that steady presence means the world to me.

Real talk tho: not everyone gets that version of family. Sometimes “blood is thicker than water” just means toxic is hereditary. And if that’s your story, it’s okay to build your own kind of support system. If family has ever been a source of pain instead of comfort, I see you. You’re allowed to build your own circle built on mutual respect, not obligation. Keep looking for your people. The real ones won’t make you question if you belong, no matter how badly you mess up or giant your mistakes.

Find your people. The ones who won’t flinch when you’re messy or moody or mid breakdown. The ones who’ll laugh with you, cry with you, and still show up the next day.

❤️‍🩹

10/11/2025

I put up our Christmas tree this weekend. I'm hoping it's a reminder for my kids that good things can still exist alongside the hard stuff.

I know it’s early. I know people have opinions about when it’s supposed to happen. But honestly, this year I don’t care. Sitting in the dark with the tree lit up tonight makes me feel weirdly peaceful... even if half the candy canes are already missing and my husband's making me watch Frankenstein. 🧌

So if it feels right for you, put the tree up. Or don’t if you hate Christmas because it comes with too much baggage. There's no one size fits all. I just know we all owe ourselves more moments that bring us peace. 🎄💖

The Roaming Psychotherapist

21/11/2025

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