Kathy Payne Therapy

09/24/2025

09/07/2025

Don't race ahead and try and fix it, don't give them lots of things to do or think, just stop. When we stop with our child we are putting aside everything else and just focusing on them. They feel like you are with them and that they aren't alone.

Online course Growing calm: Tools to ease anxiety and calm young minds

Or

More information in my book
Guidance from The Therapist Parent

Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

09/07/2025

09/07/2025

With a child-parent relationship, it’s not the child’s job to empathize with and support the parent. It’s the parent’s job to empathize with and support the child.

Just because it’s not our child’s “job” it will happen. There will come a time when they display empathy, if you have felt empathy for them.

Children who are empathized with, learn how to empathize.

When parents validate their child’s feelings and try not to change them, they grow-up feeling safe to express their thoughts and emotions.

Overtime, we model how to do this in ways that don’t hurt other people. Our children witness us giving them infinite grace and love and they learn they are worthy of unconditional self-love. They learn empathy, compassion, self-regulation and accountability by how we show up in our relationship with them.

Learn more about how to self-regulate and co-regulate in my latest book 📕 👇

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣⁣
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Link: https://amzn.to/44yVD6U

09/07/2025

**🌿 Understanding Our Kids: It’s Not About Choice 🌿**

Sometimes, we think our children are choosing to behave in challenging ways, but often, it’s not a choice at all. Kids don’t always have the skills to manage their big feelings, control impulses, or communicate their needs calmly. 💭

When they act out, it’s usually a signal that they're overwhelmed, frustrated, or simply lack the tools they need to cope. Gentle parenting recognizes that children aren't “choosing” to misbehave — they’re responding in the only ways they know how. 🧠💫

Instead of seeing these moments as defiance, we can view them as opportunities to teach and guide. By modeling patience and compassion, we help them build the skills they need to regulate their emotions and make better choices in the future.

So, the next time behavior feels challenging, let’s ask ourselves: “What does my child need to learn here?” rather than “Why are they acting like this?” 🤍

More information in my book
📖 Guidance from The Therapist Parent
Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

09/03/2025

We’re all a bit lost. You are not the only one. ♥️ ~ Nanea

09/03/2025

My Positive Outlooks