02/01/2026
Self-Care Sunday
One of the most helpful relational tools I share with clients is the feedback wheel.
It’s simple, but not easy, and it works best when we’re speaking from our wise adult self, not from overwhelm, anger, or hurt
The idea is to slow things down and name:
- what happened (as objectively as possible, almost like a video camera would have recorded it, without interpretation)
- the meaning we made of what happened
- how that meaning made us feel (naming an actual emotion)
- what we need or would like moving forward
A few gentle reminders if you try this:
This works best when you ask for permission to share feedback. Timing matters.
Try to use it when you feel relatively grounded; not perfect, just regulated enough to stay connected.
And after you’ve shared your need or request, practice letting go of the outcome.
This part can be hard.
We don’t get to control how someone responds or whether they change. That’s their work, if they choose it. Our work is being clear, honest, and respectful about our inner experience. That’s where our power and integrity live.
Clear doesn’t mean harsh.
Boundaried doesn’t mean unkind.
And speaking up can be an act of care, for yourself and the relationship.
I’d love to hear if you’ve tried it and how it’s worked for you! Wishing you a slow and restorative Sunday.