Soul Haven Counselling

02/06/2026

"Why don't they just leave?" It's a question people ask, but the answer involves understanding trauma bonding - a powerful psychological attachment that forms in abusive relationships.

Trauma bonding happens when cycles of abuse are mixed with moments of kindness, affection, or apologies. Your brain becomes attached to the person who hurts you because they're also sometimes the person who comforts you.

How it happens:
→ Intense highs and lows create a powerful emotional bond
→ Intermittent reinforcement (sometimes kind, sometimes cruel)
→ Isolation makes the abuser your primary source of connection
→ You become dependent on their approval and affection
→ The "good" moments feel incredibly meaningful after the abuse

Breaking a trauma bond takes time, support, and often professional help. If you've left and gone back, or if you're struggling to leave even though you want to, we're here to support you through that process.

24-Hour Crisis Line: (306) 693-6511 Text Line: (306) 631-0962

02/05/2026

Understanding mental illness: what it is NOT

01/30/2026

.trauma.educator

01/29/2026

5 Overdoses.

Test your drugs. Don't use alone. Carry naloxone.

01/27/2026

“Access to my energy is a privilege” is more than a catchy line, it’s a mental health boundary.

A lot of us were taught (directly or indirectly) that being “good” means being endlessly available: quick replies, emotional labor on demand, fixing everyone’s mood, saying yes even when our body is saying no. Over time, that turns into burnout… and then resentment… and then guilt for feeling resentful.

Your nervous system keeps receipts.
If something consistently leaves you anxious, depleted, or walking on eggshells, that’s data not a character flaw.

Boundaries aren’t punishments. They’re instructions.
They clarify what’s sustainable for you: how often, how long, and under what conditions you can show up with care. Whats ok and what is not ok?

People-pleasing is often a safety strategy.
If you learned that connection required performing, over-giving, or minimizing your needs, your “yes” might be fear in a friendly outfit.

Healthy relationships don’t require self-abandonment.
The right people won’t need you to be smaller, quieter, or constantly on-call to earn belonging.

A reflective check-in (save this):
-Do I feel more expanded or contracted after interacting with them?
-Am I choosing this, or am I defaulting to old wiring?
-What would it look like to protect my energy without closing my heart?

You don’t have to make a formal announcement to set a boundary. Sometimes it’s as simple as:
“I’m not available for that.”
“I can do this much.”
“I need more time to respond.”

Your energy is sacred. Not everyone gets access and that’s wisdom, not selfishness. 💗

01/16/2026

01/15/2026

As a psychologist in private practice, I also ran groups at a substance abuse center for men. Most of the men had been in and out of prison. It was there that I learned the dark stories and deep childhood trauma that caused them to spiral into crime and drug use.

Those stories shared that will stay with me for a long time.

Crime, addiction, assault, and the other harsh things we deal with as a collective society are not random. They are reflections of what people have witnessed, who their role models were, and the support and autonomy they were (or were not given.)

As a culture we are so focused on success and accomplishment. We focus on how things appear and ignore how they feel. We don’t speak about generational trauma cycles and the epigenetic weight our ancestors carried. We keep so many things in the dark, not realizing those dark secrets eventually become dark actions.

If we want a safe and secure society, we have to have the courage to face our unresolved trauma. We have to speak openly about toxic family systems. We have to have boundaries around things and difficult conversations that set the foundation for people to do the inner work.

The evil that we see in our world comes from wounds. Deep wounds. Wounds of inadequacy or envy. Woulds of shame or rejection. The problem is these wounds don’t show up in a blood test. They’re invisible to most people. No one can rescue you from them. They heal only when you commit to no longer living on the pain of autopilot. They heal when you recognize you were gifted with conscious choice and commit to new (small) choices, every day.

The CCD has called adverse childhood events (ACES) a major health risk. From heart disease, to chronic conditions, to substance use the science is clear. But there are also emotional risks that effect and infect our entire culture.

Once you see it, you can unsee it.

Break the cycles, end the “evil”

01/15/2026

These days matter, and I’m grateful I get to be the one they grow up with. 🤍

01/15/2026

Jen has added a few extra spots to her calendar for anyone needing a session.

Book online:
https://soulhavencounselling.janeapp.com/ #/staff_member/3

01/01/2026

✨ Happy New Year! ✨

As we step into 2026, we want to thank each of you for allowing us to be part of your journey towards healing and growth. This past year has shown us the strength of community, the courage of seeking support, and the power of taking steps toward a brighter future.

In this new year, we wish you peace, self-compassion, and the space to continue nurturing your well-being. Here’s to a year of hope, renewal, and meaningful connections. 🕊️

With gratitude,

Carissa, Cassie, Jen & Moravia ❤️

01/01/2026

Why Repair Matters More Than Perfection Every family makes mistakes.
That part is human.

What determines whether a family stays emotionally safe or slowly fractures isn’t perfection—it’s repair.

Repair means naming harm instead of minimizing it.
Taking accountability instead of defensiveness.
Apologizing without excuses. Not ignoring the harm.
And making things right, even when it’s uncomfortable.

When repair doesn’t happen, the wound doesn’t disappear.
It becomes the pattern—eroding trust, emotional safety, and connection over time.

Healthy families aren’t flawless.
They’re willing to repair.

01/01/2026

👇🏻🧨🎇🎆2026🧨🎇🎆💯🥂👇🏻
Happy New Year to the ones
carrying heavy hearts,
quietly holding themselves together,
surviving the year more than celebrating it.

Still standing.
Still trying.
Even when it’s hard.
Cheers 🥂