18/03/2025
A personal experience/practice of what "energy work" and "breath work" can look like sometimes. What a healing experience can feel like from one perspective.
Inspired by the teachings/meditations of Thich Nhat Hanh, and felt deeply by me.
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Sitting together with myself
Breathing in, I know that I have a body.
Breathing out, I Smile. 😊
I smile to my body. "Hello, Body! Thanks for keeping things running for me while I was away."
"I am Here now," I say out loud to my body, as I place a reassuring hand over my heart, and a hand on my stomach. I chose to show up today.
I feel my belly soften and expand. Deep inhale.
My body breathes out with a heavy sigh of relief, comfort, and joy upon feeling my Presence. I begin to relax.
I Notice...that I have not been home in quite some time...
My body and its layers are in disrepair. Neglect. It hurts.
I notice. I breathe.
I begin to shift and tighten again.
I feel a great discomfort and growing anxiousness as I sit with myself.
🌬 I continue to breathe and to notice, but...
My practice naturally comes to an end as I am whisked off to preparing dinner and planning tomorrow's schedule.
Later on that night in the quiet, while listening deeply... my body-mind whispers to my heart-ears...
"Sometimes I become afraid that you won't come down for a breath of air, that you won't stop treading the water in the clouds until you feel something solid. Something that makes you feel safe. Something that you can control. I become afraid that you'll never rest.
I become afraid that you won't remember that the solid ground you search for, can be me."
It takes me a painful moment.
I breathe in. I breathe out.
I then choose (or remember)
to rest my hand on my heart.
And to feel.
I feel the solid rise and fall of my own chest.
All along. I've been here. Solid. Patient as ever.
I feel a lumpy, surge of guilt rise in the back of my throat, and I choke.
Oh, the endless list of things my body does for me when I'm away! It's far too much to ask for!
And I have the audacity to complain about her or criticize her. Question her abilities.
I sit up and feel the grief rise up through my throat.
My body sits with me,
and comforts me with warm tears.
Release.
Remembrance.
I have been learning to sit with myself.
To face Her.
I to eye.
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LRB2025
