Healthy minds, Happy hearts

To Help Calm a Child Who is Showing Big EmotionsCREDIT Early Years- Where The Magic Begins
09/25/2023

To Help Calm a Child Who is Showing Big Emotions

CREDIT Early Years- Where The Magic Begins

07/21/2023

How can we listen to what kids say (or anyone we care about) and offer the kind of support that helps them grow to understand themselves better?

Emotional development requires safety and trust - that what you say won't create separation and distance in the relationship. We share our thoughts and feelings with those who invite and welcome us into existence - including our feelings.

Sometimes listening is more about what we don't say and how we accept, normalize, and make room for emotional expression in another person. When we judge or try to problem-solve or teach someone a lesson, instead of listening, we can shut down instead of inviting emotional expression.

03/30/2023

You are not your grades, your car, your house, or your job. You are not your IQ, your abilities, or your social media following. And your child isn’t, either.

03/30/2023

Kids are often blamed for being emotionally dysregulated and partly for good reason. While children's brains are developing they physically can't manage big emotions. But so often children are singled out for having emotional melt-downs when parents are completely losing control of their own emotions too. It's easy to blame the child as we as parents can feel justified in losing control because kids can be so frustrating. Lets face it, nobody can push your buttons like your child. The problem is, if we lose control of our emotions when our kids are out of control, then we set up a culture of dysregulation. Emotions feed off emotions, so if we are going to bring calm we need to learn to regulate ourselves.

More information on my blog

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/creating-a-self-regulated-family

01/17/2023

Identifying Children's Stress Load
"Stress is a sign, an invaluable signal saying, “I wonder what the stresses are? How many are going on here?” As we look for the stressors, the key is that sometimes you are looking for that one thing that makes a real difference, but most of the time, it’s a whole bunch of little things.
There are emotions that are triggered without our being aware of it. You could have a fear response without actually feeling afraid. It’s an emotion reaction deep within the limbic system. Neuroscientists look at the responses by measuring the autonomic nervous system, the rise in heart rate and breathing and changes in arousal, which by definition is an expenditure of energy."
Stuart Shanker

Parents and teachers who have read Shanker's book "Self Reg" say it made ALL the difference for them living and working with children.

01/17/2023

“When you felt bad as a kid, who did you speak to?
When the pain is there and there’s no one to share it with, the child has very limited resources to deal with that and what they do is disconnect from themselves. [...]
As a child we have two fundamental needs. One need that is with us in infancy, and it’s absolute, it’s not negotiable, is attachment. The other need is authenticity. Authenticity is connection to ourselves. [...] Authenticity is not some new age pseudo-spritual concept, it’s actually a survival necessity."
Gabor Maté

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