Ember Relationship Psychology

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Ember Relationship Psychology

Turn the embers of a distant and lonely relationship into a blazing, emotionally intimate connection.

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07/31/2025

Initiating important conversations with your partner can be tricky. Here are 3 gentle ways to open the dialogue:

"Hey, I want to have a chat, is now a good time?"

"I've been thinking about something I'd like to discuss with you. Do you have some time to talk today?"

"There's something on my mind that I'd love your input on. When would be a good moment for us to sit down together?"

Remember, the key is to:

Show respect for your partner's time and headspace

Indicate that you value their participation

Give them the option to choose a time that works for both of you

Which of these do you think would work best with your partner? Or do you have your own go-to conversation starter?

Want more communication tips?

Get my FREE GUIDE to Master 3 Communication Tools for a stronger, healthier relationship!
https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/master-3-communication-tools

This post is for informational purposes only.

07/30/2025

"We need to talk."

Four little words that can send anyone into a panic spiral. Why? Because they're practically never followed by something fun.

Think about it:

A pessimist might assume they're getting dumped

Someone prone to defensiveness will start suiting up in their metaphorical armor

An anxious person? They'll spend the time imagining the worst, most hellacious scenarios ever

But here's the thing: important conversations are, well, important! So how can we initiate them without setting off alarm bells?

Try this instead: "I'd love to chat with you about something when you have a moment. Is now a good time?"

This approach:

Doesn't sound ominous

Gives your partner a chance to prepare

Allows them to choose a good time

What's your go-to phrase for starting important conversations? Share below!

Get my FREE GUIDE to Master 3 Communication Tools for a stronger, healthier relationship! https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/master-3-communication-tools

This post is for informational purposes only.

07/29/2025

Common Mistakes: The Timing Trap

Sometimes couples really do need to talk. But for that, timing is everything.

A mistake I see a lot of people make? Assuming their partner is free to have a difficult conversation RIGHT NOW.

It's tempting, isn't it? You have an issue burning in your mind, and you just start sharing it, hoping your partner will respond well.

But here's the truth bomb: Your partner might be:

Stressed from work

Hungry

Distracted by other thoughts

Simply not in the right headspace

The result? A conversation that could've been productive turns into a mess of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

So, what's the solution?

Pause before you start

Ask if it's a good time to talk

Be willing to schedule the conversation for later if needed

Remember, a well-timed talk is worth the wait!

Get my FREE GUIDE to Master 3 Communication Tools for a stronger, healthier relationship!

https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/master-3-communication-tools

This post is for informational purposes only.

07/28/2025

The seven components of compatibility I’ve outlined can help you get a better sense of whether or not your relationship is likely to be successful.

How many can you check off?

Are you good friends?

Do you like each other? Do you show this through your words or actions?

How well do you manage conflict together?

Do you share similar beliefs and values?

Do you share similar goals for the future? It is okay if they aren't all the same, but do you have enough in common to build something together?

Do you show each other love in the way you each want to be loved?

Is there an intrinsic motivation or sense that you want to be with each other?

If you want specific tools to nourish your relationship that takes less than an hour a day, in this FREE guide.

If you are in a relationship and you want the steps to a long-lasting love, download the guide!

In the guide you will:

-Quickly learn the 6 small steps to take each week to increase connection.

-Uncover how to make your relationship better without having tooth-pulling conversations about what is wrong.

-Increase your chances of feeling loved, respected, seen and appreciated.

Just
✅ click the link (in bio) https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.ca/6SmallThingsThatSuccessfulandLovingCouplesDo

✅ download the guide
✅ and take small actions to get loving results

This post is for informational purposes.

07/25/2025

Do you agree?

Let me know in the comments.

Get my FREE GUIDE to Master 3 Communication Tools for a stronger, healthier relationship!

https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/master-3-communication-tools

This post is for informational purposes.

07/24/2025

Are you priming your relationship to grow together?

Shortly after marrying my first husband, I told my boss

“We are going to be together forever”.

This was a fairytale.

And if you’ve been following me, you know I’m divorced,

And madly in love with my 2nd husband.

I wanted a love that would grow together and last a lifetime…

… but I certainly didn’t do what it took to get it.

Today my husband and I set goals

As individuals,
And together.

We purposefully grow together, and find ways to support each other’s dreams.

In my first marriage, we never talked about goals…

… and it's not surprising we didn’t grow together.

If talking is a skill you and your partner need to work on, I have a simple couples communication exercise to help could practice connection through conversations.

The Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet

👍 Receive a simple template for conversations to increase connection between you and your partner.

✅ click the link https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet
✅ download the guide
✅ and have conversations that fuel connection.

This post is for informational purposes.

therapy

07/23/2025

Crack the Code to Emotional Intimacy

A Simple Couples Communication Exercise to Re-ignite Emotional Connection

👍 Receive a simple template for conversations to increase connection between you and your partner.

👍 Empower yourself and your partner with done-for-you questions to ask each other to deepen emotional communication.

👍 Discover how easy it is to feel close, connected and understood with a cheat sheet to guide your conversation.

Just
✅ click the link https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet
✅ download the guide
✅ and have conversations that fuel connection.

This post is for informational purposes.

07/22/2025

How to have deeper conversations with your partner.

I used to wish I could have an emotionally intimate connection with my partner.

I remember complaining:
We were connected in the beginning and now I can’t get through to him.

It’s like we are two islands and we can’t build a bridge between us.

-I didn’t get into a relationship to feel alone.

Then I learned about the power of open-ended questions.

By using questions, you deepen the conversation and allow for more sharing.

If you are unsure how to use questions,

Check out my FREE GUIDE:

The Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet

A Simple Couples Communication Exercise to Re-ignite Emotional Connection

👍 Receive a simple template for conversations to increase connection between you and your partner.

👍 Discover how easy it is to feel close, connected and understood with a cheat sheet to guide your conversation.

Just
✅ click the link https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet
✅ download the guide
✅ and have conversations that fuel connection.

This post is for informational purposes.

07/21/2025

What is one good thing you can focus on in your relationship this week?

Tell me in the comments.

For me, it will be how my partner tells me he loves me daily.

🎙Check out Relationship Psych: Tune in for the secrets of: creating emotional intimacy, bettering couples communication, quieting relationship conflict and keeping your partner engaged.

➡️Click the link https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/relationship-psych-the-podcast or search on your favorite podcast app.

This post is for informational purposes only.

therapy

07/18/2025

It can be hard to make small sacrifices for the shared gain of your relationship.

When you're struggling it can be helpful to remember why you chose your partner, and keep that in mind, even when you're upset.

People often get tunnel vision when they're fighting with their partner. It's important to zoom out and focus on the big picture sometimes and see how the bump fits in to the big picture.

Get my FREE GUIDE to Master 3 Communication Tools for a stronger, healthier relationship!

https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/master-3-communication-tools

This post is for informational purposes.

07/17/2025

In order to share our thoughts and feelings with our partners and have them stay engaged and talk without conflict, it helps to use all three mindset tips.

Firstly, remembering why you're in this in the first place, and being willing to focus on a shared goal.

The second is to tolerate different views and agree to disagree.

The third is to make repairs as soon as there's a misstep, so that it doesn't become a much bigger issue.

Get my FREE GUIDE to Master 3 Communication Tools for a stronger, healthier relationship! https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/master-3-communication-tools

This post is for informational purposes.

07/16/2025

If you want a more peaceful relationship you have to be tolerant of your partner’s views.

This can be irritating; you and your partner will naturally see things differently. They came from a different family with different beliefs, values, expectations, childhood, learnings. This is normal.

Hopefully the partner you chose has similar views about many things so that you can get along most of the time. But there's going to be disagreements and you may have to learn to tolerate or accept their view.

Try to just be curious about their opinions, seek to listen and not judge. When we get judgmental, we want to dig in our heels, point out how they're wrong, maybe persuade them to see things differently. And it's going to cause a fight.

John Gottman’s research found that only 31% of relationship problems are solvable. That means the rest are perpetual problems, simply because we're different. Choosing a relationship is choosing the problems you have to tolerate.

It's hard to do.

To have peace, we have to work on tolerating the things we don't always love hearing from our partners.

For how to practice listening and validating, even when you disagree, check out the FREE GUIDE, the Emotional Validation Cheat Sheet.

In the guide you will:
To help you get the skills to help you and your partner feel seen and heard, so your conversations feel like a warm balm for the soul...

I created the Emotional Validation Cheat Sheet

➡️ Get a list of 14 emotionally validating statements you can use with your partner today.

➡️ Discover simple ways to respond to your partner so your communication bridges the chasm between you.

➡️ Know what to say when your partner is upset, without making it worse.

to get it just

✅ click the link https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-validation-cheat-sheet
✅ download the guide
✅ and have conversations that fuel connection.

This post is for informational purposes.

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Toronto, ON

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+14165750347

Website

http://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/

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