02/11/2026
In the work I do, I’m noticing something lately. So many people are carrying daily doses of grief — aging parents, diagnoses, relationship shifts, world events, quiet disappointments no one else sees. It’s like the background hum of loss has gotten louder.
And in the middle of that, they’ll tell me about a moment of happiness. A good date. A promotion. A peaceful Sunday morning. And almost immediately, they minimize it. They feel guilty for feeling okay. Like joy is tone deaf in a hurting world.
What I keep coming back to with them is this: joy and grief are not opposites. They’re evidence of attachment. If you didn’t love deeply, you wouldn’t grieve. And if you weren’t still open, you wouldn’t feel joy.
Emotional maturity isn’t choosing the “right” feeling. It’s expanding your capacity to hold conflicting ones without shaming yourself. You can take life seriously and still let yourself feel what’s good. You can care about suffering and still laugh at dinner.
Numbing isn’t proof that you care more. Staying open is 🕊️✨🕯️