GoodTalk Therapy & Wellness

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11/24/2025

Saying yes to things that make my life feel bigger, not busier.

11/22/2025

We don’t need to choose one truth and reject the other.
 We don’t need to collapse into “all good” or “all bad”, “stay” or “go”, “right” or “wrong”.
 Holding ambivalence means letting the both/and exist without rushing to resolve it.

And when we do this?
 We open ourselves to deeper connection, more honesty, and possibilities we couldn’t see before.
 This is the foundation for real relational growth.

11/20/2025

Ambivalence gets a bad reputation.
 We assume that if we’re unsure, uncomfortable, or “in-between”, something must be broken.
 But ambivalence is part of being human.
 It’s part of loving people.
 It’s part of navigating real-life relationships that don’t fit into clean categories.
 Sitting in this discomfort is often where the biggest shifts happen.

Next post: how to actually hold ambivalence instead of trying to escape it.

11/19/2025

We crave clarity. We crave the answer that will finally make everything make sense.
 But relationships don’t work like math equations-there isn’t one tidy “right” choice.
 Often, what we’re facing isn’t a problem at all, but a paradox: two truths that feel like they don’t belong together… yet they do.

11/02/2025

We stay busy because it helps us cope. It keeps our minds occupied and our feelings at a distance. For a long time, that can work.

But as Dr. David McNutt shared at the Transform Trauma conference, there comes a point when our nervous system can’t keep running on overdrive. The strategies that once kept us afloat start to wear out.

When staying busy stops working, it’s not failure-it’s information. It’s your system saying it’s time to slow down and do things differently. To rest. To feel. To make space for what’s real.

10/31/2025

Psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Dan Siegel coined the phrase “name it to tame it.”

It’s simple but powerful: when you label an emotion- “I feel angry,” “I’m scared,” “I’m hurt”- your brain begins to calm. 
You shift from being in the emotion to observing it.
That small act activates the prefrontal cortex (reasoning and self-regulation) and helps integrate the emotional and thinking parts of the brain.

This is why slowing down to name what’s happening internally matters, not for the sake of being calm, but for staying connected and grounded when things get hard.

The takeaway: Naming what you feel helps your brain do what it’s built to do: regulate, connect, and move toward balance.

A Real-Life Example:
You’re in an argument with your partner. Your heart’s pounding, voice raised, everything feels like too much.
If you pause and say:
“I’m not mad. I’m scared you’re pulling away.”
That simple ‘naming’ shifts the brain’s state.
 You move from reaction → reflection. From defence → connection.

10/29/2025

One of the most powerful talks at Transform Trauma Oxford 2025 was by Bessel van der Kolk, the psychiatrist and researcher behind The Body Keeps the Score.

His work changed how we understand trauma: not as something that “happened in the past,” but as something the body continues to live with.

When someone’s been through trauma, their nervous system adapts for survival. It’s not “all in your head.” It’s in how your body breathes, how it scans for threat, how it shuts down when things feel unsafe- even if nothing’s actually happening right now.

10/23/2025

Trauma doesn’t disappear when we enter relationships-it changes how we give and receive love.

Esther Perel reminds us that the push-pull many of us feel in intimacy isn’t “neediness” or “avoidance.” It’s the nervous system trying to balance connection and protection.

Healing in love doesn’t mean never feeling afraid again. It means learning that safety and desire can coexist, that closeness doesn’t have to cost our autonomy.

10/13/2025

I took 12 days off to spend time in the UK-7 days in London with my cousin, and 5 days in Oxford at Oxford University for Europe’s largest mental health conference, Transform Trauma Oxford.

To say it was incredible doesn’t quite cover it. I got to hear from some of the people who’ve shaped so much of my work-Esther Perel, Gabor Mate, Bessel van der Kolk, Dan Siegel-all while walking through the historic buildings of Oxford University. It felt surreal in the best way.

One morning, waiting for Esther Perel to speak, I caught myself sitting there in awe. I actually paused and thought, wow… “good for you, Marianne”. And then right after, another thought slipped in: “at what point will it ever feel like enough?”

That drive is a big part of what keeps me moving forward-to grow and to stay curious but it also makes it hard to just stop and appreciate how far I’ve come.

Still learning to slow down and sit in the “enough”.

09/23/2025

Out of Office 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

09/01/2025

Love isn’t meant to feel like fireworks every day. Research shows that lasting relationships are less about constant passion and more about consistent actions-showing up, tuning in, and choosing connection over and over. Love is something we do, not just something we feel.

08/13/2025

PEI sunsets >

Address

Toronto, ON

Website

http://www.itsgoodtalk.com/

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