24/09/2025
Receiving unwanted and unexpected comments about your body can be harmful for someone who has an eating disorder or is in recovery. How you respond, and whether you do so at all, is entirely up to you - sometimes it's not worth engaging. If you do plan to respond, consider the "ice/spice/nice" strategy from the - depending on the situation and how you're feeling, you may want to be nice, or you may want to be a bit spicy. Take a look at some of our possible responses to common pieces of feedback you might hear at a gathering.
Image Descriptions:
Slide 1: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "How to navigate unsolicited comments with fatphobic friends & family" and below that, in a smaller orange font, "Post inspired by Amanda Martinez Beck & J Nicole Morgan; co-hosts of “The Fat & Faithful” Podcast". Bottom right corner, white NEDIC logo with "National Eating Disorder Information Centre" underneath.
Slide 2: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "Unsolicited Comment #1: “Wow, you look great! Have you lost weight?!”.
Slide 3: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "ways to respond" and below that, three options "Nice: It’s so good to see you too! I’m choosing to focus on things other than my weight."; Ice: Please don’t comment on my body, and don’t assume that thin = better."; and Spice "Nope, still fat! Let’s talk about something more interesting."
Slide 4: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "Unsolicited Comment #2: “*Someone makes a comment about something you put on your plate*”.
Slide 5: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "ways to respond" and below that, three options "Nice: *smile* Doesn’t it look
delicious?; Ice: *stare* Don’t be rude."; and Spice *raise an eyebrow* Why would you think my food choices are any of your business?
Slide 6: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "Unsolicited Comment #3: ““Oh, I can’t eat that... I’m trying to be good with my diet and avoid any bad foods.””.
Slide 7: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "ways to respond" and below that, three options "Nice: Food is morally neutral, not good or bad. And no one is good or bad for eating a certain way.?; Ice: Stop moralizing food. It’s harmful to talk about food as good/bad, and I won’t let you talk this way around me/my children.; and Spice Oh no, do you see a moldy bit?
Slide 8: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "Unsolicited Comment #4: ““You shouldn't wear that - it makes you look huge.””.
Slide 9: A dark blue background with wavy lines of pink, orange, and purple at the top right and bottom left corners. In the middle, in a bold orange font, the title "ways to respond" and below that, three options "Nice: This is what I felt like wearing today. ; Ice: I don’t appreciate being told what I should or shouldn’t wear.; and Spice You shouldn’t comment on a person’s clothing or body like that - it makes you look like a jerk.