Simone Moniz (2025)

26/08/2025

NO!!! You don’t need to share details about the trauma or your past. Trust that your therapist knows how to guide a trauma-sensitive approach to your therapeutic experience.

But also clients feel alone in their story AND feel the need to share to feel less overwhelmed. Therefore, it may be healing to share your story:

💚 If it is done willingly, not out of cohersion (“I should tell my therapist everything!”) or its not done from a people-pleasing perspective (“My therapist must know all the details of my trauma…even if I dysregulate!”)

💚If Safety is established within the therapeutic relationship. Meeting a helper doesn’t mean they need to get your most vulnerable side of your suffering. Also important for the client to truly understand the POWER of consent and FREEDOM to say “I need to stop sharing now..”. Clients may feel the history taking is incomplete, but when a client feels empowered to stop, that is the value of therapy!!!

💚If there is skill development, whether that looks like clients are aware of emotions, sensations in their body and are naming it “I’m noticing [sensation, belief etc]; “Here are my tears and sadness, which show up when thinking about this” or using other grounding resources.

It is that last piece of skill development, clients will grow with a trauma-informed therapist. With tskills within a safe therapeutic relationship, a client can slowly titrate their story to help heal, to find peace and ground in acceptance.

11/07/2025

It was such a privilege to attend trauma-informed ACT from in Vancouver, and a bonus to do it with my colleague .in.yeg

Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one of my favourite therapeutic frameworks. It models a flexible & client-centred approach, allowing the clinician to meet client with their most pressing symptoms.

With ACT, the trauma-sensitive approach is helping clients learn to:
🌟Be present, living in the here and now
🌟Open up and heal from the past
🌟Building the future and doing what matters for the life you want to lead

From an ACT perspective, suffering is due to inflexibility and avoidance. Your suffering may have you stuck, but certainly far from broken. You may need a different perspective to move towards your resilience and flourish in the life in the moment.

Side note: I show many of Dr. Harris’ Happiness Trap videos in session with my clients, so the last two days definitely felt like hanging out with a celebrity, lol!!!

07/07/2025

While Amazon Prime Days are nearing, I wanted to offer an anti-capitalistic reminder that your whole body deserves patience and reasonable expectations. There is no overnight delivery promise with the complexity of healing.

Changing habits and growing new ones takes time. You are ✨too magical and unique✨ to compare yourself to an automatic computer service. Or get swayed by a product’s quick fix guarantee. Have patience with yourself.

🤍🤍

04/07/2025

With the first summer long weekend in our rearview, it really feels like summer! June was such a busy month for many, from everything with school year ends to (out-of-town) sport tournaments, people were yearning for slowing down. What many people were reporting was a regret of overscheduling and overcommitting, consequently experiencing symptoms of burnout.

So now that we are in July, it’s time to TRY to choose differently. So maybe take this a reminder reset about slowing down. For the busy bees out there, taking a slow moment may feel like a waste of time…but maybe it’s okay (or even crucial) to waste some time.

Happy July and let’s slow down!!

27/06/2025

I work with so many skilled and wise clients, and after they share a bit of their update and process what was happening within a problem/conflict they were having with a loved one (partner, child, friend etc), they universally state to me they know what they needed to do but couldn’t. They share that in their jobs they are able to do these things with their colleagues, students etc. but why can’t they do it with it the person they love?

I respond back, “Well that’s love! Love makes things more personal, because you care, want better and fear things for the future with this person. Love does that. Love triggers that bias and then we can lose all common sense. You fight because of love.”

I even share that as a psychologist, the College of Alberta Psychologists (and many other healthcare licensing organization worldwide) strongly suggest not working with our loved ones. It is because we won’t be able to be neutral, unbiased and it creates a conflict of interest. I can’t treat my loved ones because I may unknowingly (or even knowingly, lol) impart my own interest into the treatment. That’s not okay in my role. I deeply care for my clients, but don’t love them. That is the difference.

But clients can learn to do things differently. It takes awareness of the hat of love you wear when being with your loved one AND the practice of communication skills, self-regulation, boundaries (and other stuff too) with someone neutral (like a therapist) to make a stronger connection to your innate wisdom and skills.

19/06/2025

Do you ever catch your multitasking? In the kitchen, cooking a meal, then emptying the dishwasher, rushing to switch the laundry, remembering to send a text, add to the grocery list, grab something from a different room, prompting a loved one to do something…then realized what you were cooking is now burning?!?

According to a popular stereotype, women are better at multitasking than men, but empirical evidence for gender differences in multitasking performance is mixed. Some research explored medium-to-large gender differences, their findings strongly suggest that there are no substantial gender differences in multitasking performance across different types of tasks. But because of this stereotype, many women claim that they are better at multitasking than the opposite s*x and therefore fall into this conditioning of needing to do more, fix more, keep busy, be responsible for more. Thus, in my example, burning something or even worse, burning out.

Understanding the hidden costs of multitasking may help people to choose strategies that boost their efficiency - above all, by avoiding multitasking, especially with complex tasks. Things like:
🙃Simple tasks, like talking on the phone while switching over the laundry, is probably accessible.
🙃Doing a couple of mid-simple things, but taking a mindful second and breath with the task switch.
🙃Breaking down the complex task into smaller tasks, focusing on more task at a time for an allotted period. Then switch to another complex task if need be.

Multitasking while completing a complex task, a pile of simple tasks or a couple of high risk tasks, like texting while driving, can have varied yet devastating consequences.

Who else habitually multitasks?🫣🙋🏽‍♀️

09/06/2025

World Infertility Awareness Month, observed in June, brings attention to the emotional, physical, and financial struggles of infertility. This post acknowledges the invisible emotional/mental load that comes in the fertility journey.

When working with couples in infertility, a common source of disconnection is an inequality of responsibility towards conception. Typically it is the birthing parent who is tracking ovulation, then peeing on the stick, with the non-birthing partner taking a less active role.

But it is the patriarchy that says reproduction/menstrual cycles are a female issue. But when partners mutual consent to trying for a baby, it really should have a more equitable approach towards conception to limit isolation and the overwhelming burden one partner feels over the other. This could look like:

👩🏼‍🤝‍👨🏾Non-birthing partners familiarize themselves with the process of trying to conceive, including female fertility and the stages in the cycle.

👩🏻‍🤝‍👩🏼Non-birthing partners were actively aware and engaged in their partners cycle, meeting their needs with predicting their cycles with important resources (menstrual products, chocolate, chips, ovulation sticks & pregnancy tests)

👨🏾‍🤝‍👨🏿Both partners are engaged with test taking, like pregnancy tests, so that the birthing partner is not alone with experiencing heavy feelings

👩🏻‍🤝‍👨🏼Both partners are researching for alternative measures/treatments and then booking their own respective follow-up to ensure their own individual health.

👩🏿‍🤝‍👩🏻Both partners attend important doctors appointments, taking an active commitment towards the process.

👨🏽‍🤝‍👨🏻Taking initiatives around check-ins and being open around communication is mutually agreed upon, especially during the waiting period to confirm conception.

These are just some ideas. But it’s about bridging the gap that fertility is not a female issue, but a team project. Ultimately, the hope with these suggestions is helping partners connect and navigate heavy uncertainty, mitigating the “I’m alone” in this journey.

26/05/2025

Time for some levity. My white pup loves the mud, there is no steering her away from it or coaxing her with redirection to get her away from diving into her mud puddles.

Enter radical acceptance, with a twist. Seeing a life value, in the dirty moment.

I could be goal driven, just take my dog for a walk, avoid all the puddles, focus on getting the walk done and dog exercised. But during this time, I could missing out on moments, potentially be stressed out by continuous surveying for puddles and then redirecting her away from her most favourite thing. An exercise in futile control😅

Or I could see a value at play, Adventure. I love adventure, it’s a huge value in my life! A value like adventure doesn’t require me to buy a plane ticket to somewhere exotic, or do something so out of the box which may require lots of my resources. A value like adventure could be found in my everyday. Some small ways are:

🤍Adventuring to the dog park with my white mud-loving dog and see how wild she’ll get!
🤍Adventures of trying something new, like a new cuisine or restaurant
🤍Adventuring in spontaneity, doing something last minute, whether last minute plans with friends or deciding to not follow a recipe and see how it turns out!
🤍Adventuring with my clients. Everyday, every client is different!!
🤍Adventures in reading a different genre of books I’m typically interested in…currently into Harry Potter, book 4!
🤍Adventuring in doing something different that I’ve wanted to do but haven’t (like go thrifting, art class, a new hobby, or sport)

…the list can be endless.

But when we bring value in our life, we tend to live our lives differently. It may become more meaningful, but most definitely, we become more flexible with our present moment.

What is an idea, small or big, around adventure that could be added to this list??

14/05/2025

When couples come to see me, I usually share that when we are fighting about a certain topic (ie: the dishes, the laundry, the mental load, golf, finances…), it rarely is about said topic.

When we are in conflict with the ones we love, the topic tends to represent something deeper than what is being presented on the surface. From an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy perspective, the avoidance of the deeper is what we call “attachment distress”, in which there is a pursuer and a withdrawer type. The combination of these two types can vary within a partnership depending on the topic, duration of attachment distress and individual partner capacity.

Attachment distress takes us away from deeper Attachment vulnerability which sounds like:

❤️‍🩹 I sometimes feel alone in my relationship, the other doesn’t see what I do for them (or the partnership, family.)
❤️‍🩹 When I try to step up, it never feels good enough for them. I fear disappointing them.
❤️‍🩹 When I share what is important to me, and they turn away, I feel abandoned by their lack of interest
❤️‍🩹When they share their hurt with me, I feel scared and powerless, I don’t know how to fix their pain.
❤️‍🩹This is a really important topic to me, and I’m scared they don’t care about it, maybe they don’t care about me?!?
❤️‍🩹 I’m so overwhelmed and feel invisible to them and hurt they don’t want to help.

When distress enters the relationship, partners aren’t able to express this vulnerability. The trap people get into is they express needs in a way to protect the vulnerability (“I need more help with the dishes”) which may not be clear enough to the partner (partner does the dishes for that meal/day). This need is technically met in the moment, but feels like bandaid, because it wasn’t legitimately understood of what is festering beneath it. The cycle continues because the pursuing needing-partner is going to protect even more the next time they go to express the need, and then the other partner withdraws more because they can’t do it right anyways, so why bother trying anymore.

If you struggle with getting this deep with your partner, it is okay to ask for help and look for EFCT therapist.

15/04/2025

Hi, I’m baaaack, after a couple of months away!

I recently heard this quote and really appreciated how this exemplifies much of human suffering: Trying to fit a mold to please others, leaving behind an unknowing of oneself.

So my first post back will be a simple reminder of finding clarity for oneself and our needs/worth, and not getting confused on what others think of us or who we “should be”. To worry to this extent is exhausting and most likely, somewhere, you will get a biased confirmation of not being good enough. Only because that confirmation is coming from someplace subjective, not objective, full of that person’s own history, values and beliefs.

But you are good and you are enough. It is finding the trust within yourself to believe that and to live life in a way that feels true to you.

14/02/2025

Hi folks,
Happy Fri-yah!

It is time…..Time to practice what I preach- recalibration self-care time! I am going to unplug from this account for the next couple of months. I love what this profile has allowed me to do: Connect, share resources, apply my own learning in posts I create and engage in some meaningful conversations. But as a professional caregiver, it is also important to model the value of boundaries to refocus on my own care and capacity. I have plans for rest and some learning, which I look forward to sharing with you in the future.

If you would like to reach out to me, please know that my email is the best way to connect. I will be away from my email until mid-March, but will respond when I am back. Contact info in my bio.

If you were considering starting your therapeutic journey and wanting to start your therapeutic journey sooner rather than later, I truly honour that and I have a wonderful team of colleagues that would be supportive in your journey. Please reach out to my clinic ( ) and our wonderful admin team could assist you with finding someone on my team. I truly work with the best!

I hope to be back on here sometime in April! Till then, be gentle and be well.

✌🏽Simone

23/01/2025

With working in postpartum, Mom Guilt plagues and traps many of my clients. When mamas feel this, they tend to feel frozen or uncertain of what to do, consequently sacrificing themselves or not zooming out to see their child’s developmental needs and appropriate discipline.

The emotion of guilt is “I’m a good person doing something bad”. Most times, mamas aren’t doing anything bad, but are feeling torn due to people-pleasing, peacekeeping tendencies or patriarchal overfunctioning gender norms that tell them they are doing something bad. But on some instances, when we step away from our values, guilt is an appropriate response.

Please swipe to learn more about how to manage different types of mom guilt from a Dialectical Behavioural Therapy perspective.

**For the purpose of this post, the colloquial “Mom Guilt” was used. But it is important to highlight an inclusive perspective, therefore it is not only moms that experience this guilt, but birthing parents, primary caregivers and active parents can experience this too. Mom guilt isn’t really only about moms. It’s about broken social structures inadequately supporting ALL caregivers, children and families**

Simone Moniz