Shorty's Hidden Treasures

08/12/2024

But that's fine cause your a prick

🧿✨😂

08/12/2024

Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse, Shattering the Illusion is available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-Emotional-Abuse-Shattering-Illusion/dp/1979532834/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1531479933&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=narcissistic+and+emotional+abuse+shattering+the+illusion&dpPl=1&dpID=41k03zC3WYL&ref=

08/12/2024

mcnutt

27/08/2024

You don't say..mm

PROBABLY THE HARDEST THING ABOUT RECOVERY, EMOTIONALLY, IS THE TRAUMA BOND. JUST READ THIS:
WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO HAVE A TRAUMA BOND AND HOW I DISCOVERED THE TRUTH…..by a member of our private group, Recovering From a Relationship With a Narcissist-the Group:
I couldn't breathe. The sobs came from some deep dark place within me. I heard myself wailing, a sound I had heard before only from those traumatized by death.
He stood there above me, at the top of the stairs, arms folded, a cruel smirk flitting across his face.
The realization dawned. He was enjoying this. My pain was a game to him. And I ran.
We'd been married 15 years when I left. He had finally toppled me over the edge. I was crazy, just as he said. I was not a nice person. He didn't want me. I was 60. No-one would ever want me.
So I left. And my world crashed down around me. At the time, I likened it to throwing my life into the air, to see where the pieces would fall. They fell alright, and I fell with them. I couldn't cope with the simplest tasks of daily life. I couldn't even manage money. He'd always controlled that, as he did everything else.
For months he toyed with the idea of us getting back together, only to say he didn't want me after all. Time and again, the hopes came and were dashed. With each rejection I yearned for him more.
I learned he was toying with his new supply in exactly the same way, the new supply that was already in his life, and his bed, before that terrible day when my world came to an end.
My eyes leaked continuously. How could love be so addictive, so dependent, so traumatic? I read obsessively. I learned for the first time that for all those years when I had sought only love, I had been abused and controlled for his gratification, that evil people don't just exist in fairy tales.
One book mentioned Stockholm Syndrome, where hostages bond with their captors. Knowing a little about captive hostage Patty Hearst, I didn't see the relevance but it piqued my interest and I read on. Suddenly there I was, leaping out of the page before my very eyes. At last I had a name for the living hell I had been going through. Trauma bonding.
I felt a surge of relief. I wasn't crazy! It was a watershed moment. It opened the door to a level of anger I had never experienced, cathartic, healthy, healing anger. I went on to learn a lot more about PTSD, C-PTSD , triangulation, and all the other by-products of an abusive relationship. But learning about the trauma bond brought one stark realization……..
REAL LOVE SHOULD NOT HURT!
What I had thought was love was not. It was injury, trauma. Slowly I started to heal. If this is you, here's the information that may set you free...
(if you want to become a member of our group, don't forget to answer the membership questions) Link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/191053664971647

27/08/2024

Fu***ng people... And I see it from a mile away.... So why bother....

Intro
THIS A PUBLIC PAGE that survivors can come to get info on Narcissistic & Emotional Abuse.

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens · orspotdenS 2lt182g935806au31ga5i2i7 a12gu1A,a352slf0fht4ui01 ·
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Tiffany Nicholson
Well yeah, I like to see just how far they will go while intently listening

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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Meme via Carly's Life After Abuse...
Mintha Botes
How I love this! Brilliant❣😁😁😁

51w
51 weeks ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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Lyndi Sikes
Many people call funerals a Celebration of Life - I'm celebrating my life free of being disrespected & ignored.

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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NARCISSISTS ARE COLD, CALLOUSED, INDIFFERENT, AND SADISTIC... I loved a narcissist. They gave me PTSD. Narcs are incapable of love. They know the words but not the tune.

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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I SAID TO MY NarcX, "WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS HURTING THE KIDS". The NarcX replied, "You're making me hurt them because you're not giving me everything I want in the divorce". In other words, NarcX was telling me they were INTENTIONALLY doing things to hurt the kids to punish me, knowing that I would do anything to protect them.
Narcs are sadistic and manipulative. They use the kids to control YOU, and don't care if it hurts the kids. Narcs are thieves of childhood joy.
Nancy Howard Dewar
Truth

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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IF ONLY IT WORKED THAT WAY....but it doesn't work that way. Telling someone to "just get over it", to "move on", or "don't be so sad", not only doesn't help, when we can't do what they tell us to do it turns into victim-blaming. As if our anxiety and depression were our fault and we could just "snap out of it".
I believe in being positive. Being upbeat has its benefits. However, when people over-generalize or believe that telling someone who has been severely traumatized… See more
Angela Miller
Today is my ex's birthday. For context, we broke up five years ago, but unfortunately still live together.
We live in an apartment complex, and annual inspections are in two days. He came in the room that I shared with our daughter early this morning… See more

52w
52 weeks ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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DID YOU "CATCH FLEAS" FROM THE NARCISSIST....there is a saying that when you lay down with a dog, you catch fleas, and to the dismay of survivors, they may find themselves reacting in ways they've never acted before when with a narcissist.
The narcissist drives you crazy, the calls you crazy when you react to their abuse with anger, lashing out, insults, and the like. However, this is a normal reaction to a horrible situation. The name for this is "reactive abuse", but sur… See more
Claire Fowler
💯👍

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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OUR ADMIN NOTES (HE OR SHE): "My NX would belittle and diminish my achievements and accomplishments any chance he got. He'd be like, "Oh anyone can do that." or "Don't you have anything better to do than to waste your time on that?"
A few years back, I made specific crafts for my children. He mocked that too, of course. Didn't bother me at all, because I knew it was just his way of mocking what he knew he couldn't do. He would never have the patience for crafting anyway!"
Erin Anderson
So Very True. And Jealous Of Anything One.

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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A BAD ADVISOR WILL MAKE YOU FEEL...
Bad about yourself, unsafe, unheard, to blame for the abuse, not understand narcissistic relationships, and takes the "it takes two to tango" view.
They make you feel worse after seeing them and confused. You have this deep-down feeling that they "don't get it". Or, that they are allies of the narc, aka, a flying monkey. It's better, if possible, to find a therapist who is also a survivor.
Zari Ballad, therapist, survivor, and writer on NarcAbuse says: "Even the victim knows that unless a person has truly experienced a relationship with a narcissist, they’re simply never going to “get it”.
Dr. Annie Kaszina, survivor and therapists says: "Healing is already hard. Healing when you have to expose your wounds to crass, unsupportive or judgmental people it is even harder.
"Given my own early experiences with some well-regarded therapists who couldn’t spot a narcissist when he was sitting in front of them triangulating his own wife (me), I would also add to the list, “doesn’t show empathy” and “doesn’t seem to like you” to that list.
"Healing from any kind of abuse is all about working with someone who not only understands but cares - and accepts that you are a participating expert in your own healing process.
"Thankfully, you are no longer limited by geographical location. Find the therapist who “gets” YOU, sees you, and is prepared to walk beside you, supportively, along your healing journey."
Be very careful about so-called "certified coaches". I've found that you can get "certified", if you can call it that, by just paying some money and watching a few videos. Many of these coaches charge as much as an experienced therapist/survivor but without the understanding or experience. They have often paid for the "package", which includes a website that LOOKS professional, despite their having no experience. And, remember, there is no such thing as a "self-aware narcissist". That's a scam.
Zari Ballard gives this insight and warning: "How can we subscribe to any style of therapy that appears to subscribe to the narcissist’s agenda? I can’t and I won’t and neither should you. Therapy is awesome as long as you know that the therapist knows about these types of personality disorders. From what I’m told by people who’ve tried, therapists and psychologists either “get it” or they don’t so pay attention. There’s can be no in-between."
We have a private and confidential group as well, called “Freedom From Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse-the group” where you can get support from other survivors. If you want to join, just BE SURE TO ANSWER THE MEMBERSHIP QUESTIONS AND AGREE TO THE RULES, a **must** to get accepted. Link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/191053664971647
Leslie Wolf
Luckily, no - but I would think that walking away would be easier than with flying monkey family members. Stay strong.

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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THE COVERTNESS OF THE ABUSE...our admin explains: I didn't realize I was being psychologically abused for the entire length of my relationship with the NX.
All I knew was something didn't feel right. It didn't feel good to be put down, mocked, etc. But I didn't know at the time that that was abuse.
It wasn't until after the "final discard" that the fog began to lift and I began to have clarity to what I endured. When I learned that there were names to things that I endured, I began to cry because someone else out there dealt with it too. I finally felt validated and realized I wasn't crazy!
Mary Lee Miller
And unfortunately it worked.🥹Now I’m a survivor. I, too, didn’t realize it was abuse. I talked to my therapist and she said it’s his way of protecting himself. BS. In all fairness when he went to counseling with me he told her what he wanted her to h… See more

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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NARCISSISTS WILL AWAYS DISAPPOINT YOU...because you have a kind heart, but the narc doesn't have the same heart. The narc has no "heart" at all, and will always make it a one-sided relationship. You're a giver. Narcs are takers.
You give them love, they give you abuse.
You give them kindness, they give you coldness and indifference.
You support them, and they devalue you.
You give them respect, they make you feel like sh*t.
You build, they destroy.
You're loyal, they're betray you.
You try to make them feel better, they're merciless and cruel.
And so much more. What did you give and what did you get in return?
We have a private and confidential group as well, called “Freedom From Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse-the group” where you can get support from other survivors. If you want to join, just BE SURE TO ANSWER THE MEMBERSHIP QUESTIONS AND AGREE TO THE RULES, a **must** to get accepted. Link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/191053664971647
Stefan Criswell
Since boundaries were mentioned, here's something messed up- my abuser used "boundaries" as a pretext to isolate me and keep me quiet. He said that me reaching out to others for help was a violation of their boundaries, and I needed to keep my traumas … See more

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
·
THE NARCISSIST WILL ALWAYS CHEAT, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, AND IT’S NOT YOU… All narcs have this in common: they use people like an object, for their own benefit, and, well, you don't empathize with an object, do you? They don't recognize any importance to your feelings (except as they inconvenience themselves, or if you are a pain in the *ss). Narcissists will use you for their own pleasure and gratification, and discard you without guilt.
They are after whatever makes them feel good NOW, not what's good or right. It's their own immediate gratification that's the gold standard for them, and that's your purpose in life as far as they are concerned, so that's why they ruin lives, and why their values are never in line with yours, though they will con you into believing otherwise if they can. To a narc, there is no moral issue when they cheat with a pr******te. It has the same moral content to a narc as buying a candy bar.
Narcissists have a sense of being special. Your purpose is to be a source of narcissistic supply and narcs never get enough no matter what you do. You are a giver, and the narc is a taker. A narcissist is an emotional vampire who desperately needs to drain others to get admiration and attention.
Remember, the word “loyalty” is a NarcSpeak for never holding the narc accountable for their behavior, however wrong.
Since narcs are emotional vampires, like vampires, they are hunters, always seeking who they can exploit and use, without any feelings of remorse, or any sense of ethics. So, cheating is like a vampire feeding, but feeding the narc’s ego. Narcs:
**They are liars and manipulators, both to their spouse or partner, and to an affair partner. It's not unusual for them to have the view, They may act married or committed only when they are at home, and single when they are out and about. They may refer to their spouse as “the mother/father of my children”, and have stories about being split up from their ex but needing to live in the same house, but not sleeping with their wife. This is quite common.
**Have developed skills to evade detection, and some take extraordinary measures to avoid being caught. Nevertheless, they often do.
**If they are confronted with evidence or suspicion of cheating, whether obvious or circumstantial, they attack the person, expressing outrage, or calling the person crazy or paranoid, putting you on the defensive and never actually dealing with the problem....or they give very unsatisfactory answers that don't really work, but they demand that they be accepted with strong anger as a penalty if you don't.
Another thing….narcissistic cheaters have an amazing level of rationalization. Rationalization means mentally taking something you know is wrong or off base, and re-characterizing (reframing) it in a way that makes it seem much more acceptable, or even virtuous. Example: the narc may claim that cheating is good for their marriage.
Narcissists cheat because they can...they take what they want because they want it, and there is no moral issue involved as far as they are concerned. Since the narc recognizes no rules, there can be no violation and no wrong....the rules don't apply to them, and narcs are indifferent to the damage they do to innocent people.
To a narc, cheating is like a game where they maneuver another person into giving them what they want, though they may do everything to make you think otherwise....they are consummate con artists. Cheating feeds the narcissist’s ego….“Hey, I've still got it, I'm so hot. I'm irresistible.”
All narcs have many things in common, but the thing that's most important is that they all wreak havoc and destruction on the lives of the innocent, and the only way to deal with them once you have discovered that they are this way is to get far, far away from them.....NO CONTACT, immediately and totally. Or, if you have kids with the narc, go to "minimal contact" via email, or use Our Family Wizard and get a court order requiring it's use. This shuts down most of the post-separation NarcAbuse.
One thing that may cause you to break “no contact” is wanting closure. When it becomes obvious to the victim that they were told lie after lie, including the lie that they would have a life together with the narcissist, and when they realize that the narc was cheating all along while professing love for them, they naturally want the narc to face the facts and admit the truth, which the narc will never do unless it’s to hurt you more.
It doesn't matter how many facts and how obvious the truth is, the narc will deny you this closure.
We have a private and confidential group as well, called “Freedom From Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse-the group” where you can get support from other survivors. If you want to join, just BE SURE TO ANSWER THE MEMBERSHIP QUESTIONS AND AGREE TO THE RULES, a **must** to get accepted. Link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/191053664971647
Patricia McLaughlin-Kelsey
Oh my, that was her favorite personal development, she did this to make me a better person.

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
·
POWER AND CONTROL....BEG ME TO TALK TO YOU....the narc is saying, "eat sh*t and say you were wrong, then maybe I'll come down off my throne and let you kiss my ring. Of course, then I'll lose all respect for you and realize you have no boundaries, so I can abuse and manipulate you more. But I WILL talk to your friends and family and tell them you're impossible to deal with, that you need mental help, and that they're worried about your substance abuse even though it's totally made up."
This is the person you're with. Had enough yet?
Derek Barlow
….Every…. single…. time.

51w
51 weeks ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
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Link to Phoenix Rising-Still I Rise...
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1712819162211673/

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
·
MONOPOLIZING THE CONVERSATION IS A NarcTACTIC... so, you start into a reasoned discussion, trying to make points, and you get constantly interrupted, so you can't make a point....in fact, you might have trouble getting a word in edgewise.
YACK YACK YACK...here's the deal...the narcissist doesn't care what you think and doesn't want to hear it, so interrupting lets them talk, and shuts you up, and proves their dominance and control of you. It's a simple tactic for them to “win”, and you to lose. Meanwhile, you're thinking S**U.
Angela Brown
Or when someone visits and they can’t get a word in or even finish a sentence. It’s so awkward and you feel bad for the person visiting and embarrassed for the narc. They’re certainly not embarrassed or ashamed of anything they do or say.
Then they w… See more

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
·
SUDDENLY, YOU REALIZE THERE IS A NAME FOR WHAT YOU'VE EXPERIENCED....NARCISSISTIC ABUSE. And, when you're out of it, the narc will try to "suck you back in". The name for that is "hoovering", named after the vacuum.
The narc will use bait...something you want. Closure. Expressing concern. A fake apology. Faking being sick. Faking harming themselves. Fake promises of change or remorse. Remember, the narc is a con artist, and hoovering is yet another scam.
The object… See more
Grace Scicluna
good luck !

1y
a year ago

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Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse - The Public Page
Published by Larry Giddens ·
·
YOU GRADUALLY REALIZE HOW MANY TIMES AND WAYS YOU WERE BEING GASLIGHTED... The gaslighting tactic is particularly destructive since its point is to make you doubt your own mind and memory, destroy your self-confidence, and make you feel you've lost your mental and emotional balance.
The narcissist may insist that you don't remember something that, in fact, never happened, or may say they never said that, or never did that, and that you're making things up. They may claim you said and did things that you never said or did. The narc may hide things, and when you can't find them, he puts them where you already looked and then, they “discover” it.
The goal was to ensure that you trusted THEIR word and THEIR reality above that of yourself and anyone else. They want you to doubt yourself, question yourself, and deny what you know to be true. This is ONLY POSSIBLE if they break down OUR self-esteem and our grasp of reality...if they make us question our very sanity! It is an evil game, played by evil beings who do not care who they hurt.
Remember, the most important step to make gaslighting work...is to convince you that they are NOT gaslighting you. Once you realize that they're playing mind f*ck games, you see the truth. Then, the narc will get angry, deny it, attack you, and all the other narc deflection games. Fu*k them. You own it, a**hole.