13/11/2024
Iāve never been great at asking for help..
A fault of my hyper independence - anytime people would offer to help I would say the same thing. āItās okay!ā, ādonāt worry about it.ā āIām totally fineā. āNo no donāt be sillyā
And sometimes those were true. But other times they werenāt. I simply did not know how to let my guard down and allow people in.
Obviously a protective defence I developed having grown up and matured much too young. I needed to continue to prove to myself and maybe others that I could do it all on my own. I needed that sense of control.
But letās face it. Even if I could do it all, it doesnāt mean I should.
And Ianās recent surgery showed me that.
When a friend suggested a meal train, donations, and even the Halloween event for Ian, I originally said no. Not because I didnāt think they were great ideas. In fact they were very thoughtful and kind ideas. I originally said no because I didnāt want to bother people. I didnāt want to be a burden and I didnāt think I was worthy of such gestures.
Itās only been until now that Iāve been able to let go more and more and allow myself to accept and appreciate the help offered by the people around me.
And Iām so glad that I did because all the thoughtful acts and words of encouragement are absolutely part of how Iāve been able to show up and be supportive for Ian. Trying to have done this alone would not have served him or myself any good.
So to my dear friends for pushing me, and to each and every one of you for messaging, donating, reaching out and supporting me and my family, thank you.
Wholeheartedly, thank you š«¶
