29/01/2025
How we do “lamay” or wakes here in Canada is one very important question that many families I help in their prearrangements ask. The striking differences may be influenced by time constraints, budget and the socio-cultural environment. Here are three major differences in the practice of wakes in the Philippines and Canada.
1. Duration of the Wake:
o Philippines: Wakes in the Philippines typically last for several days, often up to a week. This extended period allows family and friends ample time to pay their respects and offer support to the bereaved family. The long duration is rooted in the Filipino tradition of "lamay," where the deceased is kept at home or in a funeral parlor, and visitors come to pray, share memories, and provide comfort.
o Canada: In Canada, wakes are usually shorter, often lasting just one or two days. The wake is typically held in a funeral home, and the focus is on providing a time for family and friends to gather, view the body, and offer condolences. The shorter duration reflects the more fast-paced lifestyle and different cultural practices in Canada.
2. Social and Cultural Practices:
o Philippines: Filipino wakes are often lively social gatherings. It is common to see food and drinks being served, and sometimes even games or entertainment to keep visitors engaged. This practice is based on the belief that the wake should be a celebration of the deceased's life and a way to keep the spirits of the living high during a difficult time.
o Canada: Canadian wakes tend to be more subdued and solemn. The focus is on quiet reflection and offering support to the grieving family. While there may be light refreshments, the atmosphere is generally more reserved, reflecting the cultural norms of mourning and respect.
3. Religious and Spiritual Elements:
o Philippines: Religion plays a significant role in Filipino wakes. Prayers, rosaries, and novenas are commonly recited, and there may be multiple religious services held throughout the wake. The strong Catholic influence in the Philippines shapes these practices, emphasizing the importance of prayer for the soul of the deceased.
o Canada: While religious elements are present in Canadian wakes, they are often less pronounced and can vary widely depending on the family's beliefs. Some wakes may include a brief prayer service or eulogy, while others may focus more on personal tributes and memories. The diversity of religious practices in Canada means that wakes can be highly individualized.
These differences highlight the unique cultural and social practices surrounding death and mourning in the Philippines and Canada. Each tradition reflects the values and beliefs of the respective societies, providing comfort and support to the bereaved in their own ways.