01/09/2026
I am blessed to have found answers to some of life's hardest questions.
I'm even more blessed with the gifts I have that allow me to be a catalyst for healing, releasing and finding the way to moving through life differently.
Sometimes it is taking the step towards the unknown and finding the answer that works for you. For some I will be that answer.
If I'm not that answer for you, don't stop looking for the answer.
In a moment exactly like this I found my answer, not down the hall at a door, but online in the free offering of a stranger.
I do free things often, I also have paid programs and one on one sessions to ensure you actually show up.
When you invest in yourself you are more likely to show up for yourself.
If it's not with me I still encourage you to take that step, with who ever or wherever you feel called to.
You are never alone in life, find the connection that works for you and go with it.
HTTPS://Notallwhowanderarelost.love
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Last Tuesday, at exactly 7:00 PM, I decided to check out of life. My apartment was spotless, my debts were calculated, and the only loose end was Barnaby, my twelve-year-old Golden Retriever, and the grumpy veteran next door who hadn't said a word to me in three years.
You wouldn’t have known I was drowning if you looked at my social media. I’m twenty-nine, a "digital nomad" working three freelance gigs just to pay rent on a shoebox apartment that smells like damp drywall. On the screen, I’m living the dream. In reality, I’m exhausted. It’s not the kind of tired a good night’s sleep can fix. It’s a deep, bone-weary exhaustion from running a race where the finish line keeps moving.
The world feels so loud lately, doesn’t it? Everyone is screaming at each other. The news is a constant feed of doom—inflation, division, anger. I felt like a ghost in my own life, scrolling through photos of friends getting married or buying houses, while I was deciding which meal to skip so I could afford gas. I was isolated, surrounded by millions of digital voices but hearing absolutely no one.
That Tuesday, the silence in my head finally got too loud. I didn't want a scene. I just wanted the noise to stop.
I packed a small bag. Not for me, but for Barnaby. I couldn't leave him alone in the apartment. I grabbed his heavy bag of kibble, his favorite chewed-up tennis ball, and his leash.
I walked down the hall to Apartment 1B. Mr. Miller’s place.
Mr. Miller is a relic. He’s somewhere in his late seventies, built like a brick wall that’s beginning to crumble. He spends his evenings sitting on a folding chair on his porch, staring at the street, a generic can of domestic lager in his hand. He doesn't look at his phone. He just watches the world turn. In three years, our interactions were limited to me nodding and him grunting.
I knocked on the doorframe. The porch light buzzed, attracting moths.
"Yeah?" His voice sounded like gravel crunching under tires.
"Mr. Miller?" I tried to keep my voice steady. "Sorry to bother you. I... I have to go on a trip. A last-minute work thing. California. It came up out of nowhere."
The lie tasted like ash in my mouth. "They don't allow dogs at the corporate housing. I was wondering... I know this is a huge ask, but could you watch Barnaby? Just for tonight? The shelter opens at 8 AM tomorrow. I’ll leave a note for them to come get him. He’s a good boy. He sleeps most of the day."
I held out the leash. My hand was trembling.
Mr. Miller didn't take the leash. He took a long, slow sip of his beer, his eyes fixed on Barnaby. Barnaby, being the traitor he is, wagged his tail and rested his graying muzzle on the old man’s knee.
"California," Miller said. He didn't ask it as a question.
"Yes, sir. Big opportunity."
"Bull," Miller said.
I froze. "Excuse me?"
"I said bull." He set the beer down on the railing. He turned those steel-gray eyes on me. They were sharp, intelligent, and terrifyingly clear. "You ain't going to California, son. You’re wearing the same sweatpants you’ve worn for three days. Your eyes are red. And my wife... she had that same look. The look of someone who’s done fighting."
The air left my lungs. I took a step back, ready to run. "I don't know what you're talking about. I just need someone to take the dog."
"Sit down," he commanded. He kicked a plastic crate toward me.
"I can't, I have to—"
"Sit. Down."
I sat. I don't know why. Maybe because for the first time in months, someone was actually looking at me. Not looking at my profile, not looking at my productivity, but looking at me.
Miller went inside and came back with another cold beer. He cracked it open and handed it to me.
"Drink. It's cheap swill, but it's cold."
We sat in silence for ten minutes. The only sound was the distant hum of traffic and Barnaby panting softly at our feet.
"You know what the problem is with you kids?" Miller asked, breaking the silence. He didn't say it with malice, like the pundits on TV. He said it with a strange kind of sadness.
"We eat too much avocado toast?" I shot back, a weak attempt at defense.
Miller chuckled. A dry, rasping sound. "No. The problem is you think you're alone. You got that whole world in your pocket," he pointed to my phone, "but you don't know the name of the guy who lives ten feet from your head."
He leaned back, looking up at the smoggy sky where a few stars fought to be seen.
"Back in the day... and I know, you hate hearing 'back in the day,' but listen. We didn't have much. My dad worked at the plant, mom stayed home. We were broke half the time. But if my dad’s truck broke down, the neighbor, Jerry, was over with his toolbox before the engine cooled. If someone got sick, there was a casserole on the porch by sunset. We fought, sure. We disagreed on politics. We yelled. But we showed up."
He looked at me. "We’ve traded community for convenience, son. And it’s a bad trade. You’re sitting there thinking you’re a burden. That if you just disappear, the ledger balances out. Zero sum."
I gripped the cold can, fighting the tears that were stinging my eyes. "I'm just tired, Mr. Miller. I'm so tired of trying to keep up."
"I know," he said softly. He reached down and scratched Barnaby behind the ears. "I lost my Martha five years ago. Since then, this porch is the only thing I got. Some days, the silence in that apartment is so heavy I think it’s gonna crush my chest. I sit out here hoping someone will stop. Just to say hello. Just to prove I’m still here."
He looked at me, and I saw it. Beneath the tough, veteran exterior, he was just as lonely as I was. We were two guys from different universes, suffering from the same modern disease.
"The dog knows," Miller said. "Look at him."
Barnaby was pressed against my leg, whining softly. He wasn't looking at the treat in Miller's hand. He was looking at me.
"You leave tonight, that dog waits by the door for a week. He don't understand 'California.' He just understands that his pack left him." Miller took a swig of beer. "And me? I gotta be the one to call the shelter? I gotta be the one to watch them take him away? That’s a hell of a thing to do to a neighbor."
The guilt hit me harder than the sadness.
"I can't keep doing this," I whispered. "I don't have it in me."
"You don't have to do it all at once," Miller said. "You just gotta do tomorrow."
He stood up, his knees popping audibly. "Tell you what. I can't walk good anymore. My hip is shot. But this dog needs walking. You keep the dog. But every morning at 7:00 AM, you bring him here. We drink coffee on the porch. I watch him while you go to work, or look for work, or whatever it is you do on that computer. Then you come back, we have a beer, and you tell me one thing that happened in the world that isn't bad news."
I looked at him. It wasn't a solution to my debt. It didn't fix the economy. But it was a tether. A thin, sturdy rope thrown across the abyss.
"7:00 AM?" I asked.
"7:00 sharp. If you're late, I'm banging on your door. I'm an old man, I wake up early, and I get cranky."
He held out a hand. It was rough, calloused, and stained with engine grease. I took it. His grip was iron.
"Go home, Jason. Unpack your bag. Feed the dog."
I walked back to my apartment. I didn't fix my life that night. I didn't suddenly find a pot of gold. But I unpacked the kibble. I put the leash back on the hook.
I set my alarm for 6:45 AM.
The next morning, I was there. We didn't say much. We just drank black coffee while the neighborhood woke up. But for the first time in years, the morning didn't feel like a threat. It felt like a start.
To anyone reading this who feels like they’re shouting into a void, who feels like the world has moved on without them: You are not a burden. The isolation you feel is a lie sold to you by a system that wants you disconnected.
We are not meant to do this alone.
Look up from the screen. Knock on a door. Sit on a porch. The courage isn't in fighting the whole war by yourself. The courage is in turning to the person next to you and saying, "I'm not okay, can we just sit for a minute?"
Hold on. The world is a mess, but it’s still better with you in it. See you at 7:00 AM.
