03/09/2022
As a young girl, my parents always told me I could do anything that I wanted, I just needed to work hard at it. Our fertility journey has humbled me at such a deep level. No matter how hard and I work at it, we are not succeeding.
Our first IVF embryo transfer was not successful.
For some in this journey, they might feel like that was just their beginning. However, for me, it was hitting my rock bottom where expectations, efforts, emotions, and finances all came crashing down at the same time after trying for 4 years. I felt like a total failure where my body was not responding after everything that I had done to prep for this big moment.
On January 30th they transferred 2 healthy embryos. Everything was going according to plan. However, 6 days later I started feeling different. My body temperature drastically dropped even if I was taking high dose progesterone. I felt so cold, which I knew from a Chinese Medicine perspective that this was not good at all. I knew right away that I lost them. I went from feeling "full" to "empty". My confirmed it for days before the blood work came back. It was comforting in a way. A softer blow maybe. I’m always thankful for the data it gives me on a daily basis. Now it’s helping me to get back into balance.
We won’t give up. The one thing that I’m learning is to let go of outcomes. There’s only so much we can do and control in life.
This might be the hardest lesson of it all.
Let’s see where this will lead us.
📸 .maven
