28/09/2023
It's been a loooong time.
It's hard to come back as the grief has struck again, only 2 and a half years after the loss of my brother, my dad joined him,only a few weeks ago.
Feels very hard to share this but I know at least 1 person out there may need to read this. This is for you. ❤️
Losing a parent, although horribly hard, feels just a tad more natural though than a sibling, especially as my brother took his own life, whereas my dad went through, one may call, more natural, albeit sudden, end of life.
It also feels different.
I'm sharing this to open again the conversation about end of life and grief.
Many people struggle for years with the loss of a loved one and it's ok to take our time in grief. We don't have to rush it, offer fake smiles and pretend we are 'ok'.
In grief, you may have to show up for work. Attend that meeting and when people ask 'how are you', society teaches us to say 'I'm ok', when in fact we are broken and don't want to be there.
I tested my theory the other day. Attending a meeting people asked me how I've been. When I was just about to say 'I'm ok' I stopped myself, and decided I'd rather be honest. If no one talks openly about grief, who will?
So instead I said 'been better, my dad passed away recently'. I was expecting just a couple of polite condoleances, but instead we talked about grief, mental health, and alchohol addiction ( as sadly dad was a victim of). People opened up and shared their stories too, which made me feel less alone.
And you aren't alone either.
Know that each of us grieve in our own way. Don't let anyone tell you 'you should be better by now'.
● It's also ok to feel joy while you grieve. It's not a linear process.
●Eat well and rest. Now more than ever.
●Be compassionate to yourself ●During the days with brain fog where you have to do stuff, little progress, it's progress.
Please take care of yourself.
I find solace in knowing my dad is not alone and he's now continuing his journey. He has a lot of work ahead of him and I keep my faith in the Divine he is at peace.