01/24/2025
We avoid using the term loved ones because it can be seen to assume a universal experience of affection and attachment, which may not align with everyone's reality. For many of the people we support as end of life doulas, relationships can be complicated, strained, or even absent, and the term may exclude or alienate those whose experiences differ.
Here are some reasons why this term might be problematic:
1. Assumption of Affection: Not everyone has a loving or positive relationship with their family or those around them. The term may feel alienating or invalidating for people with strained, abusive, or distant relationships.
2. Exclusionary: "Loved ones" may exclude people who do not have close family or friends, such as those who are socially isolated or have outlived their support network. It can unintentionally marginalise people without these traditional connections.
3. Emotional Pressure: The phrase may impose an expectation to feel or behave lovingly toward people who are referred to as "loved ones," even when relationships are complex or unresolved.
Instead, we strive for language that respects diverse relationships and experiences to encourage inclusivity and understanding.
