Navigating Grief

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Navigating Grief

This is a platform to normalise grief and remove the silence surrounding it. A place of safety, empa

08/11/2024

We tend to sometimes miss some of the people that are there for us on this journey of grief.
Only looking at those who has disappointed us along the way.

But there are quite a few who has been such a blessing on my journey.
Seeing that it is Thanksgiving, what a great time to especially acknowledge them.

I would like to highlight a few in future posts but I want to start with this one.

Almost 3 years ago while I was living abroad in Qatar. A friend of almost 20 years suddenly passed away. It was a major shock and loss to our circle of friends.

During this time my friends in Qatar rallied around me,best they could, supporting me along the way.

One of them (Kelly) did something during this time which still stands out to me today.
On the day of my friend John’s funeral, which I was not able to attend. Kelly along with two other friends, knowing I would be alone on the day of his funeral called me up that morning and told me that we're going for breakfast.
It was hard even during breakfast because my mom and other friends were sending me footage of the funeral just so I could be apart of it. All I wanted to do right there was burst into tears but we were in a public place and it would be so inappropriate.

After breakfast Kelly, along with our other two friends told me that we're going to the store to by a note pad and a balloon. On the note paper I will be writing a note to John and attaching it to the balloon. We'll go to the beach and there I will let it go.
It would be my way of saying my farewell to John seeing that I was unable to attend his funeral.

Still today I am stunned at their thoughtfulness. The way that they created space for me to mourn and allowed me to be broken was the most beautiful gift.

I am forever grateful to them.
It meant the world to me and still does.

Thank you my Kels from the bottom of my heart.

To Lols and Ash too.
❤️😘🤗🙏

10/04/2023

Today would have been my Granny and my cousin Kim’s birthday. Both from my dad side.
They have both passed on years ago.

Their birthday reminds me of how many people, both family and non family members, I have lost at various stages of my life.

There are both grandfathers,
A granny
4 cousins
5 Uncles
4 Aunts
And more…

One could easily assume that someone who has lost so many people should be accustomed to death.

Yet, it’s not like that. Each one has it’s own significant impact in some way.
There are so many different dynamics involved when losing a loved one.
There is you’re age, support systems, how your loved ones died, the dynamics of your relationship, etc. So many factors come into play.

I actually found that the older I have become, the more intense the impact of loss have been.

So, no matter how many losses one experiences, it does not necessarily become easier.

Each loss is unique.

17/02/2023

I took a walk on the beach again today. What I saw seemed to be an expression of this heart of mine.

After multiple losses, in my heart, the footprints of my loved ones were all intertwined and meshed together.

When we experience multiple losses, our hearts experience a kind of strange overwhelming sense of paralysis.
Then, for months and years to come, you find yourself still trying to unravel the overlapping footprints and find and identify each footprint. You have the 'forever-need' to cry for them one by one and celebrate their lives one by one.

We then have to come to accept that their footprints in our hearts will always be meshed together.
#

08/02/2023

Grief is not something one "recovers" from, as the loss is never regained or replaced.

A grieving person does not return to who they were before their loss. Instead, they would tell you that they and their lives are now totally changed.

11/08/2022

We have a misconception of what loss really is. We tend to think it’s only restricted to physical death. Yet there are various forms of losses.

Swipe left to find out more about the many types of losses one can experience.

08/05/2022

Thinking of everyone that might be finding this day extra heavy on the heart.

To those of you who lost your mom. I am so very sorry for your loss.

I also acknowledge that today will be hard for those of you who have not necessarily lost a biological mom, but also some form of motherly figure. Whether it be a granny, spiritual mom, godmother, adoptive mother, mother in law or step mom.

I also want to acknowledge those moms who have lost a child.

To all of you...
Know that you are thought of today.

Sending you all so much love.

Praying for a moment of exhale for your hearts today.

Sending so much love.

NG Team.

❤️

26/03/2022

The unpredictable weather over the past few days reminded me of how unpredictable grief is.

There was about at least one day of shine and suddenly later that evening it became cool and chilly. (Understatement for how it really feels when those unpredictable moments come).

Our journey can be exactly like that. Unpredictable.
I remember just wanting the cold to end already and be done with but it was here.
Me wishing it away won’t change it.

How do you deal with those unexpected and unpredictable moments when they arise?

19/03/2022

Be Aware of Feelings

Many people, at some time in their lives, comsider su***de. Most decide to live, because they eventually come to realize, that the crisis is temporary and death is permanent. On the other hand, people having a crisis, sometimes perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an utter loss of control.

These are some of the feelings and thoughts they experience:

• Can't stop the pain
• Can't think clearly
• Can't make decisions
• Can't see any way out
• Can't sleep, eat or work
• Can't get out of depression
• Can't make the sadness go away
• Can't see a future without pain
• Can't see themselves as worthwhile
• Can't get someone's attention
• Can't seem to get control
• Feel hopeless and helpless.
If you experience these feelings, get help!

If someone you know exhibits these symptoms, offer help!

***de
***deawarness ***deprevention

19/02/2022

How To Be Helpful to Someone Who Is Threatening Su***de

• Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about su***de.

• Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.

• Be non-judgmental. Don't debate whether su***de is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad. Don't lecture on the value of life.

• Don't dare him or her to do it.

• Don't act shocked. This will put distance between you.

• Don't be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.

• Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not offer glib reassurance.

• Ask if you may contact a family member

• Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.

• Don’t leave them alone, get help from persons specialising in crisis intervention and su***de prevention.

• If necessary get in touch with the police

📝: https://www.sadag.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1904&Itemid=151

09/02/2022

You can do something to help. Looking out for a friend or loved one is an important part of preventing su***des.
It is important to ask the following questions.

What is happening in this persons life? Have they experienced any life changes recently?

• Recent loss
(of a loved one, a job, an income/ livelihood, a relationship, a pet)
• Major disappointment (failed exams, missed job promotions)
• Change in circumstances (separation/ divorce, retirement, redundancy, children leaving home)
• Mental disorder or physical illness/ injury
• Su***de of a family member, friend or a public figure
• Financial and/ or legal problems.
• Traumatic experience, Fire, R**e or An accident.

📝: https://www.sadag.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1904&Itemid=151

***de

02/02/2022

Each year there is a specific time allocated to the awareness of su***de.

However, this should not restrict us to highlight su***de.
On a daily basis, people are committing su***de and family lives are forever altered by it.

Although, over the years, even though the light has been shone this crisis, we still find communities ignorant to truth and reality of su***de.

By educating ourselves, we do not only help the individual considering su***de but we can also create a safer environment for those who have lost loved ones to su***de.

This post and a few of my next posts will focus on su***de.

Please go ahead and add any other myths that are not included in this post.

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