20/07/2020
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞
Silent suffering. Confusion. Shame.
Not knowing that the problem you have is common.
Unaware that help is available.
Difficulty finding help.
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨. Even as a medical doctor, I suffered in silence, my concerns brushed off my by gynaecologist and other doctors I saw, unable to find help and get the specialist help I needed. Dismissed, misunderstood and embarrassed.
I was told that my pain with penetrative s*x 6 months after having had my first baby was because I had psychological problems adjusting to being "three" and that everything looked just fine. My gynae talked about episiotomies healing pretty well with time. When I told her I had not had an episiotomy but 4 tears and a 40 hour labour, she brushed me off and could not get me out of her practice fast enough.
We didn't get a chance to even talk about my urinary incontinence and problems with core strength and how this was affecting my daily life. The ten free physiotherapy sessions funded by the German government to support pelvic floor health after childbirth had not been enough for me.
We didn't talk about how I was doing emotionally after the traumatic delivery where I nearly lost my life due to a massive post partum haemorrahge. She missed the diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
A lack of awareness amongst health professionals about the true implications of post birth complications is a huge issue, especially in the community, as there is a lack of ability or knowledge to address these issues. Other health professionals have an aversion to talking and addressing issues relating to s*x, s*xuality and female health.
Obstetricians in hospitals who may assist complicated deliveries, don't often get to hear about the long term aftermath of 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 interventions because follow up for women is in the community.
𝐌𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐬
I went on to have complications after my second and third babies - both elective caesarian sections.
Problems with
- adhesions
- a 9cm ventral abdominal hernia
- an unawareness that my bladder was full until I went into
urinary retention
- pelvic instability
- chronic back pain
- reduced or**sm intensity
- overworked hamstrings that tore leaving me unable to
walk or stand properly for a year until major reconstructive
surgery was done
From the outside, I looked normal, but 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧.
𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝟑𝟐.
𝐌𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞...
but unlike many others, it has a silver lining.
𝐈𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭.
I am grateful to the amazing doctors and surgeons, physiotherapists, osteopaths, chiropractors, myofascial therapists and other integrative practitioners I managed to find on my journey who took me seriously, showed empathy and had the skills and knowledge to help me. It was a team effort with each person playing a key role.
I have learnt so much.
I would not be the same person I am today without my experience.
I practice medicine differently.
I have grown and am enriched as a result.
I want to show my vulnerability and share my story to inspire other women so that their journey does not need to be so hard, or as lonely.
I have had to find inner strength and resilience, learn to trust my intuition, ask for what I need and want, find the help I needed, learn to respect healthy limits and overcome shame.
𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞 is the reason there are so many women out there suffering today. It's not s*xy to talk about these problems, but we need to.
Through showing our vulnerability, woman all around the world, can increases awareness, get the help they need and start their own journey to true empowerment - going that level further - and becoming s*xually empowered.
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12348518
Powerful petition for better post-birth care gains momentum.