20/05/2025
SUFFERING is not being a super woman.
Most ills against women in the low income countries thrived because there were no voices against them and they became a norm,such that speaking against them appears to be a rebellious act in the eyes of the society.
Recently l had an argument in our Diaspora group on a woman who was in an examination hall with a less than 2months old baby, who took a break while the exam was going on to go feed her baby.
Luckily for her,it was a bottle feeding and the Provost of the school who happened to have arrived the examination hall,alleviated her stress by taking the baby from her,feeding the baby so that the woman can continue her exams.
By the way,the Provost is a very good friend of mine and has always been proactive towards alleviating the burdens of people and l really commend him for having such a wonderful personality.
Later that same day,l got a call from one of us who my submissions on the scenario presented before us didn't sit well with.
He argued that even Caucasian women work during pregnancy.
He asked why l made it look like our men back home heap so much burden on women before, during and after pregnancy.
Now,here is the thing.
Anyone hearing him would think he is right.
I have always kicked against street information or media filled secular.
It is true that European women, Germany for example work during pregnancy but what many men and women who lack adequate information on that doesn't know is that,there is a strict bureaucratic specifications of job types with time limits for pregnant women.
A pregnant woman by law in Germany isn't allowed to lift more than 10kg of any weight.
A bag of cement is 50kg in most countries in the low income regions and about 25kg in high income regions eg some europe countries.
But we see some women carrying and mixing up to 50kg of cement during pregnancy in our country just because they want to earn money.
There are strict maternal and child protective rules for pregnant women in Europe.
Infact, if you are pregnant in Germany as a nurse,you are not allowed to do night shifts or even weekend shifts and so many restrictions mapped out to protect both mother and child.
Back to the scenario that prompted this write up.
The baby presented to us looks less than 3months old.
This can be implied that the mother is still healing from childbirth and by right should be resting.
While the decision to take her exams is her choice,the least the father of the child should have done is to make adequate plans to provide a help atleast for the moment she is writing her exams.
Even if you claim the man may be busy also,as some people pointed out in that conversation, are there no family members to help her for the period of her examinations?
Luckily, the baby is already bottle feeding, implying that the baby may not be strictly on breast contact exclusive.
Therefore help was 100% possible.
I have heard fellow women make sarcastic comparisons of their fellow women who weren't able to or still trying to heal from childbearing to other women who already healed quickly.
These said women forget the concept of thresholds that you can't compare abilities especially when related to pain.
In summary, l want people to understand that even if you term the ordeals of women as being capable of multitasking, it is still a stress on them,especially during pregnancy and breastfeeding or even weaning.
Most times what we call multitasking is simply SUFFERING.
Be empathic.
