PookyH

14/04/2026

I’m just a girl, riding on the back of a tandem, asking a turkey to love me…

(I’ve named him Godfrey and after many such conversations he now reliably answers back when we gobble gobble at him. He brightens many a morning for me. It’s the little things…)

10/04/2026

A teeny tiny wobbly newborn lamb we spotted on this morning’s ride for anyone in need of an awww moment 🥰 🐑

04/04/2026

Any of my pals geeky enough to know what I was capturing here at Corfe Castle station on the Swanage Railway?

This is one of the things I always look out for on heritage railways - the token exchange.

(The hoop being passed between the fireman and the platform staff contains a token. On a single track line, the driver must physically carry this token to prove they have sole authority to be on that section of line. The signalman uses the block instruments to agree with the next signal box that the line is clear, then releases the token - no token, no authority to proceed. We saw this still in everyday use in Sri Lanka, sometimes at quite some speed. I love it!)

25/03/2026

Last call for anyone who'd like to come and learn about / discuss EBSA and school anxiety this evening. We kick off at 7pm. Recording will be sent to everyone who registers

Practical strategies for parents and professionals supporting children who are struggling to attend school

25/03/2026

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗶𝘁.
When a young person is anxious or overwhelmed, the part of the brain that processes language and logic has largely gone offline.

Reassurance often doesn't reassure. What helps is felt safety: a nervous-system-level sense that this moment is survivable.

I've developed the SAFE framework - a simple structure for those moments (what do you think?)

𝗦𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁.
Before you approach, notice your own body. Unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, slow your breathing. This might take three seconds. An anxious young person will pick up on your tension even if you don't say a word. You can't give what you don't have.

𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴.
"I can see this feels really big right now." Not to fix it, just to name it. Validation isn't agreement. You can acknowledge that something feels terrifying without agreeing that it is dangerous.

𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺.
Sit with them rather than facing them. Resist the urge to fill silence with words. Two minutes of quiet company allows the physiological spike to start settling. Your presence is doing the work.

𝗘𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁.
Only once the intensity starts to settle, offer small choices: "Would you like some water, or would you rather just sit for a bit?" Micro-choices restore a sense of agency. The problem-solving conversation comes later.

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This is a slide from a session I'm running for the first time later this week. I'm really looking forward to it. What would you add, or what's been your experience?

Please share this if it would be useful to someone in your network.

24/03/2026

𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘀𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲.

When a child with EBSA can't get to school, the instinct is to get them in anyway. Keep the routine. Don't let the gap grow. For years, that was the standard advice, and it came from a genuinely good place.
But for many children it made things worse. Here's why...

Think about a dog. If you're afraid of dogs and one bites you, your brain doesn't learn that dogs are safe. It learns your fear was justified. Exposure made things worse, not better.

If school is the thing that bites, pushing a child in before anything has changed teaches their brain exactly the wrong lesson. Every hard day confirms it: school isn't safe.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝘀:
• Get curious with child about what makes school feel hard. Listen first, fix later.
• Identify what needs to change, whether that's sensory, social, academic pressure, or something else entirely.
• Make adjustments before increasing attendance, not after.
• Then return gradually, starting small enough that each step feels manageable and safe.

The goal is a nervous system that learns: school is okay. That only happens when the experience backs it up.

Please share this if you found it helpful

𝗜'𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗘𝗕𝗦𝗔, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲?

22/03/2026

𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁.
I talk about nothing time a lot. The importance of stopping, removing all demands, giving yourself space to rest and reset. Especially for those of us who are neurodivergent, it isn’t a luxury. It’s essential.

Today I actually did it. I am simultaneously horrified at my lack of productivity and quietly proud of myself.

What made it possible was someone else giving me permission. My partner told me the most important thing I could do today was rest. That was enough.

Sometimes we can’t give ourselves that permission. We need someone to hand it to us.

If you’re supporting a neurodivergent child, or a neurodivergent adult, or honestly anyone who runs themselves into the ground: telling them it’s okay to stop might be the most useful thing you do today.

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Please share this to your stories if you think someone in your life needs to hear it.

20/03/2026

On this morning’s ride I spotted the first bluebells of the year 🥰

20/03/2026

𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹.
The motivation is there. What's often missing isn't effort or time, it's an approach that fits how their brains actually work.

𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲.
They can't push through low-interest tasks on willpower the way neurotypical brains can. It's not a discipline problem. It's how the wiring works.

𝗦𝘂𝗯𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.
A student might revise one subject for an hour and feel fine, then be exhausted after twenty minutes of another. That's not attitude or effort. Some material activates these brains easily; some costs significantly more.

𝗦𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝘀?
𝗔𝘁 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹: allow movement during work, pacing, fidgeting, standing. Permit earbuds with music or white noise where possible. Schedule lower-engagement subjects when energy is highest. Switch activity every 20 to 25 minutes. Reframe active breaks as fuel rather than reward.

𝗔𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲: experiment with background noise to find what works for that individual. Work standing up or move between rooms. Exercise before starting, not just between subjects. Use high-interest topics as a way into harder ones. Short bursts with active breaks. And if gamifying revision helps, it helps.

𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.
Which subjects activate you?
Which cost more?
What conditions help you focus?

This isn't just about getting through exams. You'll be managing this brain for decades, and the earlier you understand what works for you, the better placed you'll be.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗲, 𝘄𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝘀.
Revision that works with the brain rather than against it becomes possible. Not easy. But possible.

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I'd love to know what's worked for ADHD students you've supported. What's made the difference?

20/03/2026

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲, live webinar, next Wednesday evening.

Book your place here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/when-school-feels-impossible-tickets-1981855441977?aff=ebdsoporgprofile

This one is for parents, teachers, SENCOs, and anyone supporting a child with emotionally based school avoidance. We'll look at what's really driving EBSA, how to break the shame cycle, and what progress actually looks like when it doesn't show up on a register.

45 minutes of taught content, then an extended live Q&A. The taught session is recorded and sent to everyone who registers.

Wednesday 25th March, 7pm GMT. £20, or free if you're a paid Patreon supporter.

Practical strategies for parents and professionals supporting children who are struggling to attend school

18/03/2026

Can confirm that London is still overwhelming and I’m still unable to take a half decent selfie. But the sun is shining and I had a wonderful day exploring neurodiversity with .world and 100+ young people as part of the Difference Matters project. A great day but I really really need the mountain bike ride I’m planning on my way home to decompress. I don’t know how I used to manage London every day.