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Amy's blog type page

A personal blog reflecting on life as a mother of two children, one of which has been through a tough cancer journey

31/12/2025

Falling apart at 39!
2025- the year of transport dramas. Oh have I learnt to dislike cars, and buses and trains... not planes- still can't afford to go on one of those! I mean, every single year for the last decade has brought us new challenges, and 2025 has been no exception. I could just write a long list of all the things that have gone wrong with our cars this year but that would be a boring post. So to summarise that part- mot failures, local garage smashing big hole into the side of our car, a new (to us) second hand car having problem after problem, break downs to and from Devon causing a blockage on a major A road, mould and most recently coming out to a smashed in back window. Both mine and more so Kevin's cars have been a huge financial suck this year!!! Emmett, who wanted to be a mechanic has decided that he is liking cars a lot less than he did 🤣

So I move onto other forms of transport, but bear with me. Overall, I’m pleased to say, my munchkins and Kevin have been, on-the-whole, fairly well this year!! Following Emmett's trip to A&E with his Asthma on Christmas Eve last year, we’ve had no more unplanned hospital visits for him. Ida's ear infections have lessened, although typically they cancelled her surgery in March and a week later she had another ear infection and burst ear drum. She continues to have regular ENT appointments and hearing tests but things are looking much better. Me on the other hand, I've been the one with the medical dramas this year... and feeling let down by NHS & private medics.

Back in July my health took an unexpected turn. Out of the blue my legs started getting large lumps all over them, these were eye-wateringly tender. After a few days the lumps started to look like massive bruises over the lumps. Trips to the GP and blood tests resulted in me being sent to A&E, where further scans and tests baffled doctors further. I was prescribed some strong pain relief and anti-inflammatories. It is thought that I have an Autoimmune disease, but further investigation was needed to establish what exactly was causing this. An urgent referral to Dermatology and Rheumatology. Dermatology saw me within a couple of days and said I needed an urgent biopsy, suggesting I would get this appointment and a follow up post biopsy within 10 days… I never did get that appointment for a biopsy or hear anything more from Dermatology. I never heard anything from Rheumatology. I never had a follow up with anyone. Thankfully, after weeks, the leg problems and dangerously “off” bloods resolved themselves, but being no clearer on what the cause was, and whether an Autoimmune Disease is to blame, I am likely to experience further problems in the future.

Overlapping the odd leg problems above, was another life-changing medical diagnosis. Four years ago I experienced some unusual “episodes”. It was put down to an increase in an antidepressant and so I was weaned off this and for a long time, didn’t experience any more “episodes”. A year later, they reoccurred, and three months after that they happened again. I went to the GP again after the second experience and was referred “urgently” to Neurology. I had done my research and was concerned that it could be a form of Epilepsy. I received a telephone appointment just after the third occurrence and the Neurologist advised me that it sounded like the “auras” that precede a seizure but they end before a seizure occurs. He advised me that it is NOT Epilepsy and so I specifically asked if I can continue driving and he said yes. He did refer me for a brain MRI and EEG. These happened within the following year and from my NHS app I could see that these appeared to have come back normal. I never received these results officially and had no follow up appointment come through to see a Neurologist. Nearly a year and a half after the last “episode”, on the day of our friend Gemma’s funeral in June, I experienced my forth set of ”episodes”. I again spoke to a GP and explained that I never did get a follow up with a Neurologist for my scan results, so the GP referred me back. It transpires the original Neurologist I had spoken to, had been a locum and had long since left. Right in the middle of all the leg problems, I saw a Neurologist. The appointment was off to a bad start when I entered and the first thing he said was “It’s not your fault but I don’t have enough time for you because you have been given a follow-up appointment, yet you are a new patient to me”. No “hello”, no “how can I help?”. The appointment felt rushed. It involved no hands-on assessment, no Neurological tests and was concluded with “well you have epilepsy, no you can’t drive”. I was absolutely gutted. Not least because I suddenly had this new life-changing diagnosis, with unknown medication; but also because my entire job as a self-employed, domiciliary Physiotherapist is dependent on being able to drive! I visit patients in their own homes. I have clients in Thame, Tring, Penn, Haddenham, Saunderton… all over the county and beyond! How was I going to continue work, school runs, afterschool activities? I decided to get another opinion. Given the lack of assessment I was provided by the NHS, I paid for an assessment by a private Epilepsy specialist. This time I was given a full Neurological assessment and, after just 3 weeks of bus journeys, I was overjoyed to be told that although confirmed Epilepsy, it was a mild form and this Neurologist was confident that with my type of Epilepsy I am safe to return to driving. I skipped out of that appointment thinking after a quick call to the DVLA, I would be driving to my afternoon patients. How wrong I was!!! Five months on and I am STILL not driving! Nothing is quick, everything with the DVLA has to be done by snail mail and most frustrating of all; the DVLA is still awaiting the confirmation from my Private Neurologist regarding his opinion. I haven’t had any further episodes thankfully. Here’s to hoping that 2026 quickly brings me some joy on the driving front.

Just for added detail, my type of Epilepsy is known as Temporal Lobe Epilepsy – Focal Aware Seizures. Despite my time working in Neurology, I had no awareness of this type of Epilepsy, so I will have a go at explaining my “episodes”; they are very hard to describe! First off I get the feeling that something is up and I can now tell when these episodes are coming. Then I feel like I am getting the sensation of Déjà vu except it is like I am remembering a dream. This dream memory is building to a very pivotal point in the dream – I feel this sense of, almost, excitement building up and that feeling you get when you’re on a rollercoaster with the sensation moving up my body. Then just as the dream memory is reaching that pivotal point, everything just disperses. Gone. And instantly if you were to ask me what that dream was about, I could not for the life of me give you any details about it. These happen several times in one day and after each “episode” I am left feeling more and more sick/nauseated and with a headache. I suffer from migraines anyway but I am sure to have one afterwards. From the outside I don’t do anything odd or weird, and I certainly don’t “fit”. I have been in the company of my children, of a friend and, in the case of the June episode, I was stood and holding hands and able to tell Kevin that I was having an episode. I remained standing and aware of the funeral going on around me. They might not sound like much, but it is definitely a unique experience, that hopefully I will never have again.

Navigating work has been very challenging. I applied for Access to Work, in the hope that I would get some help to cover the cost of taxis, but at the end of the application it stated that I will not hear the results of the application for at least 30 weeks! I was paying out lots on bus tickets, not just for me but for the kids too. We were arriving late at gymnastics and Rainbows. I had to reduce my daily patient numbers and spend far too much time traveling. An example is a patient in Thame should take me 20-25 minutes by car; but it now takes two buses and lots of walking and about an hour and a half travel time each way! For patients off the bus route, I have either had to stop seeing them, or for some Kevin drives me to them. This has resulted in a significant financial hit to me and to Kevin. In October time I finally got my Disability bus pass. This has made navigating the buses a little bit easier BUT apparently working age people with disabilities don't need to use the bus before 9am 🙄. Alike the OAP bus passes, in Buckinghamshire, you cannot use the bus pass before 9am. So, I either pay to get on an earlier bus, walk even more miles, or wait for the bus after 9am (which is always rammed! Mostly with older people). And boy are the buses unreliable! Again I could bore you to tears with all my frustrating bus stories (crazy drivers mounting every curb, having to hang out in a wacky-backy stinking bus station at 7pm with Ida whilst some fight is going on, or suspicious stains on bus seats...) but needless to say, I'm grateful I have his option but I WISH I was back driving!!!

It’s not been all doom and gloom though, there have been lots of positives! Emmett has remained well, he has been in remission for 6 years now, and has now had his oncology follow ups move from the acute service to the Outreach service. This is a big step, it means Emmett has less bloods and clinics etc which he is very chuffed about, but leaves me with more anxiety not having the frequent reassurance. Emmett is still a keen Cub and has been awarded his Bronze Scouting award and the extra special County Scouting Commendation Award. This year he was formally assessed for Dyslexia and I am pleased he is now getting additional support with the areas at school that he has been struggling with. He was proudly given the role of a Peer Mentor at school this year.
Ida loves school and love her Gymnastics even more. She has achieved her stage 5 at Gymnastics. She cannot walk anywhere now, she has to cartwheel everywhere she goes. Ida has also been doing Gymnastics at school and has been awarded Gymnast of the week several weeks in a row. Ida still loving working towards her badges at Rainbows and will move up to Brownies in a couple of months. She was nicknamed “Miss Mathematician” at school which she proudly took. Ida has an additional support package at school, as she too is likely Dyslexic.

I am so proud of both my amazing offspring, They are the best!
Emmett's Genies has had another fantastic year, with our third Year in a Day being incredibly successful, a glamorous Ball and loads of other aspects to be proud of. The charity is like having another, full-time (yet unpaid) job and I have so much to share about the progress we have made this year that I will share these in another post.

Another accomplishment this year is that Alicia Marie Peasley and I have had an brilliant year together. We set up Aylesbury PANDAS (which is a perinatal mental health support group), almost three years ago. The group has been consistent in attendance since we began but this year has been the best yet. We have some incredible women attend, one described us as their “pandas family” and we get such wonderful feedback. But additionally, after contacting our local MP, Laura, at the start of the year, we have had her support too. Laura has provided us with some amazing opportunities; I was mentioned by name in the House of Commons; earlier this year I was invited to Parliament where I was able to chat to many MPs from the House of Commons and a couple from the House of Lords, about our support group, what areas of maternal mental health support we felt needed more attention or is lacking, what government can do to improve maternal mental health support etc. I was able to discuss my experience and also the experiences we have come across from the women that attend our group. Our input helped shape Laura’s new Bill that she presented to parliament known as “Sophie’s Law”.
https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/news/sophies-law-laura-kyrke-smith-mpperinatal-mental-health-support/

Other note worthy highlights this year include my little brother getting engaged to the lovely Becky; our family trip to Bath and our family holiday to Devon, plus a trip with my parents to York. I got to see the fantastic Usher in concert, someone I have wanted to see since my teen years. I also loved taking the kids to Lapland UK, it was a magical experience. And, given that my lack of car means I am walking between 5 and 7 miles a day, I not only have achy knees these days, but I have taken on a new virtual challenge – Route 66… just 2,149 miles to go during 2026!!!

2026 will see Ida turn 7, Emmett turn 11 and also Emmett heading into his final year at Primary School, Me & Kevin celebrating 20 years together and me turning 40!!!! Let’s hope it is a better year for us and for all of you too ###

22/07/2023

Yesterday was a BIG day for Ida... and for me! Ida had her very last day at nursery!

Now I appreciate this is a milestone that many experience, in fact I’ve seen a number of Facebook and Instagram posts showing kids last day at nursery this week, but I cant help feeling that the significance of yesterday requires more than a quick comment, I cannot summarise the last 7 years in anything less than a blog post. For 7 years this nursery has been a constant in our ever changing, unpredictable and, at times, very traumatising 7 years. When everything was going wrong, nursery was there promising constant safety, constant care, constant support and routine. So here is our journey...

I clearly remember the days looking round nurseries before I returned to work from Emmett's maternity leave nearly 7 years ago. I had looked round three in Aylesbury and thought I had made my decision, when I suddenly decided I wanted to look round one more to compare. It only seemed sensible to look at one that was en route to work so I came across Aylesbury College Day Nursery. For reasons still unknown to me, I had already determined it wasn't going to be first choice but I headed there to look round with my mum anyway.
We were met by Nursery Manager Carol and shown around the building, into the four different rooms divided based manly on age; and within a few short minutes my "decision" changed- my previous first choice was demoted, I wanted Emmett coming here!
The Nursery had such a lovely feel about it, Carol was welcoming, fun and evidently keen to help working parents as much as possible. The staff were all friendly and I immediately decided it was the perfect fit.

7 years on and I still know that I made one of the best decisions of my life sending my two precious little ones to that Nursery! It is THE BEST! I have never had a single problem. My kids have always loved going (except perhaps Ida at the beginning 🤣) and the staff there are kind, caring, supportive, wonderful, phenomenal even and I literally have so much love for them all!
From the day Emmett started I knew my kids were safe in their hands and I cannot thank them enough.

Yesterday was Ida's last day there and I am feeling grief, I've lost that 7 year routine, my babies are grown up school children, but personally I've lost a source of comfort and friendship and my 7 year constant. Of course we can pop in but it's not the same. I will miss every single one of those wonderful ladies.
They were there when I was struggling with postnatal depression and listened to my woes.

They were there with a big hug, fighting our corner and rooting for Emmett when Emmett had cancer, they made sure they knew how best to help him. I remember Mandy asking to be educated on Emmett’s Hickman line when he returned to nursery even though they just needed to beware of it. And a group of them attended our fundraising tea and cake sale to further show us their support.
Carol and Dawn worked to make our lives financially less stressful during that time but ensuring Emmett stayed on their register even when they were under pressure to take him off.

They had me crying on their shoulders more times than I would have liked.

They called me EVERY TIME Emmett came into contact with a dangerous virus at Nursery when his immune system was still low- (including dreaded chicken pox that he came into contact with during his first 2 hours back after treatment 🙈)

They gave Ida her own steriliser and routine to ensure she was safe with her dairy, egg and soya allergies.
They (especially Julia) put up with HOURS of screaming from a 10 month old Ida when we were trying to settle her in.

Lisa had Ida as her own personal permanent shadow for at least a year. Cat made sure she transitioned happily to the next room when she had to be parted with Lisa, and soon Cat had a new shadow.

Dawn saw me as a hysterical mess the day before the national COVID lockdown was announced because when I picked Emmett and Ida up that day we knew we wouldn't be back in the following week and I couldn't cope with the idea of not knowing if Emmett would get to graduate! The milestone we were looking ahead to throughout the entire of his treatment was Nursery Graduation and starting school and I could foresee that opportunity being snatched away again. COVID DID prevent Emmett experiencing a graduation ceremony but Dawn and the ladies knew how important it was to me so for the few weeks Emmett made it back into Nursery after lockdowns and before starting school, Dawn got out the cap and gown especially for him, and for me. All these things meant so much to me.

This and much, much more, in addition to giving my kids the best start and setting them up so that they were/are very ready for school, has ensured that have never questioned if they were in the best place 2-3 days a week for the last 7 years. The Day Nursery Staff have guaranteed that both Emmett and Ida are ready for the next chapter in our lives. My grief is also wrapped with happiness, this point in our lives is bittersweet but I’m grateful to see my kids growing up and reaching the next part of their lives. Thank you Aylesbury College Day Nursery for playing such a huge and perfect part of our lives ❤

06/05/2023

In September last year I signed up to do a course. I signed up in secret, I didn't tell anyone at the time. Unfortunately we had so much illness in this house in the three months that followed, that I missed deadlines and got taken off the course. I had enjoyed the content and was disappointed but it wasn't just the course, I had had to take time off work with illness too and lots of things had been affected.
At the start of this year I spoke to the course organisers and explained the situation and that I was actually really valuing the course content. I had chosen to do it for a few reasons and I asked for another chance. They agreed to let me sign up again without penalty and I worked hard to complete the course this time. Today I received my certificate 🙂

Those of you who read my blogs will know that I have had my own personal battles with my mental health. Even though I myself have, in the past, had battles with self-harm and suicidal thoughts, when I am not in that dark hole, I struggle to understand why I would turn to self-harm; it felt illogical. So I wanted to do this course to understand this side of mental health more.

Additionally I now run a mental health support group with two friends of mine. Our group works with women experiencing pre and postnatal anxiety and depression. All three of us have been there. But just talking to the three of us about that time, it is clear that our experiences are similar but different.
Rate of su***de is higher in this population, and su***de is a leading cause of death in new mothers and accounts up to 20% of deaths in the first year post-birth. So I wanted to feel more confident that I might recognise these signs, if needed, earlier in women attending our group.

Another population area with a higher rate of su***de, that is often overlooked, is in our older adults. This is 'often attributed to the development of depression due to bereavement or loss of physical health and independence.' Su***de in older adults is another peak and these su***de attempts are often more planned and calculated. They tend to use more lethal methods and so the rate of attempts that lead to death are much greater.
Something I found undeniable during my career as a Physiotherapist was evident when I worked in the community team. I visited patients in their own homes, these are people who cannot attend Outpatient therapy for reasons such as difficulties leaving their house, this is predominantly due to mobility issues for frailty or illness reasons. The isolation and loneliness they experience is evident. They are often more motivated with their Physiotherapy because they want to be able to leave their own 4 walls or they have reached a depression, because of their situation. They not only were commited to their Physiotherapy but the value they had for my company was unmistakable. Some would not see anyone, except perhaps some agency carers, between Physiotherapy visits. These individuals gained as much, if not more, from my conversation as they did from Physiotherapy input. This loneliness and isolation, their reducing energy, independence and increasing health concerns can easily lead to mental health needs and this was always a part of my work that I wanted to be able to support their mental, as well as their physical, health.
I moved on to work in Neurology for eight years. The nature of the degenerative Neurological conditions or sudden life changes following a stroke, for example, that my patients were experiencing, were further causes of depression. I worked closely with a wonderful team of Psychologists during this role. I learned a great deal from this work together and it further established my desire to want to be able to provide a more holistic approach to my therapy. Just an extra point to note, the waiting list for our Psychology service was always the longest.
After I left the NHS and decided to go out on my own, it was natural that I should choose to specialise in seeing clients in their own homes, in particular with neurological conditions and/or older people, as well as pre-post surgical, and those who struggle to leave their homes for other reasons. I therefore felt it important that I further my knowledge to recognise mental health concerns in my clients too.

And then overall, mental health and su***de is a significant national concern, especially post COVID. This course covered children, young adults and adults. It educated on differences in these age groups, it explained subtle signs and ways to support and prevent self-harm and su***de but also educated on how to support su***de bereavement. I learnt a great deal from this course. One aspect of unit 4 was to look at su***de prevention campaigns. I looked into several, but chose to focus on a campaign run by the Samaritans that has since worked closely with the National Rail Network and British Transport Police. The campaign is called "Small Talk Saves Lives". Anyone can access the campaign materials and it aims to increase confidence in members of the public to trust their instincts if they are concerned about anyone and how to start a simple conversation that may save a life. I found this a worthwhile and valuable campaign especially in todays world. Su***de affects so many lives and is very much preventable.
I do hope that my personal experience and now the additional tools I have gained from this course, will allow me to support any family, friends, clients, colleagues, women I meet through our group or anyone I come across in life, who need it.

I'm proud of the work I completed for the course, my feedback was always very good. I had to search back in my memory to my uni days to remember how to do referencing but I enjoyed it, completed it, and still doing it "secretly". The Level 2 qualification is the equivalent of a GCSE and was a funded course. And most importantly of all, it has given me a bit more knowledge to help me understand my own personal challenges and to hopefully help others with theirs.

25/04/2023

I have always used my blog posts as a way of lightening my load, taking a weight off my shoulders. They're actually kind of selfish in that way but I do genuinely, also hope at the same time, that my experiences either lessen a taboo or helps someone else in some way. This post I have wanted to write for quite some time but I didn't feel I could make it so public whilst it was an open claim. Now I can finally close this anxious subchapter and feel like my shoulders are a little lighter.

Go back to 13th December 2021, my 35th birthday. I celebrated at my mums house because we had moved in for a couple of weeks whilst my dad redecorated our bathroom. Unfortunately it soon became another "memorable" birthday when mine and Kevin's phones pinged to say that Kevin's COVID result had come back positive. Before he could even see me open a present he was banished to an upstairs room for the 10+ days required at the time. COVID was riff again and the following day we got an email to say Emmett's school year were dropping like flies with it too.
Because Kevin had tested positive and it was in Emmett's class, I chose to book Emmett, Ida and I in for a COVID test... this is when you're thinking this blog post was about the nightmare few weeks that followed that day, the story of how I nearly lost my love to that horrendous virus! Actually it's not. That is a whole other blog post waiting to be written, this one takes a completely different turn now!

The following day Kevin became more unwell and by midnight that night I had called for an ambulance and he was blue-lighted into Stoke Mandeville hospital. Early the following morning, at about 8am, Emmett, Ida and I headed out to have those dreaded COVID tests. I was not looking forward to pinning the kids in their car seats to swabs their noses. But before I had even left my parents close, I had another, very unexpected, anxiety provoking drama to deal with.

My parents live in Stone, just off the main A418 Oxford Road. It was rush hour, work and school traffic combined with HS2 works meant that the Oxford Road was at an absolute standstill. I drove slowly to the end of the close, which is on a downhill slope, indicted to turn out left onto the Oxford Road, positioned the car to head in that direction and pulled on my handbrake. Turning to look to my right at the traffic knowing the only way I was going to get onto that road was if some kind person let me out. Thankfully I wasn't in a rush, knowing that traffic well, I had allowed 30 minutes until our COVID test slot started.
A man driving a familiar 280 bus was that kind person who gestured that I could go in front of him when we did start moving again. I acknowledged his kind offer, took off the handbrake, and had literally just started rolling forward when a lady, who hadn't been there when I first pulled up, stepped out in front of my car. I had moved barely a few centimeters at this point and spotted her as I turned my head back to the left to pull out. I went into emergency braking mode and stopped in time; which was a miracle considering she had stepped out in the small space between me and the main A road, quite frankly, a stupid idea given it was minimal effort to have walked behind my car to continue along that path and with everything about my car showing that I was ready to pull out.
My heart skipped a beat, she had suddenly appeared there and it had been a close call! My reaction, was to say outloud 'why wouldn't you walk behind the car?'. She was carrying a hot drink in one hand and gestured very angrily at me with the other hand whilst she continued to walk in front of the car to the pavement on the other side. Once she was across, I regained my composure, looked back out onto the Oxford Road to find the same bus driver had kindly waited for me and once again gestured that I could pull out. As I pulled out onto the road, I looked up in my rear view mirror and saw the woman had walked up the close behind me, phone in hand and was, I assumed, taking photos of my car as I pulled away. My anxiety shot up. My immediate thought was "I'm going to see these photos on the local social media group later with comments about our near miss to humiliate me'.

In hindsight the entire event was planned by her.

After the initial anxiety surrounding the near miss and an offload on my parents and my cousin later on, my focus and priorities were quickly put back into place when I received a telephone call from the hospital informing me that Kevin was being moved to intensive care and that I should "prepare for the worst, and hope for the best". Several weeks of anguish and a crazy Christmas went by and I forgot about the woman who stepped out in front of my car. That was until about six weeks later.

I was walking home from dropping Emmett at school at the end of January and I received a text message from my car insurance company. It read "We have been advised of a possible incident involving your vehicle. As such, a claim has been set up under your policy to investigate this. Please contact us as soon as possible to confirm your involvement and the incident circumstances. Even if you or your vehicle has not been involved, we would like to confirm this with you." The non-incident above didn't even come to mind. My first thought was that they'd tell me a car with my registration had been in an accident in some random far away place and I'd be able to prove I hadn't been there; however as soon as they said the date, I knew instantly it somehow related to that anxiety provoking near miss. What could possibly have been reported?!

As the man from my insurance company explained that the women who had walked in front of my car was claiming I had hit her with my car, I felt suddenly sick. I knew this was a lie but instant panic hit. I became very tearful on the phone. I didn't know what this could mean, my brain jumped straight to, could I be arrested for dangerous driving or a hit and run? How was I going to prove I was being truthful? I was shocked someone could claim something so untrue. Naively I hoped that my explanation of what actually happened would be enough. But I quickly learned that this wasn't the case.
The woman I had managed to miss (despite her stupidity of walking out in front if my car), had in-fact done 'all the right things' immediately after our "incident", according to my insurance company. She had been to A&E and they had received a copy of her medical report. She had also visited the police station station reported a hit and run. After which she had gone and found herself a solicitor. My logical brain had its moments, I asked questions like, 'what could the medical report possibly say to back up her claims, when I know I hadn't touched her?'. Well quite simply, nothing visible! Shocking that! The report, it seems, listed certain "pains"- 'hip pain', 'back pain' and 'all-over pain' is what was explained to me. Well then, there was nothing visible to report, because there was nothing visible to see because there had been NO contact! I went as far as to describe how her gait was completely normal as she walked on in front of my car and as a Physiotherapist I would have picked up on any altered gait pattern. She walked with a normal gait, because, again, no contact had been made!
However I was then told that my insurance company weren't going to fight her claim because being my word against hers, it wasn't "worth the time or the money". What?! OK so after everything that had been going on in my life at that time, and every other bit of chaos we've had in our lives the last few years, the last thing I needed was a whole investigation and all the stress that comes with it. BUT there was no question about it, no hesitation from me. I couldn't believe that was their position!
Heck no! I very firmly replied that accepting responsibility and not fighting this claim was unacceptable! First off, I KNOW she was lying, her claim was 100% fraudulent. I was NOT going to let this woman have an easy win for so many reasons. The main reason being, if she gets a payout for this fraudulent claim and has a quick win, I have no doubt she will do this again (and she's probably done this before!), and that means someone else has to go through this stress! That acceptance also cancels my 18 years of no claims, it increases my insurance costs and it increases everyone else's insurance costs. Plus the total waste of police and A&E time! And I was not accepting any of that! After that call I immediately reported her fraudulent insurance claim via the dedicated Thame Valley Police website.

So it went that my insurance company agreed to fight the claim. I had independent assessments of my car (to which they found no damage...obviously), I had to make formal statements, I had to agree to attend court if/when it got to that point and I went on a personal mission to track down the bus driver who had let me out. Having learned that there is no cctv on that area, the house nearby's security camera doesn't quite cover that part of the road and that any video footage from bus camera will have been deleted before I even knew a claim had been made; the bus driver was my only hope. I had even had a dash cam up until a few weeks prior when it started playing up and so when it had dropped off the windscreen for the umpteenth time, I left it off! (I now always make sure my dash cam.is up, on, working and angled well). Facebook friends helped me and I managed to track down the man driving that bus! He described the event almost exactly how I remembered it. Even down to the takeaway coffee cup... but after my momentary elation at finding a witness, he declined to get involved. Despite giving the bus information to my insurance company and them finding out through Arriva that this was the driver on the route that morning, he had since left employment at Arriva and GDPR meant that they couldn't pass on any more information. I was gutted. I felt like I was back at square one and the one person that could make this all go away, wasn't going to help.

Anyway fast forward to June, the investigation is ongoing, my insurance company had confirmed that they fully back my recall of the incident and have written back and forth to her solicitor saying so. That summer it reaches a point where I am informed that from that point on it could only go one of two ways; she withdraws her claim or we go to court. We were waiting to hear... and we were waiting... and waiting. I am informed by my insurer that the women who has made this claim "works in a similar line of work to me". Given I'm a Physio, for the NHS at the time, I took that to mean she is in a caring role, be it NHS, care home or otherwise. And that they have written to remind her that proven fraudulent claims could affect her ability to work in the future as this would be on her record. This is very true!

Strangely it wasn't until later last year that I actually found out what she had claimed had happened that morning, and my reaction was shocked laughter I think! She had claimed not just that I had knocked her, but that I had completely taken her out! She had, apparently, landed on my car bonnet and rolled onto the floor!!! What a dramatic explanation for someone who turned up at A&E with no visible injuries!! She claims I lied about her carrying a hot drink in one hand and that after knocking her to the ground I shouted obscenities at her. I hopefully don't have to tell any of you that know me, that this is not remotely anything I could or would ever do. If I had thought I had even brushed her, despite a possible COVID risk, I'd have been the first person checking she was OK, not shouting obscenities at her and driving off. Also on what planet is it believable that she went from injured on the ground to upright and several meters further up the road in record time to film my car.

Anyway I don't need to go into the stupidity of the accusation any further. Needless to say, despite the total ridiculousness of her claims, the entire event and the whole year and 3 months that proceeded that, had caused me an unnecessary and unfair amount if stress. I would verge on a panic attack every time I saw that an email from my insurance company was sat in my inbox, always expecting it to be a summons to court. It all hovered over me adding so much weight. Initially for a good while I felt very jumpy as a driver, expecting someone to appear in front of my car as I drove past someone walking along the pavement. I talked about it in CBT, in counselling, to the Occupational Health Physician I was under throught work because I was signed off from all the incredible stresses in my life. And I lost faith in people a little more after that day.

Even just 2 months ago, the claimants solicitor was still asking to review reports. And I was told my case could still either end up in court or would only close if the claimant withdrew her claim or it had been an entire years since "any meaningful activity related to the case had occurred", which meant at least a year from January. This was upsetting and disheartening. Then out of the blue, a couple of weeks ago I got another email. I looked up at Kevin and said "and now I'm in a panic again, I have an email from my car insurance company". I opened the email, dreading it's contents and already convincing myself that I'm being advised of my Court date...to be told "We have now received satisfactory confirmation the Third Party claim is withdrawn in the matter. As a result, we have removed the claim from your policy and can confirm that your No Claims Bonus will not be affected."
And just like that, after one year and three months of total stress and anxiety over it, I can breathe a little bit easier again. It is just a shame her fraudulent claim has had no repercussions for her. I hope at the very least, she will refrain from trying another "quick win" claim on another innocent driver.

Address

Aylesbury

Website

https://graceizbeauty.wordpress.com/

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