The Holistic Mind - Counselling & Hypnotherapy

16/06/2025

Anxiety. It's no fun at all. Thankfully when you have a good understanding of how the nervous system works then you can start to help to make things less 'sensitised'. Another area of panic to work with is the avoidance of whatever the trigger is as 'the more you avoid, the more you embed' the fear. The brain says, "look I feel better, I was right to avoid that thing!" A common issue with painc attacks can also be the fear of the actual symptoms of the panic attack itself, which can be quite scary.

The good news is that using nervous system calming techniques along with talk and behavioural techniques and confidence building, a more empowered way forward can be found. The root cause will be found if we work together and I will advise how to go forward to help you feel better.

Find out more about how I work, or book an appoinment with me at https://www.the-holistic-mind.com

26/05/2025

Often when people start therapy with me, they have no idea that they have parts of themselves which are in conflict.

It's quite a complex subject to sum up in one image but this slide does that at least on a superficial level. We are all of course a complex mix of thoughts and feelings so one size does not fit all.

➡️ An obvious example of a 'part' is an inner critic, and most people will know exactly what you mean if you say this, even if they feel they don't have one themselves. Inner critics can often be an internalised voice of one or many people who were critical or not there to support us emotionally when we were younger and also in significant adult relationships. It's not just words that influence acquiring an inner critic, it can also be a lack of needs being met, giving us the message that were 'not worth the effort' or 'less than'.

People feeling 'less than' lies at the hear of many emotional issues. However, these are learnt emotions, and working with a healthy 'wise adult' part, a new way of thinking can be built. Initially this 'wise adult' character may need to be 'modelled' on a person or character who you feel will be the ideal role model to lead you forward.

➡️ Another example is anxiety. Whether it's a real experience which has left you shaken, or a generalised anxiety for no obvious reason, 'parts' will usually be a part of the picture. Despite much use of willpower to get things done which you fear, ultimately the fearful part will often win the day eventually. Why is this and why can't willpower alone solve this? If the fear is quite superficial you may be able to reprogramme using a behavioural approach. However, if the fear is deeper rooted then the nervous system will be on red alert, and ultimately will prevent you from doing the fearful thing. Your autonomic nervous system – AKA ANS (fight/flight/freeze/fawn) is there to protect you and will usually be out of your conscious awareness until you are fully immersed in the behaviour. To help in this instance then a mix of hypnosis to calm the nervous system mixed with other approaches including part work will be needed.

➡️ There are too many other examples to list here fully, but if you are curious please feel free to contact me to find out more.

If you feel this post is helpful, or may be helpful to someone you care about then please do consider sharing or reaching out. I am committed to helping break down the fear and stigma around emotional issues. Working with emotions is a brave and fulfilling thing to do, not weak or indulgent as many people fear.

Find out more about how I work at https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/

23/05/2025

Hello and welcome to my new followers, wonderful to have you here. Today's post is about the complex subject of shame. It is quite the 'hot potato' of emotions and tends to push the mind to extremes to avoid 'sitting with' the feeling.

The model of shame though is actually quite simple to break down. It either gets pushed inwards, outwards or worn as a badge of honour. Once you know where you sit with this, then the real work can begin.

➡️ For those who turn inwards with shame, the feeling can be of withdrawl and making yourself smaller. The authentic self gets repressed whilst you try to work out what's happening. Rumination, self-doubt and low mood can be a thing here as can going into a freeze or shutdown state as the internal dialogue becomes "I'm broken, wrong or less than". (none of which are true!)

➡️ Those who wear shame as a badge of honour, are claiming it as an identity. An identity that will bring attention from others.

➡️ For those who expel the feeling outwards, it can show as frustration, blame, anger and rage. A need to feel 'more than' or 'grandiose' over others brings relief and an escape from the shame, at least for a while. Controlling behaviour and narcissism can* stem from shaming experiences. (*not always the case)

If you or someone you care about is struggling with this or another emotional issue, please do reach out or share this post with them. You can see more about me at https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/

02/04/2025

I understand how it feels to be stuck and caught up in emotional dysregulation. Emotional issues can feel very disempowering and isolating. Friends and family often mean well but can't always provide the support we feel we need to move forward.

I can provide a safe, encouraging space for you. The work will be at a pace that suits you and will always be solution focused.

It is my aim to help people feel better as soon as possible – WITHOUT causing further trauma. The work is highly focused and targeted to quickly find the root cause of what is an issue for people. I do not believe in 'quick fixes' or 'papering over' issues, but I do believe in getting people back into life and functioning as soon as possible without being 'stuck in' or 'reliant' on therapy.

I use a powerful combination of Talk Therapy alongside Hypnotherapy, and many other techniques from different modalities, such as Internal Family Systems (IFS), Part Work, Gestalt and other Integrative and Somatic approaches. I also believe it is vital to psycho-educate my clients, so that if you work with me you will gain a deeper understanding into the 'how' and 'why' of your behaviours – knowledge is power.

I work with clients who feel that they struggle to make sense of their emotions for many reasons. We are all unique, and no problem is too small to bring to our work.

Why not drop me an email at info@the-holistic-mind.com and we can see if would be the right therapist for you. You can also find out more about me on my website, https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/ I never chase or pursue clients, so please feel free to reach out without obligation.

At The Holistic Mind, I specialise in helping people who are emotionally stuck to make sense of their feelings. I work with counselling and hypnotherapy, and utilise many techniques from different modalities, such as IFS, Gestalt and other Integrative approaches. I offer help for: CPTSD, moving on f...

26/03/2025

I have clients from Beckenham and all surrounding areas who travel to see me face-to-face.

Choosing a therapist is an extremely personal and important decision. For therapy to be effective you must feel a connection and trust the therapist understands firstly how you think, and also what you are hoping to achieve.

I have developed a unique way of working with clients that is thorough and targeted. We find root causes without going over and over details of traumatising events. As a trauma informed therapist, the focus is on how you function in the here and now without re-traumatising you.

If you are struggling with a difficult past that is affecting you present, or worrying about your future or feeling stuck with an emotional issue and would like to speak to someone who is compassionate and non-judgemental then please do reach out.
Change always begins with awareness. From working with 'what is' you can then move forward, mindfully and with self-compassion towards a brighter future for yourself.

Why not drop me an email at info@the-holistic-mind.com and we can see if would be the right therapist for you. You can also find out more about me on my website, https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/ I never chase or pursue clients, so please feel free to reach out without obligation.

At The Holistic Mind, I specialise in helping people who are emotionally stuck to make sense of their feelings. I work with counselling and hypnotherapy, and utilise many techniques from different modalities, such as IFS, Gestalt and other Integrative approaches. I offer help for: CPTSD, moving on f...

25/03/2025

As well as seeing clients face-to-face in Beckenham, Kent, I also see clients online, and it can be a great solution for those unable to leave their home for whatever reason. Book an initial session with me today and see how it works for you. If you don't feel it's for you then there's no obligation to continue working with me.

If you are struggling with a difficult past that is affecting you present, or worrying about your future or feeling stuck with an emotional issue and would like to speak to someone who is compassionate and non-judgemental then please do reach out.

Change always begins with awareness. From working with 'what is' you can then move forward, mindfully and with self-compassion towards a brighter future for yourself.

Why not drop me an email at info@the-holistic-mind.com and we can see if would be the right therapist for you. You can also find out more about me on my website, https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/ I never chase or pursue clients, so please feel free to reach out without obligation.

At The Holistic Mind, I specialise in helping people who are emotionally stuck to make sense of their feelings. I work with counselling and hypnotherapy, and utilise many techniques from different modalities, such as IFS, Gestalt and other Integrative approaches. I offer help for: CPTSD, moving on f...

20/03/2025

Is an emotional issue holding you back in life? I understand how upsetting this can be and how much it can knock your confidence.

I can help with my bespoke mix of therapy. Using techniques from Gestalt, Internal Family Systems and Somatic techniques, mixed with hypnosis and visualisation, I help people to move on from CPTSD and Emotional Dysregulation.

I have walked the path myself and done the inner work necessary to hold space for others who are in pain.

What would you like to let go of and move on from? Past traumas may have caused us to 'adapt' but it doesn't mean that has to define us or that we can't change that once needed adaptation.
Sessions are available face-to-face in Beckenham Kent, and online for those not local to me. To find out more about me, how I work and prices visit https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/

26/02/2025

Let's talk about Inner Child Work and Re-parenting Yourself. I prefer to call it Part-work, as that is the essence behind this kind of therapeutic work.

I begin work initially from the approach of three key players. The Wise Adult, the Wounded Child and the Adaptive Child. Work always begins with the Wise Adult, and using a trauma informed protocol. Once there is sufficient nervous system regulation (a feeling of safety) then therapeutic work can begin at an appropriate pace.

For those who had a challenging childhood, for whatever reason, there is a high likelihood that an early 'wounded' part, led to an 'adaptive child' part developing. A child part that although still a child began to act like an adult. Being responsible for things, or people and their emotional states, or having to be their own primary caregiver or protector. It will either exile or fiercely protect the younger 'wounded' part, and often people who are now adults are still unknowingly living their lives dictated by this 'adaptive child' part.

The work I do has a powerful effect, allowing people to move forward being proactive rather than confused and reactive. Without a map, how do you know where you're going?

If you would like to work with me, you can see more about me at https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/. Alternatively send me an email at info@the-holistic-mind.com.

06/01/2025

Has an emotional issue been holding you back in life? Choose this year to say "Enough!" and take the brave step forward and prioritise your mental health and wellbeing.

I take a sensitive but highly focused approach, and can help with my bespoke mix of therapy. Using techniques from Gestalt, Internal Family Systems and Somatic techniques, mixed with hypnosis and visualisation, I help people to move on from CPTSD and Emotional Dysregulation.

I have walked the path myself and done the inner work necessary to hold space for others who are in pain.

What would you like to let go of and move on from? Past traumas and life events may have caused us to 'adapt' but it doesn't mean that has to define us or that we can't change that once needed adaptation.

Sessions are available face-to-face in Beckenham Kent, and online for those not local to me.

Find out more about me at https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/. Follow me on my page: The Holistic Mind - Counselling & Hypnotherapy

07/10/2024

Is an emotional issue holding you back in life? I understand how upsetting this can be and how much it can knock your confidence.

I can help with my bespoke mix of therapy. Using techniques from Gestalt, Internal Family Systems and Somatic techniques, mixed with hypnosis and visualisation, I help people to move on from CPTSD and Emotional Dysregulation.

I have walked the path myself and done the inner work necessary to hold space for others who are in pain.

What would you like to let go of and move on from? Past traumas may have caused us to 'adapt' but it doesn't mean that has to define us or that we can't change that once needed adaptation.

Sessions are available face-to-face in Beckenham Kent, and online for those not local to me. To find out more about me, how I work and prices visit https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/.

21/09/2024

People pleasing. It can look like you are just being a nice person, and you may even get praise from others for doing it. "Oh, they're such a giving and generous person, they always put others before themselves, how lovely."

Whilst of course it is nice to be kind to others, if the trait strays into an unhealthy expression, with someone lowering their own needs, feeling overly obligated or scared that if they don't fulfil a role then they may be punished or judged, then this is not a healthy expression of 'kindness'. In therapeutic terms, the person may be acting from a 'please and appease' strategy. In its strongest form it can be a trauma response or 'adaptation' to a challenging situation. 'Please and appease' can be used by children to get the attention of disinterested caregivers, or to calm or diffuse angry or chaotic ones. However, adaptations often get carried into adulthood, and the once useful strategy no longer serves to make for healthy, boundaried relationships.

The good news? Adaptations, essentially adjusted behaviours, can be recognised for what they are, and the purpose they once served. It's also worth noting that there's not something wrong with you if you chose this way of functioning as a child. An adaptation is a survival strategy, and often a very effective one. However, in adulthood, there are more empowering ways to interact with others in life. Essentially, it's all about boundaries and finding the confidence to realise that it's ok that you have needs too. It's time to see yourself as an equal to others!

Change always begins with awareness. From working with 'what is' you can then move forward, mindfully and with self-compassion towards a brighter future for yourself.

Why not drop me an email at info@the-holistic-mind.com and we can see if would be the right therapist for you. You can also find out more about me on my website, link in my bio. I never chase or pursue clients, so please feel free to reach out without obligation. message: info@the-holistic-mind.com

08/09/2024

Did you make 'adaptations' to your behaviour in childhood to feel safer?

You are not alone, and it's a natural part of how the brain adapts our behaviours to keep us safe. Your brain's primary role is to keep you safe and alive, and it will do things that may have made sense in childhood, (such as becoming small and invisible, or crying out for attention to an unavailable caretaker) but no longer serve in adulthood. Using my powerful changework approach, you will learn how to step into your power so that you can move forward in life with a clear plan and a clear mind.

Change always begins with awareness. From working with 'what is' you can then move forward, mindfully and with self-compassion towards a brighter future for yourself.

Why not drop me an email at info@the-holistic-mind.com and we can see if would be the right therapist for you. You can also find out more about me on my website https://www.the-holistic-mind.com/ . I never chase or pursue clients, so please feel free to reach out without obligation. message: info@the-holistic-mind.com