01/05/2026
“They’re triggering me.”
I hear that a lot.
And I understand what people mean when they say it… but if we’re being honest, it’s not the full truth.
Because most of the time, that person hasn’t created something in you. They’ve touched something that was already there.
That’s the uncomfortable part of this work.
It would be easier if it was just about them. What they said, what they did, how they behaved. But when something really lands, when it gets under your skin, there’s usually something deeper being met.
An old feeling. A belief about yourself. Something you’ve not fully looked at.
And instead of turning towards that, most people turn outward. They focus on the other person, they react, they try to get away from the feeling as quickly as possible.
But if you slow that moment down, even slightly, there’s something there to learn.
You can actually ask yourself… why did that affect me the way it did? What did that bring up in me?
Because that’s where the work is.
It’s not about blaming yourself, and it’s not about excusing someone else’s behaviour either. It’s about recognising that these moments show you something about your inner world that you might not see otherwise.
If you can start to treat people as mirrors, even the ones that frustrate you, then things begin to shift.
Not overnight, but gradually.
You stop giving all your attention to what’s happening outside of you, and you start understanding what’s happening within you.
And that’s where real change begins.
—
Much love and respect,
Dorje Rangdol
རྡོ་རྗེ་རང་གྲོལ་
This post is a reflection and is not a replacement for therapy.
Bringing the medicine of heart to the world!
