17/04/2026
I genuinely believed I was lazy. Like… when I couldn’t start something, when I avoided things, when I just couldn’t do it… I thought it was because I wasn’t trying hard enough. But I was trying so hard all of the time. I just didn’t understand what was actually going on. Realising I might have ADHD changed that. I learned that it wasn’t about motivation. It was about executive functioning, low dopamine, struggling to start and prioritise tasks, and many other things. My brain wasn’t “lazy”.
It was working on overdrive all the time - constantly processing, thinking, trying. And that’s exhausting.
So, of course, I’d crash. Of course, there were days I couldn’t think, couldn’t move, couldn’t do… because I’d already used up everything I had. Letting go of that one word ‘lazy’ changed so much for me. Finally, I could give myself some grace, have compassion for how my brain actually works, and recognise I needed more space than I was giving myself. Then, I started doing things differently: I began to support myself instead of fighting myself, pay attention to my sensory needs, respect my processing speed, try to understand my capacity, instead of pushing past it.
But even then, I still found myself questioning if I really had ADHD or not. I was in a constant loop of “do I / don’t I?” So, for me, getting a diagnosis gave me the validation I needed to stop questioning it. From there, something deeper shifted: I now had the language to understand myself properly. Language for the things I used to judge myself for, for why things felt harder, for needs I didn’t even realise I had.
Once I had that, I could stop calling myself lazy. Stop telling myself I was the problem, and carrying stories that were never true in the first place. If you’re starting to question whether a diagnosis is right for you, I’ve written a blog exploring whether an ADHD diagnosis really matters as it’s something I went back and forth on a lot before making that decision myself. You can read it here: https://lizmelling.co.uk/does-an-adhd-diagnosis-really-matter/