Vicki La Bouchardiere

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Vicki La Bouchardiere

Stress reduction specialist for business owners Your business was supposed to give you freedom. So why does it feel like a prison? They set boundaries.

If your brain won't shut up about work at 3am, if you're envying people with "normal" jobs, if you're wondering whether the juice is even worth the squeeze anymore - I get it. I've been the business owner who lost everything. I've had the anxiety, the depression, the severe mental health struggles that come with running a business badly. And I've spent 18 years helping established business owners find their way back to sanity. What I Actually Do:

Here's the thing: I'm not a marketing coach. I won't help you scale, get more clients, or double your revenue. What I will do is help you stop feeling like a dogsbody in your own business. Help you set boundaries that people actually respect. Help you function like a capable human being instead of an overwhelmed, always-on stress case who can't switch off. I work with business owners (not startups - you need to have been at this a while) who thought they needed better time management or productivity hacks, when what they actually need is to fundamentally change how they operate and how they let others treat them. My Approach:

I use coaching and evidence-based clinical hypnotherapy. Intensive, focused work that actually shifts things - not endless sessions where we talk in circles. Whether your brain works like everyone else's or you've always felt a bit different, I help you understand how you're getting in your own way. We look at your thought patterns, your state management (basically, how you feel and function day-to-day), and the beliefs that are making everything harder than it needs to be. The Reality Check:

It doesn't have to be this hard. You don't need another person telling you to hustle harder or wear your stress like a badge of honour. You need someone who understands that you're not broken, you're not failing - you've just been operating in a way that's making you miserable. I work alongside my partner Kevin Whitehouse (40 years in accountancy, now a business mentor), so I understand business from every angle. We live together, work together, and discuss cases daily. This isn't theoretical coaching - it's real-world understanding of what it actually takes to run a business without losing your mind. What Changes:

My clients stop being available 24/7. They delegate. They take actual holidays. They stop obsessing over that one difficult client or staff member at 3am. They remember why they started their business in the first place - and it starts feeling like a pleasure again, not a burden they're trapped under. If This Sounds Like You:

I send regular email tips - a mix of sanity-saving perspective, humour, and life philosophy that helps you stop taking everything so bloody seriously. They're short, they're real, and people tell me they actually help. If you want in, drop me a message. Let's talk about making your business feel less like a prison and more like the freedom you signed up for.

16/03/2026

Watched that Manosphere thing. Had thoughts. About your business, actually.

There's a difference between a movement and a counter-movement, and it's worth understanding.

A movement creates new rules because the old ones don't work anymore. Women's liberation wasn't about going back to anything - it was about building a new map for a world that was changing. It was uncomfortable, messy, and took decades, but it was fundamentally about moving forward.

A counter-movement is different. It's a reaction to change that feels too fast, too chaotic, too threatening. Instead of creating new rules, it tries to restore old ones. Not because the old rules were better, but because they were clearer. They promised certainty.

That's what I saw watching the Louis Theroux documentary everyone's banging on about. The Manosphere one.

These blokes are preaching traditional family values while sh****ng everything that moves. They're selling courses on becoming "sovereign men" while being completely enslaved to the algorithm. They claim to be all about logic and stoicism, then lose their s**t the moment Louis gently questions them.

The contradiction is staggering. But watching them, I didn't see stupid. I saw stressed.

They're grabbing onto rigid rules because the world feels chaotic. The "old ways" promised certainty - do X, get Y. Follow these steps, get this result. It was a map. And when Louis challenges that map, they double down. Because admitting the map is bo****ks means admitting they're lost.

Sound familiar?

I see the exact same pattern in business owners every single week. Smart, capable people making decisions based purely on panic, then dressing it up as strategy.

They say they value work-life balance, then take client calls at 9pm on Sunday. They claim they want to be seen as premium, then say yes to every budget project that comes along. They talk about wanting focus and clarity, then pivot their entire business model because someone on LinkedIn said they should.

Ask them why, and watch them double down. "My industry's different." "I can't possibly say no right now." "Once I get through this busy period, then I'll sort it out."

It's not logic. It's fear dressed up in a business suit.

The Manosphere guys want rules because rules feel safe. Stressed business owners want the "right strategy" for the same reason. Both are looking for certainty in a world that doesn't offer it anymore.

But here's the thing about grabbing onto rigid rules when you're panicking: you end up living in complete contradiction to what you actually value. You preach one thing, do another, then justify it with increasingly mental gymnastics.

The men in that documentary aren't confident. They're terrified. And the more terrified they get, the louder they shout about their rules.

Your business doesn't need another strategy. It needs you to stop making decisions from a place of stress and calling it logic.

Because when you're calm and confident, you don't need rigid rules or the "one right way." You can actually think. You can set proper boundaries. You can say no without spiralling into catastrophic thinking about what you might miss.

You can run your business like an actual leader instead of someone constantly firefighting while pretending it's all part of the plan.

The Manosphere guys are looking for certainty in all the wrong places. Are you?

12/03/2026

Another day, another existential crisis solved

Yesterday we had another hot seat day at Rose Cottage, and it was bloody brilliant.

Someone commented on LinkedIn that it can be hard to open up in front of a group. And yeah, it absolutely can be. It's easier to protect your ego than be honest about what's eating away at you. But you can only solve problems when you're open about how you feel.

We had a small group - all highly experienced, all amazing at what they do. The majority facing similar challenges. Marketing efforts that used to work aren't landing the same way. Enquiries slowing down. That nagging feeling that maybe they need to evolve.

Then came one of those moments. One guy was sharing his struggle with marketing - knowing what he needs to do but finding it all such a massive faff. Another bloke looked across the table and said, "Oh my god, that's exactly how I feel."

That's why these sessions work.

Our marketing expert - who had his own hot seat and challenges - said something brilliant: "You have to choose your poison. Choose which form of discomfort you want, because nothing's going to feel like a walk in the park."

We're sold the dream that everything should feel easy. But the reality? It takes work and often doesn't feel comfortable. Hearing that from people who've actually been through it lands differently than just hearing Kevin and me bang on about it.

One guy thought his campaign had failed and was ready to bin it. When the marketing expert dug into the numbers, he said, "Mate, your response rate is bloody good. Keep doing more of that." Classic case of giving up just when something's working.

Someone else felt embarrassed about procrastinating over something simple. They came away realising it wasn't something fundamentally wrong with them - just needed different tactics. That lowered their stress and quietened the self-beating-up voice.

Here's the thing about stress: you literally cannot make logical decisions when you're stressed. Blood flow goes away from the strategic thinking part of your brain. So when someone shares and visibly relaxes - that's when clarity comes.

One guy said at the end, "I almost didn't come today. Almost convinced myself I didn't have time." But he was so glad he did. They all left looking lighter, brighter, ready to take on their week.

This isn't group therapy or a pity party. When business owners help each other, they give practical advice they've actually tested. Brilliant minds helping brilliant minds.

Kevin and I have to lose our egos sometimes because we hear these ideas and think, "S**t, I should have thought of that." But we don't have all the answers. We're just building an environment where the answers show up anyway.

Professional loneliness is real. Working in isolation, making decisions alone, wondering if you're the only one struggling - it's exhausting. Networking events can make it worse because everybody else looks like they're succeeding effortlessly.

That's not what happens here. And before you panic thinking "oh god, not another group demanding my time" - relax. Most of our clients don't speak to each other between sessions at all. They've got enough trouble keeping up with family and existing friends. But when they turn up, they pick up exactly where they left off. Deep conversations, real support, then back to their own lives. Just strategic touch points throughout the year when you need them.

It's one of the reasons we get powerful results in small groups at our home - it's non-threatening. Yesterday's group have known each other for years, so they were comfortable from the start.

We're bringing hot seats to the next Rhinefield House event too. Bigger group, hotel setting, but the same magic when people realise they're not alone.

The beauty of hot seats? You don't have to be in one to benefit. Business owner issues are so universal you can hear someone else getting advice and think, "Yeah, I need that too."

One person asked the marketing expert what it would cost to work with him. The answer? "You probably can't afford me at the moment." But he still gave incredibly helpful advice to everyone. That's the quality of people in our world.

If this sounds like the sort of group you'd like to be part of - one that's there when you need it, responsive to your actual needs rather than forcing you through some rigid curriculum - get in touch.

11/03/2026

I’m in our garden room, waiting for hungry business owners to descend on Rose Cottage for today's hot seats session.

Eddie's already losing his s**t with excitement. And because apparently I'm a glutton for punishment, we're also dog-sitting Dottie and Haggis for our mate Jon. So yeah, three dogs, too, and whatever chaos unfolds over the next few hours. Living the dream.

These quarterly sessions are honestly some of my favourite days. Don't get me wrong, the posh hotel events at Rhinefield House are bloody lovely, but there's something about cramming people around our table, making lunch, and getting properly stuck into what's actually going on that just hits different.

And here's where it gets interesting - half the time, the business isn't even the real problem.

Case in point: one of today's attendees is rocking up from his brand new house. Last time he was here, he was completely stuck. Convinced he needed to wait until his business was running perfectly before he and his wife could make the move they'd been dreaming about for ages.

We unpicked that bo****ks pretty quickly.

Turns out, he didn't need perfect circumstances. He just needed permission to stop waiting. He left here, drove home, casually asked his wife "fancy moving this year then?" and they actually bloody did it. New house. Done. Just like that.

That's the magic of getting smart people in a room together being brutally honest about what's really holding them back. Sometimes it's crap systems. Sometimes it's limiting beliefs you didn't even know you had. And sometimes it's just realising you've been trying to solve the wrong sodding problem for months.

It's why these sessions work so well. It's solution-focused, it's positive, people actually help each other out, and over time they become proper mates rather than just business contacts who nod politely at networking events.

Because let's be honest - running a business can be lonely as hell, even when you're surrounded by people all day long.

If you're sitting there thinking "Christ, I could do with some of that" - that mix of practical business sense, mindset work, and actual human beings who get it - then let's have a chat. Our programmes include these sessions, and the next one's in about 12 weeks. There might be a spot going if you're quick.

Right, someone's just pulled into the drive. Time to hide the good biscuits.

10/03/2026

Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today to Get Through This Thing Called Life...

You know that feeling when you sit down at the start of a new quarter, set your goals with genuine optimism, and then life decides to absolutely bo****ks up your plans?

Yeah. That.

Maybe you get knocked on your arse with illness for three weeks. Or your biggest client project falls through at the last minute. Or you're dealing with a divorce, a house move, caring for an elderly parent, or just the relentless chaos of running a business when everything feels like it's constantly on fire.

And suddenly, that journal you started with such good intentions? It becomes a painful reminder of everything you're NOT achieving. So you stop opening it altogether. Because who wants to keep staring at a list of goals you're "failing" at?

I used to do this all the bloody time. I'd be journaling away, feeling productive and on track, and then something would knock me sideways and I'd just... stop. Because looking at my unmet goals felt like looking at hard evidence of my own inadequacy.

But here's the thing: the times when you think you really don't want to journal are probably the times you need to do it most.

Most business journals are designed around one thing: tracking progress towards goals. Did you hit your targets? Tick. Did you complete that project? Tick. Did you achieve what you set out to do? Tick, tick, tick.

Which is fine when life is cooperating. But when is life ever that bloody straightforward?

As a business owner, you're not clocking off at 5pm and forgetting about work. Your business doesn't exist in some neat little box separate from the rest of your life. It's all tangled up together - your work stress affects your relationships, your health impacts your productivity, personal drama sucks the life out of you and makes running your business feel impossible.

And here's something nobody tells you: problems and challenges in business are completely normal. You are a problem-solver. There will always be something to work on. And when things are finally going well? We inevitably try to expand, take on more, push ourselves further. It's almost the way we're designed.

So if your journal is only measuring whether you ticked off your goals or not, you're setting yourself up to feel s**t about yourself every time life throws you a curveball. Which, let's be honest, is most of the time.

That's why earlier this year, Kev and I made a change to the 12-week journal we designed for our clients. We added something we call the Daily Character Check.

It's simple. At the end of each day, you rate yourself on how you showed up - not on whether you achieved your goals, but on how you handled whatever the day threw at you.

Give yourself a 0 if you abandoned your plans and avoided challenges. A 5 if you followed your plans loosely and handled challenges inconsistently. Or a 10 if you committed to your plan and/OR tackled challenges with a great attitude.

And this is the bit that matters: you can give yourself a 10 even when everything's gone to s**t and you've achieved precisely nothing you set out to do.

Let me give you an example. Last month, I was ill for pretty much the entire month. Started with a cold, developed into sinusitis, and it absolutely floored me. I'm not talking about soldiering on with a sniffle - I was properly wiped out - I actually ended up in bed for three days halfway through it all which is virtually unheard of for me, and I was really struggling either side of that.

All my goals? Completely scuppered. A whole month of plans down the drain.

After three days in bed, I started to become a bit more mobile. And you know what the temptation was? To try and catch up. To open my laptop and get sucked into six hours of emails. To revive the household. To make up for lost time.

But I didn't. Well, I let myself do little bits of those things, but I made myself a proper schedule around getting rest. I said to myself: as soon as I start to feel tired, I'm going to rest again. I allowed myself to sit on the sofa and watch TV. I cleaned up my diet completely - no alcohol, no processed foods, I even weaned myself off caffeine because I didn't want it interfering with the sleep my body desperately needed.

And when I looked at my journal those days, I often gave myself a 10.

Not because I'd achieved anything so to speak. Not because I'd ticked off a single goal. But because I recognised that supporting my recovery was the smartest thing I could do. I showed up to the challenge of being ill with the best possible attitude.

Under the old way of thinking, I'd have given myself a zero. I was incapacitated, unproductive, useless. And that would have been demoralising as hell.

But the Daily Character Check let me see it differently. I was doing the very best I could under challenging circumstances. And that deserved credit.

This isn't just about being nice to yourself (though God knows we could all do with being kinder). It's about maintaining your self-esteem and sense of capability when things aren't going to plan.

Because if you start thinking of yourself as a failure every time life gets in the way, you're in trouble. It's like being on a diet, having one biscuit, and thinking "sod it, might as well eat the whole packet now." That black-and-white thinking gets worse when you're stressed, and it can completely derail you.

And here's the thing about stress that most people don't realise: when you're beating yourself up for not getting things done, you're actually adding to your stress levels. And when those stress hormones are firing, it makes logical, rational thought more difficult. The fight or flight response literally takes blood flow away from the area of your brain that needs it most for clear thinking. So you're not just being hard on yourself - you're actually making it harder to solve the problems you're facing.

I see this with clients all the time. Something goes wrong - a project falls through, a client messes them around, they lose a big opportunity they were counting on - and they start beating themselves up. "I knew I shouldn't have done it that way. I knew this was wrong. I'm such an idiot."

But sometimes things just happen that aren't your fault. You don't have to blame other people, but you also don't need to flagellate yourself. You just need to pick your t**s up and get on with life.

And that's what the Daily Character Check helps you do. It helps you ask: okay, that didn't go to plan, but how can I show up well today anyway?

Your big project fell through? Can you spend time reaching out to old clients, asking for referrals, doing something aligned with filling that gap? Then you can give yourself a high score for responding well to disappointment.

You're going through a major transition in your business - maybe hiring someone to take over your role so you can focus on growth? It's completely normal to feel uneasy about that. It would actually be weird if you had no reaction at all. Uncertainty is uncomfortable. But you can still give yourself credit for moving forward despite that discomfort, for recognising that growth opportunities rarely come without a hitch.

The journal Kev and I made for our clients isn't just about work goals. It covers all the areas of your life - your business, yes, but also your home life, your relationships, your health, your lifestyle. All of it. Because for a small business owner, work never happens in isolation. It's all part of the same messy, complicated, beautiful thing called life.

And working with us means learning to see your life as that whole unit - recognising how it all dovetails together, and how keeping yourself sane and healthy and functioning well has a direct impact on how your business runs.

I've been journaling for about 10 years now, and I wish I'd had this Daily Character Check feature years ago. When I was going through menopause. When my father died. When I was dealing with difficult periods in building this business. I think I would have been so much kinder to myself.

So if you use a journal - even if it's not ours - try adding this for yourself. At the end of each day, give yourself a score out of 10 for how you showed up. Not for what you achieved, but for your attitude, your resilience, your willingness to tackle challenges or be kind to yourself when you needed it most.

Because keeping that dialogue open with yourself, especially when things are difficult, is crucial. You can't just ignore yourself when things aren't going to plan. That's when you need your journal most - to check in, to remind yourself how you've coped with challenges before, to give yourself credit for turning up with a good attitude even when everything feels like it's falling apart.

Life gets in the way. We sit down at the start of each quarter and write our goals feeling full of hope, but inevitably things happen. And being able to keep a sense of positivity and self-respect throughout those challenges? That's not just nice to have. That's essential.

“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life”, as Prince would say. It's messy, unpredictable, and rarely goes to plan. But you can still show up well to it. And that's worth celebrating.

Let’s go crazy!

(Who can tell I’m off to see a Prince tribute on Friday? LOL…)

Dr “Everything Sometimes Be Not Alright” Vicki

P.S. If any of this resonates with you and you're struggling with keeping your head above water in your business, get in touch. Let's have a chat and see if we're aligned to work together. Sometimes all it takes is someone who actually understands what you're going through to help you see things differently.

05/03/2026

So there I was, standing at a bus stop in town with my 6-year-old granddaughter, having what can only be described as a full-blown existential crisis over a bus app.

The car with all the child seats was being serviced, and my Growler (that’s my F-Type Jag - called that because Jaguar's head logo is "The Growler," which still makes me chuckle like a fool) wasn't exactly equipped for ferrying small people about. I had a choice: taxi or bus.

Now, I haven't been on a bus since 1978. Not out of snobbery - I just live somewhere relatively rural, and a one-hour car journey could take half a day of changing buses, three different apps, and possibly a sherpa. But I thought, sod it, let's make an adventure of it.

Here's the thing though: that bus journey ended up being the best part of our entire day together - and we went to the cinema, had lunch out, went shopping, the full works.

What made it special? Sitting right next to her, having proper conversations without having to concentrate on driving or remembering where the hell I parked. Just us, chatting about life's big questions (mostly involving whether unicorns smell sweet and why grown-ups drink coffee). And on the way home, we scored seats at the very front of the top deck of a double-decker. It felt like flying. I was 6 again too.

But here's the moment that properly got me.

I was standing at the bus stop on the way home, wrestling with the app like it had personally insulted my mother, getting increasingly frustrated, when Flo spotted a bus driver walking past. She walked straight up to him, said "Excuse me," and asked him which stop we needed for her town.

Just like that. No drama. No app-induced rage. Just asked a human.

He thought she was adorable (because she bloody well is), and I felt ridiculously proud of her for having the confidence to just talk to people like that. Meanwhile, I got a massive reminder from my tiny companion that it's still okay - revolutionary concept here - to ask a real person for help when you're in a fix.

Which brings me to something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and it's not just because I'm clearly rubbish at bus apps.

There are loads of apps and AI tools out there now that reckon they can do coaching and hypnotherapy. And look, I'm not some tech-phobic dinosaur waving my walking stick at progress - the apps are fine for basic stuff, and I'm genuinely excited about the good that can come from all this rapid tech. I've explored apps and AI for my business too..

But I think there will always be a place in the world for in-person, one-to-one interaction with real coaches and therapists.

Actually, scratch that. I think we're going to need it more than ever, and here's why.

One of the issues I reckon we humans are going to struggle with increasingly is anxiety around tech - especially when people lose a sense of what they can trust to be real. Deepfakes, AI chatbots pretending to be human, your mate Dave who might actually be three algorithms in a trench coat. It's getting weird out there.

And here's something else that keeps me up at night: coaching chatbots could lead people into an ever-decreasing circle of confirmation bias. You know what the problem is? People don't know what they don't know. A good human coach spots your blind spots - the stuff you can't see because you're too busy standing in your own way. Maybe AI will crack that one day, but right now? I wouldn't trust it to spot my car keys, let alone my psychological blind spots.

That's why Kev and I wholeheartedly intend to keep our in-person group meetings going, even though it would be dead easy to take it all online and work in our pyjamas. Nothing can replace actually meeting real people. Shocking, I know. I'll keep doing in-person retreats, focus days, and I'll always give people the option to travel to work with me face-to-face for coaching and hypnotherapy sessions.

And if you want to go off-grid for a while? I'll accommodate that too. Phone calls, even snail mail if that's what you need. It's hilarious calling that a "new" option, isn't it? "Introducing our revolutionary new service: letters!" But someone who's feeling the need to digitally detox might genuinely appreciate knowing they don't need to be plugged into the internet to work with me.

I've also made it a policy not to create any shorts or reels - even though they could get me more business and apparently that's where "the algorithm" lives. The attention and mental health issues that come with that kind of content are definitely on my radar. I don't want to be part of the problem. So everything you see from me will be long-form videos and copy.

I'm not apologising for not stimulating your dopamine levels or making your brain feel like it's been through a blender. I'm just here, waiting calmly behind the noise, for the next client who's ready to engage with my content and actually think for more than 7 seconds.

Because sometimes the old ways - like asking a real person for directions, or sitting on a bus having an actual conversation, or working with a real human coach who can see what you can't see and will lovingly call you on your bulls**t - are still the best ways.

Turns out my 6-year-old granddaughter Flo already knew that. Maybe we should all be taking notes.

If you've got issues to sort out and you're craving some real human connection and support (you know, the kind where you can actually trust the person exists), get in touch. Let's talk.

04/03/2026

What Really Happens When New Parents Return To Work (and what you can do about it)

Before I dive in, a quick note: while I'm focusing on mothers returning to work in this piece (because that's where most of the research and real-world examples come from), everything I'm talking about applies to any primary caregiver coming back after parental leave. The challenges are the same regardless of gender.

I'm currently working with a team where mums are returning to work after having babies, and it's prompted me to do more research into this whole area. What I'm sharing here are general findings from that research and from conversations I've had over the years with various friends and clients - not about any specific individuals. But bloody hell, the more I've looked into this, the more I've realised how much we're all just muddling through without really talking about what's actually happening.

If you run a small business and you've got someone returning from maternity leave, you're probably feeling a mix of things. Relief that your valued team member is back. Maybe a bit of anxiety about how it's all going to work. And if you're honest, perhaps some uncertainty about what you're supposed to do or say to make this transition smooth.

Here's the thing: your returning team member is probably feeling about ten times more anxious than you are.

The Reality Check:

According to research from consulting firm & Culture, 70% of parents experienced feelings of anxiety, stress and dread about returning to work after parental leave. Not just a bit nervous - proper anxiety and dread. And 51% reported having a negative experience once they were actually back in the office.

That's more than half of returning parents who aren't happy with how they're being treated once they're back at their desks. In 2025.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: "But I'm not treating them badly! I'm delighted to have them back!" And I absolutely believe you. But here's where it gets complicated, especially in small businesses.

Why Small Firms Are Different:

In a massive corporation, there's usually HR, policies, procedures, maybe even other people who've been through the same thing recently. There's infrastructure and wiggle room.

In a small team? You might be the only woman. The only person who's ever taken parental leave in that company. The only part-timer. And that creates a very specific kind of pressure that's easy to underestimate.

I've seen friends go through this. One mate went back three days a week and spent every single one of her days off obsessively checking emails because she felt so guilty. She didn't take lunch breaks. She stayed late to "prove" she was still committed. She over-apologised constantly - "Sorry, I know I'm only here three days" - even when she was doing exceptional work.

The guilt of being the only part-timer was eating her alive. And her boss had no idea because she seemed to be coping brilliantly. She was just really good at masking.

The Assumptions We Make:

Here's where things get tricky. You're busy running a business. Your returning team member looks fine. They're getting their work done. They haven't said anything's wrong. So you assume everything's okay.

But they're assuming that if they admit they're struggling, you'll think they can't handle it. They're terrified of being "that person" who can't cope. And if they're the only mum in the office, that fear is amplified because they don't want to confirm any stereotypes about mothers not being able to cut it at work.

Meanwhile, you're assuming that if there was a problem, they'd say something. You don't want to keep asking "are you okay?" because you're worried it'll sound like you're doubting their abilities.

So nobody says anything. And the pressure builds.

There's another assumption that's easy to make: that everyone's experience of parenthood is roughly the same. But it really isn't. You might have had a baby who slept through the night at two months. Your employee might be dealing with a baby who still wakes every 90 minutes at six months and a partner who works away. From the outside, you both just look like "parents who've come back to work." But the reality is completely different.

The Part-Time Trap:

Let's talk specifically about part-time returns, because this is where things go wrong most often.

Someone brilliant at their job full-time comes back three or four days a week. And here's what happens: nobody actually removes any of their responsibilities. The job description stays the same. There's just this vague sense that they'll "do what they can" in fewer hours.

Except you can't do five days of work in three days just because you're experienced. But high-performing people will absolutely try. They'll work through lunch. They'll log on in the evenings. They'll check emails on their days off. And then they'll burn out.

There's also the structural issue: when you're part-time, you miss stuff. Meetings happen on your days off. Conversations happen. Decisions get made. You're constantly playing catch-up, which is exhausting in itself.

What Actually Needs To Happen:

It starts with getting really clear about expectations, especially for part-time returns.

Before they come back, have a proper conversation about what their role actually looks like now. Not a vague "we'll figure it out" conversation. A specific one. What responsibilities are they taking back? What's being redistributed? What does success look like in this role at these hours?

Then check in with them properly. Not just a casual "how's it going?" in passing. A proper sit-down after the first week. Then again after three or four weeks. Then regularly after that.

But you need to ask better questions. "How are you?" will get you "fine, thanks." You need to ask things like:

"Is your workload feeling manageable?"

"Are there any tasks that are taking longer than they used to?"

"Is there anything you're worried about saying?"

"What would make this easier?"

And you need to give explicit permission for things that should be obvious but often aren't. Like finishing work on time. Like taking lunch breaks. Like not checking emails on days off.

I know that might sound ridiculous - why would someone need permission to finish at their contracted time? But the culture of "everyone else stays late" or even just the perception of it can make someone feel like they're failing by leaving at 5pm.

The Internal Pressure:

Here's something really important to understand: a lot of the pressure your returning team member is feeling might not be coming from you at all. It's coming from inside their own head.

The more conscientious someone was before they left, the more pressure they're going to put on themselves when they return. High-performers are often their own worst critics. They're interpreting your silence as disappointment even when it's not.

This is why you can't just assume that being supportive is enough. You need to be actively, vocally reassuring. You need to counteract that internal narrative that's telling them they're not doing enough.

What About The Rest Of The Team?:

Worth mentioning: the rest of your team have probably been covering while your employee was on leave. They might be relieved to have them back, but they might also have some feelings about workload redistribution or flexibility. Acknowledging the extra work people have done and being thoughtful about how you talk about flexibility matters for everyone's morale.

The Bottom Line:

Look, you're not going to get this perfect. Nobody does. This is complex, messy, human stuff.

But being aware of what's really going on - the guilt, the pressure, the assumptions, the masking - that's half the battle. Being willing to have honest conversations and check in properly rather than just hoping everything's fine? That matters enormously.

Your returning team member is probably putting immense pressure on themselves to prove they're still valuable, still committed, still "worth it." The best thing you can do is create space for them to be honest about what's actually manageable, give them explicit permission to work their contracted hours without guilt, and check in regularly enough that small problems don't become big ones.

And if you're reading this as someone who's about to return to work or who's already back and struggling? That guilt you're feeling is completely normal. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. But you're allowed to speak up. You're allowed to say "this workload isn't realistic in these hours." You're allowed to finish on time without apologising.

This stuff is hard. For everyone. But it doesn't have to be quite as hard as we're making it.

If you're a business owner trying to navigate this situation and want some support in getting it right, or if you're someone returning to work and feeling overwhelmed by the pressure, get in touch. I work with both business owners and their teams, and everything I do is tailored to your specific situation. Sometimes just having someone to talk it through with who understands both sides makes all the difference. You can reach me to book a call and we'll figure out what support would actually help.

Address

Rhinefield Road
Brockenhurst
SO42 7QB

Telephone

01747 821352

Website

http://www.venture-coaching.com/

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