Paulathefuneralcelebrant

06/05/2026

For me, being a celebrant is about so much more than just delivering a service. It’s about people, supporting families through one of the hardest times in their lives, before, during and, if they wish, after the funeral.

And the space really matters.

Some venues make it easy with adjustable lecterns, which helps me feel comfortable and properly connect. But others… I’m 5ft 2”, and I end up peering over a huge fixed block of wood, which creates such a barrier.

At one venue, the lectern was so high I was offered an old wooden crate to stand on. I laughed, grateful it could hold my weight but honestly, that’s not always appropriate, and some people could find it uncomfortable or even undignified.

And it’s not just about me. What about children, or someone in a wheelchair? What chance do they have?

For those already carrying grief, they should not also have to worry about climbing or balancing just to share memories.

Such a simple fix. I would love to see all crematoriums and memorial spaces offer adjustable lecterns as standard. It would make a world of difference.💜

05/05/2026

💜 What if, at the end of a funeral, instead of (or alongside) a traditional collection for charity, we invited people to honour a loved one in a more personal way?

Rather than giving money, guests could be encouraged to carry out small, meaningful acts of kindness in their memory, something simple, thoughtful, and human. A kind word, a helping hand, a moment of generosity.

It shifts the focus from a single gesture on the day to a ripple of goodwill that continues out into the world. And in a way, it lets that person’s legacy live on not just in remembrance, but in action.

What do you think of this as an idea? be interested in your views. 💜

04/05/2026

Today marks the start of Dying Matters Awareness Week.

Talking about death isn’t easy, but it matters. That’s what this week is about: gently encouraging those important chats with the people we care about.

I will not post every day on this subject - just a little thought.

So, today’s little thought… funeral wishes.

You’d be surprised how many families have no idea what their loved one would have wanted.

Things like:

* Church or crematorium – and where
* Cremation or burial
* Songs or hymns
* Prayers (if any)
* Colours or a theme
* Flowers
* Charity donations
* Wake or refreshments
* Type of coffin
* What happens with ashes

It might feel a bit uncomfortable, but having these conversations now can make things so much easier for the people we leave behind. I guess, if nothing else if you really feel unable to talk, writing it down can help but then tell your family you have done it and where it can be found.

This year, Hospice UK’s message is simple: let’s talk about death and dying.
There is resource on many subjects on their website https://www.hospiceuk.org. 💜

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03/05/2026

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02/05/2026

A little lighthearted post today that hopefully makes you smile, brought about by a conversation I had with someone last week.

I had to smile when they said, “You don’t always choose the most flattering times to do a video or photos of yourself, do you, Paula?” Apparently, the windswept look and the occasional “just come from a graveside” moment have been noticed.

The truth is, that’s simply the nature of what I do.

I’m not about to start polishing or perfecting things that aren’t. The wind blows, my hair follows its own plan, and I do my best to look smart and presentable, but sometimes it’s a bit more real than refined.

And regardless of how the wind treats my hair, or whether I’ve got makeup on or not… I’m still me, just as I am.

Of course, I appreciate a professionally taken photo as much as anyone. But the day-to-day reality of my work isn’t always picture-perfect, and that’s okay.

So here are a few moments of me looking a little windswept and slightly undone, at gravesides and beyond.

It is what it is… and hopefully it raises a small smile. 💜

01/05/2026

The Committal is the moment where you say your final goodbye to your loved one before they are buried or cremated. It’s usually a short, simple part of the service, often taking place at the graveside or in the crematorium, and marks the point where they are committed to their final resting place.

It gives everyone a chance to pause, reflect, and say that last goodbye.

There’s no right or wrong way to do it and it’s completely up to you. Some families choose a special piece of music, others prefer a few meaningful words, and many like a combination of both. You might have a gentle instrumental track playing quietly in the background while something is said.

However you choose to do it, this moment is yours to shape in a way that feels right. As your Celebrant I am here to listen and create something that works for you. 💜

30/04/2026

I’m truly humbled by this recent review. There is never any expectation to leave one, and I am mindful that such reviews are often written during such emotional times.

Thank you 💜

29/04/2026

💜 Conduct at a funeral………Grief is incredibly powerful, and it shows up differently for everyone. Tears, silence, even that deep, raw, almost animalistic cry that comes from your gut, all of it is human. And yes, all of it is understood by those who’ve grieved before.

A funeral is about people coming together. It’s never just about one person’s grief. Everyone in that room is carrying their own loss, some more than others, of course, but the service itself is a shared moment to honour the person who has died with dignity and respect.

Sometimes, people look for ways to help them get through the day. And if I’m honest, the most natural way is to allow yourself to feel it, the rawness, the pain. Because in doing that, you begin a journey that, in time, does what it needs to do.

Some people understandably want to numb that pain. They might turn to alcohol or other substances. It can feel like it will help, and this isn’t about judgement, but what it can do is heighten emotions, cloud judgement, and lead people to behave in ways that aren’t in keeping with who they usually are.

Grief on its own can already shift quickly into anger. Things can be said or done that can’t be taken back. Add something else into the mix, and it can make everything feel that much more intense, more unpredictable.

And the truth is, that moment, that service, only happens once.

Grief, just as it is, is enough. It’s real, it’s valid, and people can hold space for it. But when it’s mixed with anything else, it can become something harder for everyone involved.

On the day of a service, no one expects you to be anything other than yourself. Just to be present. And to remember that everyone else is grieving too.

At its heart, a funeral is about saying goodbye with love and respect and the last thing anyone wants is to look back on such a day with regret.

Just something to think about. 💜

28/04/2026

Late Night Kitchen Thoughts 💜

27/04/2026

Grief is different for everyone, no two people carry it the same way.

If you can, share just one word, more if you wish, that describes what it feels like for you. It might seem small, but your word could help someone else feel seen. Sometimes just realising how many different, messy, even conflicting feelings exist in grief can make it a little less lonely. 💜.

26/04/2026

Over the past three weeks, I’ve received so many thoughtful and deeply personal gifts from families who have placed their trust in me, a bracelet, artificial flower arrangement, x 2 scarves, a gift voucher, flowers and even a bottle of Ouzo. I’m beyond overwhelmed.

I feel truly honoured to do what I do, and incredibly grateful for the kindness and trust shown to me. Thank you, it means more than I can say. 💜

25/04/2026

Recently, i did a toast on the flower terrace for a wonderful young mum, who liked a Red Bull Queen, so it was quite fitting to raise a can after the service, as the sun shone upon us ..... 💜

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