The Not So Fertile Psychologist

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The Not So Fertile Psychologist

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Supporting women & couples to find balance on the rollercoaster of infertility💗

10+ years as a psychologist
3+ years of my own secondary infertility journey🍍

Subscribe to my Newsletter - https://bit.ly/HiMnewsletter

15/10/2025

Today marks the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week with the global Wave of Light.

At 7pm tonight, families across the world will light candles in memory of their babies, creating a wave of light that spreads across time zones.

In January last year, I experienced an early loss after my first round of IVF. Tonight, I’ll light a candle for my baby, and for yours too.

I’ll mark my baby with a scan picture of my transfer, as that’s all we have.

I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing. I grieve with you.

Not just for the loss of our babies, but for the loss of the future we had imagined.

The birthdays that won’t be celebrated.

The milestones we’ll never witness.

The life we dreamed of building with them.

We carry them with us forever. They shape our lives always.

And I’m holding space for every loss:

The miscarriages that others minimised.
The chemical pregnancies people said “don’t count”.
The terminations for medical reasons.
The stillbirths that shattered worlds.
The IVF cycles that never made it.
The babies who lived for moments, days, or weeks.
The losses that came after years of trying

Every single one matters. Every single one deserves to be remembered.

If you’ve experienced loss on your fertility journey, you are not alone 🕯️

💕 Share this if loss has affected you or someone you love.

Remember: You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone.

10/10/2025

Today is World Mental Health Day, and I want to talk about something that desperately needs more awareness - the profound mental health impact of infertility.

Research shows that those experiencing infertility have rates of anxiety and depression comparable to people with cancer or heart disease.

And yet, this suffering often goes unrecognised and unsupported.

Infertility…..

It’s trauma symptoms from failed treatments and losses that people don’t recognise as trauma.

It’s grief that isn’t acknowledged or marked the way other losses are.

It’s anxiety that can impact every decision, every plan, every social situation.

It’s depression that deepens as more of life becomes consumed by fertility struggles.

It’s relationship strain as couples navigate this brutal journey differently.

It’s isolation as others don’t understand what you’re going through.

If you’re struggling with your mental health during infertility, you’re not “not handling it well”.

This IS horrendously hard. And you deserve compassion and support.

To everyone else: these struggles are real, they’re common, and they need to be taken seriously.

Check in on your friends going through this. Believe them when they say they’re struggling.

And please, stop with the “just relax” advice.

Remember: No one chooses this, it is not our fault, and we are not alone.

07/10/2025

If you’re trying for a baby and steadily unravelling every time you have to wait another two weeks for a test result, or smile through a work presentation after your colleague’s twin pregnancy announcement, I want to share something with you.

The Fertility Exhaustion Remedy is a FREE 3-day online reset that supports you as a whole.

It’s where your mind, body and soul can exhale. And it starts October 21st.

I’m sharing this because as a clinical psychologist specialising in fertility, I see how important it is to have different types of support on this gruelling journey.

While therapy helps process the deep grief, trauma and complex emotions of this journey, it is not for everyone at all stages.

Mindset coaching like Alice Rose’s RECLAIM course can help you navigate the exhaustion and feel more empowered on your path. And it’s free!

If you’re feeling exhausted and stuck, this could be the additional layer of support that makes the difference.

Comment REMEDY below to recieve my affiliate link and save your spot!

Remember: You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone 💕

17/09/2025

As a psychologist who specialises in infertility AND as someone who has lived experience of this journey, I’m committed to giving you the truth.

The fertility space is full of well-meaning but harmful advice.

I’ve heard every toxic comment, both professionally and personally, and I refuse to add to that noise.

You deserve support that doesn’t gaslight your experience.

You deserve someone who understands that this journey is brutal, unfair, and complex - and that there’s no simple fix.

My approach isn’t about staying positive or finding silver linings. It’s about processing your very real trauma and grief, developing genuine self-compassion, and finding ways to live fully while navigating this uncertainty.

Your feelings are valid. Your grief matters. And you don’t need to be grateful for lessons you never asked to learn.

Remember: You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone.

Address

Chichester

Website

http://www.hopeinmindpsychology.com/

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