30/11/2025
Thereâs a piece of writing by JanâWillem van der Heiden that speaks so beautifully about the experience of being deeply held in therapy; Not fixed, not directed, not reshaped⌠simply held as a whole human being.
What touched me most is the way he describes being seen in all the places he once hid - the grief beneath the anger, the shame carried from childhood, the parts of himself he thought were âtoo much,â âtoo messy,â or âtoo broken.ââ¨And how, in the presence of someone steady and compassionate, those parts slowly found room to breathe.
Itâs a reminder of something quietly powerful:
Therapy isnât about advice.â¨It isnât about being impressive.â¨It isnât about arriving with everything together.
Itâs about having a space where the storm is allowed to be a storm.â¨A space where someone wonât flinch at the parts youâve learned to hide.â¨A space where your truth, your grief, your becoming can unfold at its own pace.
So many people worry about being âtoo emotional,â âtoo lost,â or âtoo muchâ in the therapy room.â¨But often itâs in those very moments - the ones weâre most afraid to show - that healing begins.â¨Not because someone gives an answer, but because someone stays.
There is something profoundly human about being witnessed with gentleness.â¨Something that softens shame, loosens old stories, and reminds us:â¨you donât have to hold everything alone.