06/02/2026
Its 2.47 in the morning and I've been awake for just over an hour, not just because of Andy's hideous snoring, although that does play a large part. But we are up at the hospital, last night was an absolute mad rush to get here. I finished work at 5.45pm, had a 40 minute drive and a 20 minute walk to get to the station to get the 6.48pm train. Not to mention the time it takes to get Autumn and the stuff out the car, buying the ticket at the station and heaving the push chair down 6 steps at the station. It wouldn't have been so bad if her walker wasn't on the back, but I decided to bring it so she had something to do while we were waiting for her op. The drive was smooth, the walk/run was long, but we made it to the station. I somehow managed to heave the pushchair/walker and Autumn in it down the 6 steps on my own with some super strength I had got from somewhere. And having got on the platform, we still had about 20 seconds spare. We got on the train and I stupidly got into the wrong doors, which meant the toilet was the next door up and the seats were too close together to the navigate the pushchair. So I had to catheterise Autumn where we were- not great, but there werent too many people about. A kind lady helped me get the push chair off the train and over the massive abyss between the train and the platform....seriously, it was massive. I always take for granted that Andy normally navigates this for me.
We met Andy in London. He was waiting for us, having come a long way from work.
We were lucky in the sense that Autumn had already been fed at Mum in laws. Which meant that she wasnt desperately hungry, and so she was pleasant and taking in the adventure as it came. We did however decide to give her another late night meal, in the hope she didnt wake up in the morning starving hungry. We arrived at the accommodation at about 7.45pm and Andy then went out to search for the food. She had to stop eating and drinking at 1.30am, so she tucked into her late night meal, shortly followed by two big bottles of milk at 8.30pm, an hour after her bedtime and then settled down for Mummy cuddles before reaching the land of nod.
The evening was a bit of a whirlwind, but we made sure that Autumn knew what we were doing every step of the way. Including what today holds. We brought the little wooden figures of a doctor, nurse and surgeon with us, just to help explain and give reassurance about today.
Shes fast asleep next to me now, as is Andy with his snoring.
I'll be totally honest with you, it doesn't get any easier, the packing, travelling etc, but the worst bit is the waiting. As hard as it is with Autumn, when she's hungry, and when we are waiting for the nurse to come and take us all down, the fight and struggle she gives as the anaesthetic begins to kick in and her fighting with all her might to get away from it. But the hardest part for us, is when we go back to her little empty bed. The silence so close to us, but the sound of the other children on the ward in the distance, and from suddenly going from 100 miles an hour, to 0. The wondering, anticipation and the unknown. That's the hardest part.
The op will roughly that 90-120 minutes, but it will be one of the longest 90 minutes in the world.
As much as its hard for us, its harder for Autumn. Being taken to a strange place, not knowing where she is, what's happening, then waking up, feeling uncomfortable with people she doesn't know. But we will go down and meet her as soon as we can.
The last photo is of Super Autumn, just because she is truly super. 🥰
