Neil Chester Coaching - Experience You

04/09/2021

03/09/2021

If you could find out one thing about your future using a crystal ball, what would it be that you would want to know?

29/08/2021

What is mental health, according to a journal I read it is described as

Our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.

As a psychological coach this is a question I am asked more often than not. As it affects each one of us in different ways there is no definitive answer. The way I respond is that we are all born with mental health just like we are born with physical health. It's where we are on the scale between 1 an 10 with 1 being the they very best that determines how 8t looks like on an individual basis.

So here's the thing have you ever given yourself a rating on the scale or relied on someone sating you have a mental health issue? There is nothing wrong with a professional like a GP saying you have this or that, but it is generalised. No two people are the same, mental health is as unique as a a fingerprint.

Do please continue to do what you have been instructed to and carry on with any medication you have been prescribed, I,m not a mental health professional. At least not yet anyway.

So as far as the scale I mentioned, give yourself a score between 1 and 10 with 1 being the best an 10 being the worst. Then ask yourself why you have given yourself that score, get really specific about it. Once you have done this ask why did I not give myself a lower or higher score? From here choose where you would like to be, it doesn't have to be the best just one or two places in the right direction are good. Now be specific again and write down what needs to happen that you can do for yourself to help you get there.

You can use this in a multitude of scenarios too, for example if you want to save some money or want to become fitter, you'll be surprised how well it works.

Where are you on the scale and what can you donto improve your score?

29/08/2021

Four lessons you will learn from the darkest moments in your life.

1. Who your friends are

It's a great feeling when someone says to you that they will be there for you come what may. When you do fall on hard times you’ll find it has a great way of de-cluttering your friends list. If someone doesn't care that much, they will make no effort to be around for you. When you realise that someone you once thought was a great person suddenly cuts you away it can hurt, but here's the thing the time and energy you have gained from not having to put the effort in too will be there when you need it for someone that does matter.

2. The depth of your strength.

It's a character-building exercise, well at least that's what I have been told. Funny thing is it is and it is what gets us through the toughest of times. It allows us to dig real deep into ourselves to find the resources that build strength, patience, integrity and resilience. The body keeps the score of the strength you build so that next time it is needed it is so much stronger so you keep on winning the battle

3. What really matters in life.

Going through difficult times tends to turn our worlds upside down and anything that is not nailed down to the floor will go flying. Sometimes it’s comforting to know what actually does stick, what is still hanging in there after the world has been torn apart because when your up the right way again, you'll be able to look a little more closely at those things, take a bit better care of them and love them even more for being unmovable.

Most of us spend most of our days worrying about everything but what we should be worrying about. But after a difficult time, we’re less likely to worry as much about the little things and focusing on those unmovable pieces in our life that really matter.

4. How to be grateful.

Going through difficult times leaves us with a lasting impression. They alter us and change the way we view our lives. We have learned who and what matters in our life and undoubtedly, we have a greater appreciation for them. Surviving hardship gives us a broader perspective on what hardship really is. You will look back on the things you use to complain about and be thankful they are your only worries. After surviving a difficult time, you are given a deep gratitude for life.

Going through difficult times happens. To find the light, you have to go through the darkness and while you’re in the midst of it, try to take a deep breath and remember that the lessons you are learning will shift your view of life. You will learn what matters, who matters, how strong you are and how lucky you are to exist.

That’s what going through difficult times teaches us and they are some of the most important lessons we can ever learn.

25/07/2021

07/07/2021

https://neilchestercoaching.com/test-2/

My friend has told me they’re not okay……what now? by Neil Chester | Jul 6, 2021 | Men's Mental Health | 0 comments When one of your friends or family tell you that they are not feeling Okay and they then share with you the reasons why, it can send you into a panic of what do I do now? With a g...

20/05/2021

Before he died, a father said to his son; “Here is a watch that your grandfather gave me. It is almost 200 years old. Before I give it to you, go to the jewelry store downtown. Tell them that I want to sell it, and see how much they offer you."

The son went to the jewelry story, came back to his father, and said; "They offered £150.00 because it's so old."

The father said; “Go to the pawn shop."

The son went to the pawn shop, came back to his father, and said; "The pawn shop offered £10.00 because it looks so worn."

The father asked his son to go to the museum and show them the watch.

He went to the museum, came back, and said to his father; “The curator offered £500,000.00 for this very rare piece to be included in their precious antique collections."

The father said; “I wanted to let you know that the right place values you in the right way. Don't find yourself in the wrong place and get angry if you are not valued. Those that know your value are those who appreciate you, don't stay in a place where nobody sees your value."

Know your worth.

08/05/2021

The “HOPE” Experiment :

During a brutal study at Harvard in the 1950s, Dr. Curt Richter placed rats in a pool of water to test how long they could tread water.

On average they'd give up and sink after 15 minutes.

But right before they gave up due to exhaustion, the researchers would pluck them out, dry them off, let them rest for a few minutes - and put them back in for a second round.

In this second try - how long do you think they lasted?

Remember - they had just swam until failure only a few short minutes ago...

How long do you think?

Another 15 minutes?

10 minutes?

5 minutes?

No!

60 hours!

That's not an error.

That's right! 60 hours of swimming.

The conclusion drawn was that since the rats BELIEVED that they would eventually be rescued, they could push their bodies way past what they previously thought impossible.

I will leave you with this thought:

If hope can cause exhausted rats to swim for that long, what could a belief in yourself and your abilities, do for you?

*Remember what you’re capable of. Remember why you’re here.

05/05/2021

I am as guilty as the next man, clinging onto the past, repeating things I have done trying to get a different result

A path with no ending, a vicious cycle of where the f**k is this going. The day I realised that I'd been stuck was the day my marriage collapsed.

I won't lie even though I could see it coming, it still hit me like a tonne of bricks.

BUT it was in that same moment that I realised I'd been playing out the same story for years. This was not the first time she'd walked out. I would always play it down and make it so that things were back to normal again.

Here is what I know to be true, what I'd been doing simply repeating myself wasn't going to work. I felt trapped in a situation and going insane, the only way I could break this was to let it go, accept and take responsibility for myself, own my future.

Taking the lead changed my whole mindset and for once after 14 years I felt free, free from the ever revolving world that was leading nowhere.

05/05/2021