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Wassail Wellbeing Therapies, Green Lane, Doncaster (2025)

26/04/2025

“Every forest branch moves differently in the breeze,
but as they sway they connect at the roots.”
- Rumi

The Green Man, 🌳🌳💚🌿☘️🍀🌳🌳💚
a figure representing the spirit of vegetation and the renewing power of nature,
is intricately woven into the fabric of Beltane celebrations.

Symbolizing growth,
rebirth,
and the cyclic nature of life,
this emblematic figure captures the essence of Beltane,
a festival that heralds spring’s peak and summer onset.

23/04/2025

Time-tested therapies beat meds long term
Long-established therapies are more effective than antidepressants in the long term, suggests a meta-analysis reported in American Psychologist.

A researcher analyzed more than 1,000 randomized studies of psychological treatment of depression.

He found that therapies,
regardless of the format (provided a human was involved in delivering them),
are as effective as antidepressants in the short term but more effective in the long term.

In addition, combined treatment is more effective than either alone in the short and long term.

However, not all therapies are effective in every patient,
and,
in general,
most therapies are somewhat less effective in children,
adolescents, primary-care patients (compared with those who received specialized outpatient mental health treatment),
and in patients with comorbid substance use disorder.

Additionally,
no therapy introduced over the past 50 years was found to be more effective than treatments that came before.

Based on these findings,
the researcher cautioned against adopting new therapies too quickly and recommended other innovations resulting in better outcomes,
such as sequential treatments,
increased session frequency,
and better matching between patient need and therapist expertise.

DOI: 10.1037/amp0001387

16/04/2025

YOUR BODY KEEPS THE SCORE

Your skin is your scroll.

Your bones are your record.

Your cells are your confession.

You can lie to your friends.
You can fake a smile.
You can drown it in busyness or bury it in silence.

But your body never lies.
Every ache.
Every rash.
Every tight muscle and sleepless night—
it’s speaking.

• That tight chest?
Grief unspoken.
• That jaw clench?
Rage suppressed.
• That gut churn?
Fear you’ve refused to face.
• That fatigue?
The cost of living in denial.

EMOTION IS NOT JUST ENERGY—IT’S MEMORY.

Unfelt feelings don’t disappear.
They relocate.
They embed.
They calcify in the fascia,
in the nervous system,
in the breath you don’t take.

Every unresolved wound becomes a whisper in your spine,
a scream in your stomach,
a story written in your immune system.

Pain is not the enemy—it’s a messenger.

THE BODY AS ORACLE

Your body is not betraying you.
It’s fighting to get your attention.
To tell the truth your mouth won’t say.

It doesn’t need more medication—it needs your awareness.
It doesn’t need to be silenced—it needs to be heard.

HOW TO LISTEN:
1. Get Still.
Drop beneath thought. Let the body speak.

2. Ask it.
Where are you holding this emotion?
What do you need from me right now?

3. Feel.

Don’t fix.
You don’t need to change it.
You need to let it be felt.

Fully.
Raw.
Without judgment.

4. Express.
Cry. Move.
Shake.
Breathe.
Get it out of storage and into flow.

EVERY CELL IS A CHOIR

And it’s either singing in harmony or screaming in pain.

• You are not just a mind in a body.
• You are a soul writing scripture into flesh.

So choose your thoughts like prayers.

Feel your emotions like messengers.
Treat your body like the sacred vessel it is.

You don’t just carry trauma—
You become the altar where it’s transfigured.

Let the body tell the truth.
Let the body finally rest.
Let the body become a temple again.

Because yes—
the body keeps the score…
but it also holds the key to freedom.🤲👍

03/04/2025

Sometimes,
what seems like the end is actually a new beginning.

Look at this picture.

A caterpillar,
small and low to the ground,
but its shadow tells a different story.

It shows what’s to come—the butterfly it will become one day.

Life is like that.

We go through hard times, moments when we feel stuck,
lost, or unsure of what’s next.

It might feel like everything is falling apart like we’ve reached a dead end.

But maybe, just maybe, this is not the end at all.

Maybe it’s the start of something new, something beautiful we just can’t see yet.

Growth takes time.
Change can be scary.
But even when we can’t see it yet, transformation is happening.

One day, we’ll look back and realize that the struggle was part of the journey.

That the moment we thought was the end was actually the beginning of something greater.

Hold on. Keep going. Your wings are coming. 🦋📿🪬🌸✨⚡️💫⭐️🌒🌓🌔🌻

28/03/2025

Have you ever felt like a fraud?

Like maybe you don't belong or that your friends or colleagues will discover your incompetence?

You're not alone.
Many people have experienced something called “imposter syndrome” at some point in their lives.

Imposter syndrome is an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you. While this syndrome is not a diagnostic classification, but rather a group of thoughts, behaviors, and feelings, it can significantly impact your emotional functioning.

In the book Own Your Greatness, authors Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin and Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin developed the
3 C’s:

Clarify,
Choose,
and Create strategy

that may help you to get rid of imposter syndrome and overcome self-doubt.

First phase: Clarify
If you have imposter syndrome,
it’s more than likely that you repeat negative stories to yourself. You might think you're incompetent, and you’re probably not able to experience an internal feeling of success.

In the Clarify phase, you have an opportunity to tell yourself a different story. Start by using these tools:

Clarify Tool #1: Understand your origin story
By gaining insight, you can begin to understand the possible root causes of imposter syndrome. Try answering the following questions:

When did you first become aware of the imposter’s feelings?

Was your sibling or close family member deemed as the “intelligent” member of the family?

Did your parents convince you that you were superior?

Is achievement, especially in academic or professional settings, highly valued in your family?

Clarify Tool #2:
Know your triggers

The next step is identifying the situations which increase your imposter syndrome feelings.
One of the most typical triggers are:
You are placed in a new situation.

For example, if you are promoted to a new position, you may start to doubt your ability to handle the new role.You got a compliment. Your impostor syndrome thoughts might lead you to believe that the person is “just being nice.”You started a new relationship.

You may doubt how much your new partner values you or cares about you.

Clarify Tool #3:
Write an expressive letter
When you reflect and realize where the initial feeling of fraudulence or incompetence comes from,
try writing a letter to the person you see as integral to the development of your imposter syndrome.

The letter should be handwritten.
Do not censor yourself.Include a statement of forgiveness.

Read the letter out loud to someone you trust.

Destroy the letter.
Writing an expressive letter can be a powerful tool to let go and move forward, and that’s what you need to do before you take on the next step.

Second phase: Choose
The Choose phase is about taking actionable steps to get rid of imposter syndrome. It involves speaking your truth, recognizing your strengths, silencing negative thoughts, and combating perfectionism.

Choose Tool #1: Speak your truth
When you experience imposter syndrome, that feeling is often experienced in solitude. You might feel like you're the only one going through this, and therefore, no one will understand.

Try to weaken the imposter syndrome symptoms by speaking your truth and getting more support to battle it.

Admit and verbalize your imposter syndrome anxieties and fears to someone you trust. Let that person know what triggers you.

Make him or her your accountability partner. Think about how often you want them to reach out to you. How will your accountability partner keep track of your thoughts or behaviors?

Choose Tool #2: Recognize your strengths
It's essential to acknowledge your efforts and their results – even those you might have considered minor in the past.

Name three hidden accomplishments that you have not discussed, shared, or identified before.

Describe the skills that you used to meet those accomplishments.
If you feel stuck, ask a trusted family member or friend for some ideas to get you started.

Name your strengths.
Add the reasons why you have dismissed these strengths in the past.

Choose Tool #3: Silence automatic negative thoughts

Automatic negative thoughts are beliefs that immediately come to your consciousness when triggered.
They serve to diminish your self-confidence and abilities. Try silencing negative thoughts by asking yourself the following questions:
What evidence leads me to make a pessimistic prediction?

When was the last time such a negative prediction came true?

What is the cost or benefit of labeling myself negatively?

What is the data to support my interpretation of what someone is thinking of me?

What leads me to have a negative conclusion about what someone is thinking about me?
How appropriate is it to compare myself to another person?
What might make such a comparison unfair or inaccurate?

If I am not perfect, am I truly a fraud? Are there other ways to look at the situation? Are there shades of gray that I should consider? If so, what are they?

Choose Tool #4: Combat perfectionism
When dealing with imposter syndrome, you might feel that you have no room for mistakes. You begin to think that the only option is to work more and strive for perfection, and that can lead to exhaustion and burnout.

To combat your perfectionism and shift your mindset, consider the following strategies:
Focus on “good enough” not “perfect”.

Be proud and accepting of your humanity.
Only compare yourself to you.

Ease the unrealistic standards.
Appreciate mistakes because they provide opportunities for growth.

Realize that perfection is unattainable, and reaching for it will make you feel like a failure (which you’re not).

When the perfectionist feels like a fraud
In one study, researchers examined the relationship between perfectionism and the imposter syndrome.

The research participants were psychology students who completed self-report questionnaires.
The questionnaires consisted of items to be rated on a five-point Likert scale, ranging from 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree).

They were the Perfectionism Inventory (PI) and the Clance Imposter Phenomenon Scale (CIPS).

The PI is a measure of perfectionism that consists of 8 dimensions: concern over mistakes, high standards for others, need for approval, organization, parental pressure, planfulness, rumination, and striving for excellence.

CIPS is a measure of the degree to which one tends to think like an imposter and reflects the frequency of imposter syndrome symptoms.

The study showed that perfectionism and imposter syndrome often go hand-in-hand. Specifically, results showed that imposter syndrome seems related to perfectionistic tendencies associated with self-evaluation but not those related to conscientiousness. The self-evaluative aspects of perfectionism most related to imposter syndrome were: concern over mistakes, need for approval, and rumination.

Final phase: Create
The Create phase focuses on designing the conditions for your optimal performance.

Create Tool #1: Experiment with new roles
Out of fear of being exposed as a fraud, you might wind up being locked into a very limited dynamic in your work and personal relationships.

Try experimenting with new roles.

For example, if you’re usually the one trying to help people, try asking your friends for advice with a minor problem at work instead.

Taking on new or different roles can broaden your perspective.
That way, you can combat your imposter syndrome components that are less creative and flexible, and enforce rigidity, vulnerability, and lack of visibility.

Create Tool #2: Establish your dream team
Imposter syndrome might make you think that you should do things without help. But you don't have to do everything on your own for success to be legitimate.

In fact, the solitary nature often induces negative thoughts and behaviors. Consider teaming up with people who can help you get rid of self-doubt:

Find a mentor who can provide guidance and a nudge as you combat imposter syndrome. The mentor should be a senior to you in their accomplishments and good at giving constructive feedback.

Consider a therapist. In some cases, one of the most important team members should be a clinically trained therapist.

Especially in the beginning,
when you're trying to establish healthy habits and skills.

The goal is to have someone who will help you to put things in perspective. Someone who will make sure that doubt doesn't control your actions.

Summary
Imposter syndrome can feed feelings of anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and frustration.

By following the 3C'S strategy (Clarify, Choose, and Create) you may ease the symptoms and gain control over your life.

First phase: Clarify

Clarify Tool #1: Understand your origin story
Clarify Tool #2: Know your triggers
Clarify Tool #3: Write an expressive letter

Second phase: Choose
Choose Tool #1: Speak your truth
Choose Tool #2: Recognize your strengths
Choose Tool #3: Silence automatic negative thoughts

Choose Tool #4: Combat perfectionism

Final phase: Create
Create Tool #1: Experiment with new roles
Create Tool #2: Establish your dream team

If you still have imposter syndrome thoughts and feelings, don't get discouraged. The goal is not to never feel like a fraud –

the goal is to get tools and insights to talk yourself down faster.

And while you may have an imposter moment, you can still have a successful life.

20/03/2025

In my therapeutic work, i sometimes delve in to a certain therapy called Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help people understand themselves better.

IFS is based on the idea that we all have different “parts” inside us,
each with its own role, and at our core, we have Self Energy, the calm,
confident, and compassionate leader of our inner world.

IFS teaches that inside us, there are three main elements:

📣 Self – This is the real you, your core, your essence. When you’re in Self, you feel calm, compassionate, and clear. Self is the leader of your system.

📣 Protectors – These parts step in when they think you need defending.
They show up as anger,
judgement, or the urge to prove a point.
They try to protect you from feeling deeper pain.

📣 Exiles –
These are the wounded parts of you, often carrying pain from past experiences.

Protectors work hard to keep these parts hidden so you don’t have to feel the hurt.

When we’re operating from Self Energy, we embody what IFS calls the 8 C’s:
• Calmness
• Curiosity
• Compassion
• Confidence
• Clarity
• Courage
• Connectedness
• Creativity

This really matters when we are connecting using social media because right now, I see so many people blended with protector parts online. They read a post and react instantly, getting angry, defensive, or judgemental feeling they have the right to respond, which anyone does but in the most cruel and angry way.

This isn’t coming from Self, it’s coming from a protector part that feels the need to defend, attack,
or prove something.

We can have opinions without attacking others.
Shock horror!!
Yes, it’s true!!!

We actually can!!!

I read things online that I don’t agree with, but I don’t feel the need to force my view aggressively.

That’s because my Self is leading,
not a protector part.

Does that mean I don’t have strong opinions? No.

Does that mean I don’t respect different viewpoints? No.

It just means I can hold my views without judgement,
anger,
or needing to be “right”.

Usually underneath that online rage is pain and hurt. That doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to have an opinion,
it means HOW you communicate that. So much of the hatred, anger, and division we see online is really pain in disguise.

When someone lashes out, it’s often because something deep inside them has been triggered.

They are blended with a protector part, trying to shield themselves from discomfort.

I respect personal choices on big issues.
For example, I believe both men and women can be victims of abuse.
I don’t think all men are dangerous. (Or narcissists!!!!)

Just because I have an opinion doesn’t mean I don’t respect yours.

But let’s express our views from a place of Self Energy.

When we have self led conversations, it’s so powerful.
Why are we always pushed to pick a side?
Why does talking about one issue mean we’re ignoring others?

If we all engaged from Self,
we’d have fewer online battles.

We wouldn’t feel the need to attack, prove a point, or villainise people for their views.

So, before you comment on a post, pause and ask yourself:

❓ Am I responding from a place of Self—with calmness, curiosity, and compassion?

❓ Or am I blended with a protector part that feels the need to be right, judge, or attack?

If it’s the latter, get curious. Ask yourself:
Why is this post triggering me?

What part of me feels threatened, dismissed, or unseen?

This is YOUR stuff not theirs!!!

Your reaction isn’t just about the post, it’s an opportunity to learn about yourself.

Have your opinion,
but check in on where you are responding from.

Anger is a protector part.⚡️

Judgement is a protector part.🛡️

The need to “win” is a protector part.🥇

My wish is that we could all bring more Self Energy into the world. 🙎🏻‍♀️

Because every time we do,
even in the smallest way,
it makes a difference. 🦋

Let’s lead with Self. 💚🌿☘️🌈🪬

20/03/2025

Sometimes we all need a bit of a magic session ☘️🌿💚🌈💫💚

20/03/2025

Autism Masking: Understanding and Supporting

Autism masking is a coping strategy many autistic individuals use to fit into social expectations.

This can involve mimicking others, hiding special interests, forcing eye contact,
or suppressing natural behaviors like stimming.

While masking may help avoid social rejection,
it is often exhausting and can lead to anxiety, stress, and autistic burnout.

💡 How can we better support autistic individuals?

By creating accepting environments where they can be themselves without pressure to conform.

This table provides practical strategies to recognize autism masking and offer effective support in classrooms, at home, and in the workplace.

📢 Let’s raise awareness together!

Sharing this information helps foster a better understanding of autism and promotes true inclusion.

30/01/2025

Looks like boundaries until they are broken.

Feels like safety until you are injured.

Keeps you up at night

Because in your heart you know what is right.

Red flags, broken promises, and lies.

This isn’t the great love I had in mind.
I’m not here to mother or psychoanalyze.

You took my love and bastardized it.

You were supposed to keep me safe,
protect,
and evolve while at my side.

Turns out your strength was just another one of your lies.
We could talk it out but you would judge my words harmful.

My feelings a moot point.
Instead of making up for things,
another empty promise,

You’ve terrorized my health,
my sanity,
and my place to sleep at night.

Loving you is starting to feel a lot like hating me.

Another form of self harm and misery.
The only way out is through.

I’m just not sure I can actually survive you.

-Stasha Strange

27/01/2025

As a therapist & catastrophizer ,

I’ve seen how catastrophic thinking—a mental loop where the worst-case scenario feels inevitable—
can weigh heavily on people.

It steals your peace, distorts your perspective, and traps you in a cycle of fear and anxiety.

But here’s the good news:
you can escape this cycle.

What is Catastrophic Thinking?

It’s when our minds default to imagining the worst possible outcome in any situation.

For instance:
• “If I make a mistake at work, I’ll lose my job.”

• “If my partner doesn’t reply, they must be upset with me.”

These thoughts often spiral into panic, leaving us feeling helpless.

Why Do We Do It?

Catastrophic thinking is often rooted in fear, past traumas, or a deep desire to protect ourselves from future pain.

While it may feel overwhelming, this mental habit doesn’t define you—it’s just a pattern your brain has learned over time.

5 Steps to Break Free

1. Pause and Breathe:

When catastrophic thoughts arise, pause and take slow, deep breaths.

This calms your nervous system and creates space between the thought and your reaction.

2. Reality-Check the Thought:

Ask yourself:
• What evidence supports this thought?
• What evidence contradicts it?
Often, catastrophic thoughts aren’t as factual as they feel.

3. Focus on the Present:
Anxiety thrives on “what ifs.”
Redirect your attention to the present moment by grounding yourself—name five things you see,
hear,
or feel right now.

4. Reframe the Narrative:
Replace “I’ll never recover if this happens” with “It might be challenging, but I’ve faced hard things before and grown stronger.”

5. Seek Support:
Sharing your fears with someone you trust—a friend, therapist, or mentor—can offer new perspectives and reassurance.

You’re Not Alone

Catastrophic thinking is a common experience, but it doesn’t have to control your life.

Growth begins when you start recognizing these patterns and choosing to respond differently.

Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate fear altogether—it’s to build resilience and take back your peace.

If you’re struggling with catastrophic thinking,

I invite you to take one small step today.

Whether it’s journaling your thoughts, seeking professional help,
or simply pausing to breathe—
you’re moving closer to freedom.

Let’s start escaping the cycle,
one thought at a time. 🌳💚🌿🍃

26/01/2025

“After storms,
I walk the winter garden.

In bone-time,
I see the world’s structure . . .
the way the light falls on open boughs,
what it reveals of the past,
the future. . .

I walk the woodland path.
Without distraction of hope,
I see what is ending,
ready to die.

The tilting willow, about to relax into death. The great old maple that soon will fall.

Then my throat will tighten,
my eyes flood.

Now I look without bitterness at the past,
the future.

No regrets.
Only seeds.
Everywhere,
seeds.

The past, the future.
At the road,
burdock holds up pointed fists.

Beneath, yarrow stands,
erect small soldiers. Grass catches wind,
swooning to the ground and springing back.

Rose hips gleam,
and the last red firethorn.

The special beauty of waiting.

Patience and reserve.
Proud bearing, infinite vulnerability.

Things seen for what they are.

Dark shadow on the snow;
above me crow calls”

~ Patricia Monaghan, Seasons of the Witch

Wassail Wellbeing Therapies

26/04/2025

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