http://www.feelhealexpresstherapy.co.uk/

Feel, Heal, Express Therapy, Edinburgh (2025)

09/02/2024

WHAT IS SELF-CARE:

Self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact.

Self-care is vital for everyone to build resilience towards stresses of life that you can’t eliminate. When you’ve taken steps to care for your mind and body, you’ll be better equipped to live your best life and thrive.

Unfortunately, many people view self-care as a luxury, rather than a priority in life. The consequences, they’re left feeling overwhelmed, tired, and ill-equipped to handle life inevitable challenges.

Different Types of Self-Care:

1) Physical Self Care
2) Social Self-Care
3) Mental Self-Care
4) Spiritual Self-Care
5) Emotional Self-Care

Five Strategies for Self-Care:

1) Exercise
2) Meditation and mindfulness
3) Goal setting
4) Diet and gut health
5) Sleep

Why is Self-Care Important (Benefits) and should be a priority:

1) Reduces anxiety and depression
2) Reducing stress and improving resilience
3) Improving Happiness
4) Increased energy
5) Reducing burnout
6) Strong interpersonal relationships

We as individuals are responsible for our own mental health and wellbeing, it takes time and commitment.

It may not be easy for everyone to develop a self-care plan. So, if you are finding it difficult to manage or work out a routine and if you need support feel free to contact me.

09/01/2024

What is Psychological Trauma?

Psychological trauma is the unique individual experience of
an event or enduring conditions, in which:

The individual’s ability to integrate his/her emotional experience is
overwhelmed, or the individual experiences a threat to life, bodily
integrity or sanity.

A psychological, emotional response to an event or an experience that is deeply distressing or disturbing.

Examples of Worldwide Trauma:

Wars Around the World

World Disasters – Financial Crisis, Wildfire, Floods and Cost Of Living Crisis

Governments and fake news – Psychological warfare

Examples of UK Trauma:

Brexit Fallout

COVID Crisis

Governments and fake news

UK Recession – Food Banks and Energy Crisis

New Laws and Regulation

Personal Trauma:

Health Scare – Terminal Illness

Domestic / Sexual Abuse

Childhood Trauma

Financial Difficulties

Relationship / Friendship breakdowns

Alcohol & Drug abuse

Impact of Trauma:

Panic attacks
Poor sleep and disturbing dreams
Feeling haunted by memories
Waiting for the worst to happen
Avoidance of reminders of the trauma
Feeling irritable or "at the end of your tether"
Isolation and withdrawal from people and social situations
Feeling numb or empty
A loss of trust in people
Feeling that your work performance is suffering

20/12/2023

Counselling is a talking therapy that involves a trained therapist listening to you and helping you find ways to deal with emotional issues.

Talking therapies can help all sorts of people in lots of different situations. You may also hear them referred to as counselling, talking treatments or psychological therapies.

Talking therapy is for anyone who's going through a bad time or has emotional problems they need help with.

For many adults it may be the same or more effective than medicine.

Counselling can help with:

Depression
Anxiety
Low self-esteem
Anger
Loss & Bereavement
Relationship Breakdown
Work Related Stress
Cost Of Living Crisis
Addictions
Other Issues

What I Provide:

• Safe Environment
• Self-awareness – reflection
• Relationship of Trust
• Agreed boundaries & confidentiality.
• Agreement with a qualified professional
• Untangling difficult experiences, getting guidance from a professional

• Empathy
• Warmth
• Acceptance and respect
• Understanding
• Genuineness
• Giving full attention
• Non-verbal communication
• Equal
• Non-judgemental
• No limits
• Being heard

All about YOU

20/12/2023

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, in short is known as (CBT). (CBT) is the marriage of two separate strands of psychotherapy: behaviourism and cognitive theory.

CBT is based on a straightforward, common-sense model of the relationships among cognition, emotion, and behaviour.” The three aspects of cognition focused on in CBT are automatic thoughts, cognitive distortions, and underlying beliefs or schemas.

By addressing these three thought concepts, the ability to adjust the associated behaviours becomes more possible.

(CBT) tools help to identify the problem and identify where the negative thoughts/feelings are coming from and help to provide a solution to their negative way of thinking.

There are various tools and techniques that the therapist will use, and that the client can use as coping strategies to help them while at home when experiencing negative thoughts and feelings.

Three form of negative thinking - negative view of self, world and future.

1) Negative self-schemas - Traumatic childhood experiences, death of parent sibling, rejection, criticism or bullied and excluded from peers.

2) Errors in Logical thinking

3) Negative thoughts will persist even in the face of contrary evidence, this failure to pay attention properly is known as faulty information processing.

Identifying and correcting faulty thinking:

1) Challenging and understanding irrational believes.

2) Recognise the automatic thoughts, that might be harmful or unhealthy.

3) Evaluate them and then challenge them into more healthy ones.

20/12/2023

Effects of emotional abuse on the brain:

Long-term emotional abuse can potentially impact your brain, especially if the abuse happened during childhood when the brain is still developing.

These are some of the ways research suggests emotional abuse can impact your brain:

• Emotional understanding and empathy. Early emotional abuse could cause changes to the hippocampus that make it harder to empathize with the emotions of others.

• Self-awareness. Emotional abuse is linked Trusted Source to thinning of certain areas of the brain that help you manage emotions and be self-aware — especially the prefrontal cortex and temporal lobe.

• Epigenetic changes and depression. Research from 2018 has connected childhood abuse to epigenetic Trusted Source brain changes that may cause depression. Epigenetic refers to how your environment and behaviors affect your genes.

In particular, the study found changes to certain genes in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which is an area of the brain that’s involved in the stress response.

20/12/2023

What is journaling?

Journaling is simply the act of informal writing as a regular practice. Journals take many forms and serve different purposes, some creative some personal.

Writers keep journals as a place to record thoughts, practice their craft, and catalogue ideas as they occur to them. Journals are often a place for unstructured free writing, but sometimes people use writing prompts (also known as journaling prompts).

Many non-writers keep journals to record the day-to-day events in their own lives, process stressful events, problem-solve, or keep to-do lists. Another popular form of journal is a gratitude journal.

Gratitude journaling is a journaling experience meant to take stock of the positive things in your life in order to boost your self-esteem and improve your overall well-being. No matter what type of journal you keep, it’s a great way to force yourself to start writing and engage in a process of self-improvement.

What are the benefits of Journalling:

Journaling for Anxiety:

Journaling has proven popular and effective for treating clients experiencing anxiety, possibly because of an improved acceptance of negative emotions and a more helpful emotional response to stress.

One meta-review of research studies suggests that journaling may be a more effective treatment for anxiety in women than men (yet both groups have a positive effect) and that doing so for longer than 30 days may maximize mental wellbeing benefits.

Journaling for Depression:

Research suggests that expressive writing and gratitude journaling can reduce symptoms of depression, providing an effective intervention for clients receiving treatment in therapy.

As with anxiety, such interventions also appeared more effective when lasting longer than 30 days.

While benefits may not be as great as for anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), journaling still appears to be a valuable intervention.

Journaling for Stress Management:

Journaling can support coping and reduce the impact of stressful events – potentially avoiding burnout and chronic anxiety. Studies link writing privately about stressful events and capturing thoughts and emotions on paper with decreased mental distress.

When journaling for stress management, processing our emotions in written form may even increase the likelihood that we reach out for social support. This, in turn, leads to emotional healing and improved resilience to stress.

Journaling for Reflection:

When stressed or consumed by negative thoughts, it’s difficult to view our situation objectively. Writing in a journal can help us create the space and distance needed to reflect on what has happened, where we are, and what is ahead.

Journaling may create sufficient cognitive defusion–looking at thoughts rather than being in them–to create the separation needed to accept our feelings and commit to the changes we need to make.

Journaling for Recovery:

Research suggests that journaling, particularly expressive writing, can help those experiencing or recovering from the emotional trauma associated with PTSD.

Benefits of Journaling for Memory:

Not only is the journal your personal ‘external hard disk’ with all of your thoughts, opinions, events, or ideas stored in one place, but it can also improve your own memory.

Writing improves our ability to temporarily store and use various information, or better say, it improves our working memory. It’s about extending our capacities to receive new information, retrieve the existing knowledge, connect them, and work with them.

The process of writing means constantly employing our working memory which is essential for performing any given task.

To sum it up—journaling helps you free up space in your own memory while enhancing your operating capacities at the same time. How neat, right?

Despite the clear benefits of journaling for easing distress, we are often less willing to capture how we feel on paper when we are struggling the most.

After all, it’s not always pleasant. We are revisiting thoughts and emotions that we may have been avoiding. In fact, we may feel sad, upset, guilty, or anxious immediately after time spent writing. And yet, in the long term, journaling offers us better psychological and physical health.

We should explain to the client that expressive writing can sometimes lead to short-term distress despite the long-term benefits. Clients should be encouraged to stop writing if they find no benefits or the practice is too distressing.

Science has shown that journaling can only bring you good things: improvements to your mental and physical health, memory, relationships, and productivity.

What’s most important—it doesn’t cost anything. All you need is a notebook and pen, or a journal app, and some motivation.

20/12/2023

What is Narcissism?

Narcissistic abuse typically involves emotional abuse via put-downs, accusations, criticism, or threats. A person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) may gaslight or contradict you in front of others.

Withholding money, silent treatments, isolation, and lying about you to others are other narcissistic manipulative techniques in their toolbox. The end goal of a narcissist is to control their victim’s behaviour so they can maintain their narcissistic supply.

Narcissistic abuse can be subtle, but this behaviour is serious. Over time, a narcissist can break a person down and significantly affect their overall functioning. If you think you’re in a toxic relationship, becoming aware of it is the first step.

Set clear boundaries, get professional help, and leave when you feel it’s safe to do so. Healing from abuse is possible. However, it takes time and can’t be done alone.

Traits a Narcissist Targets for Supply

Narcissists are very calculating in who they choose to be their supply. They are always looking for ways to feel better about themselves so they look for partners that can boost their ego in some way.

Seven common traits of narcissist supply include:

1. Empathetic

Narcissists lack any empathy, so they gravitate towards people who are caring and put other people before themselves. When a target is abused by a narcissist, they are manipulated into taking the narcissist’s side and believing that they are responsible for their partner’s hurtful words and actions.

2. Past Trauma

They like to target people who have trauma in their past or had difficult childhoods. They find what their target needs and then acts like a hero by fulfilling that need. Their goal is to not make their victim independent and powerful but to make them dependent thankful to the narcissist for saving them.

3. Lacking Boundaries

A narcissist does not like boundaries. They look for targets who are unable to set or maintain their boundaries. They use this to manipulate and transfer blame and accountability to their partners. They know you won’t tell them no and that they can easily control you.

4. Forgiving

An ideal target is a forgiving and caring person. They quickly and easily forgive the narcissist’s bad behavior and look past their negative traits. The forgiving target will make excuses for the narcissist and usually take the blame for the abuse.

5. Nurturing People Pleasers

They ideal target loves to take care of other people and is always counted on to help everyone. Since a narcissist must be the centre of attention and needs everything to be about them, a pleaser is the perfect target.

6. Willing to Accept Blame

A narcissist is never wrong and therefore never accepts responsibility for any hurtful or abusive words or actions. They need someone who will accept the blame and responsibility for everything even if they did nothing wrong. They make their target feel as if everything is their fault and redirects away from their own bad behaviour.

7. Avoids Confrontation

Narcissists thrive on drama. They like to cause it and be right in the middle of it. Of course, they never accept any accountability and love to play the victim. Their ideal target avoids conflict and confrontation and prefers to keep the peace or cause waves. This is perfect for the narcissist, they will not be challenged or confronted and allowed to act however they want with no repercussions.

20/12/2023

Su***de Awareness

Su***de is rarely caused by a single circumstance or event. Instead, a range of factors—at the individual, relationship, community, and societal levels—can increase risk.

These risk factors are situations or problems that can increase the possibility that a person will attempt su***de.

Individual Risk Factors

These personal factors contribute to risk:

• Previous su***de attempt
• Serious illness such as chronic pain
• Criminal/legal problems
• Job/financial problems or loss
• Impulsive or aggressive tendencies
• Substance use
• Current or prior history of adverse childhood experiences
• Sense of hopelessness
• Violence victimization and/or perpetration

Relationship Risk Factors

These harmful or hurtful experiences within relationships contribute to risk:

• Bullying
• Family/loved one’s history of su***de
• Loss of relationships
• High conflict or violent relationships
• Social isolation

Community Risk Factors

These challenging issues within a person’s community contribute to risk:

• Lack of access to healthcare
• Su***de cluster in the community
• Stress of acculturation
• Community violence
• Historical trauma
• Discrimination

Do you know the warning signs for su***de?

If someone is at risk for su***de, you can watch for warning signs, including:

• Talking about being a burden
• Being isolated
• Increased anxiety
• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
• Increased substance use
• Looking for a way to access lethal means
• Increased anger or rage
• Extreme mood swings
• Expressing hopelessness
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Talking or posting about wanting to die
• Making plans for su***de

20/12/2023

Domestic Abuse Against Men in Scotland:

My research topic Domestic Abuse (DA) against Men in Scotland, I had chosen this topic as I have personally experienced Domestic Abuse from a woman.

I initially wanted to do my research on narcissistic personality disorder, I couldn’t measure variables and outcomes. I would only be writing about my own personal experience.

When we talk about domestic violence, it is common that we think that the abuser is a man, the victim must be woman but is it the only pattern.

We look at (DA) against Men in Scotland the impact it can have, and the type of support male victims receive, and identify why male victims are often trapped in the situation because they are afraid of further abuse or ashamed to report it.

(DA) is defined by the UK government, any incident of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or s*xuality.

Psychological abuse:

involves causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner or children; destruction of pets and property; mind games ; or forcing isolation from friends, family, school or work.

Financial or economic abuse:

involves making or attempting to make a person financially dependent by maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, or forbidding attendance at school or employment.

Physical abuse:

involves hurting or trying to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, burning, grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hair-pulling, biting, denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use, or using other physical force.

Emotional abuse:

includes undermining a person's sense of self-worth through constant criticism; belittling one's abilities; name-calling or other verbal abuse; damaging a partner's relationship with the children; or not letting a partner see friends and family.

Sexual abuse:

involves forcing a partner to take part in a s*x act when the partner does not consent

Coercive control:

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour’s that enables someone to exert power over another person through fear and control.

Coercive control can happen in any type of intimate relationship, family members and includes behaviours such as acts of assaults, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish or frighten their victim.

• Isolating you from your support system, e.g. friends and family.
• Controlling your finances.
• Threatening you (sometimes physically)
• Monitoring your time.
• Monitoring your online life.
• Depriving you of basic needs, such as food, and of essential services such as medical attention.

Another type of Coercive behaviours is Legal and Administrative (LA) abuse, this form of abuse coercive control is when the female perpetrators use legal sources to undermine the male victim.

Legal and Administrative form of abuse is when the partner will use legal sources like the police, social services and courts to coercive the male victim to meet their demands and will use these sources to get the victim to comply.

Legal and Administrative abuse is more likely to be used by female perpetrators towards men as male victims who are experiencing domestic abuse by their partners is invisible to professionals working with domestic abuse

CHALLENGES

Psychological abuse is difficult to identify as it does not leave marks in the way physical abuse does. Abusers often deny their actions, insinuating that the victim imagined the abuse.

This is known as ‘gaslighting’ and is particularly toxic as it makes victims doubt their own perceptions and can lead to confusion and self-destructive behaviour.

FACT THAT MALE VICTIMS DON’T MATTER

Men experience difficulties in accessing help and support following an abusive experience and it has been identified in the following areas, personal, social and at service providers level, and men tend to conceal the truth from family/friend and coped by misusing substances alcohol and drugs.

Findings have also reported that men do not come forward to report the abusive experience due to concerns of discrimination and disbelief, sense of shame and the fear of potentially being arrested and supporting services not being effective.

Men who have highlighted concerns to the police have felt that the police themselves have treated male victims unfairly and would be accused of being perpetrators themselves.

Domestic abuse can seriously affect physical, emotional, mental and can be both chronic and acute in impact. Clinical indicators include:

Physical:

• contusions, abrasions, fractures, sprains
• injuries to head, neck, chest, breasts and abdomen
• internal injuries, unconsciousness
• repeated or chronic injuries
• loss of hearing or vision
• disfigurement
• chronic pain, ill health
• dental problems

Mental/ emotional:

• depression
• anxiety
• panic attacks
• somatic complaints
• eating disorders
• post-traumatic stress disorder
• alcohol or drug use
• self-harm, suicidal ideation
• attempted or completed su***de

These mental/emotional symptoms include low mood, low energy, poor self-image, self-worth or confidence, and inability to think clearly.

These symptoms can be easily misdiagnosed as mental illness, including anxiety depression and posttraumatic stress disorder.

Victims of DA are often prescribed anti-depressants as treatment.

However, this does not solve the root of the problem and only leads to a more compliant victim.

20/12/2023

Disability Awareness – Hearing Impairment

A disability can be defined as any injury, illness, or condition that makes it difficult for someone to do things that people without such an injury, illness, or condition can usually do.

A person who suffers from a disability can be said to be impaired, i.e. they are in a weakened state or condition.

For example, if a person is born with blindness in both eyes, their blindness is a disability they suffer from. They are therefore considered to be visually impaired.

Losing your ability to hear can put you at greater risk for developing mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression.

Reducing the psychological impact of hearing loss involves actively seeking medical treatment and finding emotional support.

What are the psychological effects of hearing loss?

Participating in everyday casual banter is not easy for those who don’t hear well. The individual might feel shame, awkwardness, and inadequacy because they’re not able to understand others or keep up with the discussion.

The inability to hear clearly can cause disorientation, leading the person to behave in socially unacceptable ways such as speaking out of turn—and this only heightens their embarrassment. Some might even experience paranoia and believe that others are talking about them.

Below are some other important ways in which hearing loss can influence mental health:

• Adults with hearing loss may become anxious about missing phone calls and alarms. They may worry about mishearing what others are saying to them or feel guilty about misunderstandings.

• The social exclusion and loneliness linked with hearing loss can predispose people to schizophrenia. This is thought to be caused by increased dopamine sensitivity.

• How does hearing loss affect the brain? The task of processing the sounds we hear helps our brain stay active. When you lose some or all of your hearing, the part of your brain that performs this task can atrophy (deteriorate). This can cause cognitive decline, which includes symptoms such as difficulty thinking and concentrating.

• Since hearing loss affects balance, it can cause avoidance of physical activity, which in turn may lead to depression.

• People who hear normally often assume that speaking loudly and repeating words is an appropriate response to an older adult with deafness. However, this behavior reinforces misconceptions that seniors with hearing loss are "slow." Internalizing this notion can intensify the emotional distress of losing one’s hearing.

Losing the ability to hear represents a significant loss. And like with any loss, it’s often followed by a grieving period. The grieving process may involve feelings like anger, resentment, sadness, and depression, followed ultimately by a sense of acceptance.

Hyperactivity:

Some people with hearing loss may appear to be constantly on the go. They may have trouble sitting still, or they may seem fidgety and restless. This behaviour is often a result of frustration, as these people may feel like they’re missing out on what’s going on around them.

Fatigue:

On the other end of the spectrum, some children with hearing loss may become fatigued easily. This is often because they have to work harder to listen, and they may not get enough rest if they’re constantly straining to hear.

Fatigue can lead to behaviour problems, so it’s important to make sure your child is getting enough sleep and taking breaks throughout the day.

Harassment:

Harassment is when someone is offended, shamed, or humiliated due to their disability.

Discrimination arising from disability:

This happens when someone is treated unfairly, not because of their disability itself, but because of something that’s a direct result of their disability.

Bullying can be:

• verbal
• emotional
• physical
• online (cyberbullying).

• verbal: name-calling, insulting, teasing, ridiculing

• emotional/indirect: ignoring or deliberately excluding, spreading rumours or nasty stories, turning friends against the individual, laughing at them or talking about them behind their back, taking, hiding or damaging their personal belongings, , using a feature of the individuals disability to bully them, e.g. deliberately making loud noises near a deaf person who is known to find loud noises unpleasant, creeping up on them from behind to scare them, deliberately making noise in their ear.

• physical: any physical contact which would hurt such as hitting, kicking, pinching, pushing, shoving, tripping up, pulling out hearing aids

• manipulation/controlling behaviour: using the child’s vulnerability as a way of controlling them or making them do something the bully wants them to do

Bullying:

Bullying is a topic that most people are familiar with. Chances are you’ve been exposed to it at some point in your life. Bullying can happen anywhere, at school, work, home, or in the community.

There are various types of bullying, including physical, verbal/emotional, and cyber bullying. It occurs when one intentionally and repetitively tries to bring someone down through means of verbal or physical attacks, humiliation, embarrassment, and so on.

Many deaf and hard of hearing individuals have experienced their fair share of bullying as it pertains to their deafness and hearing loss.

I have personally experienced physical, verbal bullying and a lot of it did pertain to my deafness. I was often called “deaf and dumb,” too sensitive and hard work, made fun of because I was the “deaf person in the room who couldn’t hear,” and left out because it was easier to exclude than to accommodate.

The list goes on. I was a victim of bullying for so long and decided I didn’t want to be a victim anymore.

20/12/2023

What is vulnerability?

Vulnerability can happen to anyone, at any time, and is often the result of several combined factors.

The are 4 key drivers which can cause vulnerability: Health, Life Events, Financial Resilience & Capability.

Health:

Health Conditions can severely affect our ability to carry out day to day tasks:

People may have:

• Physical Disability
• Severe or Long-Term Illness
• Hearing Impairment
• Visual Impairment
• Mental Health Condition
• Addiction
• Cognitive Disability

Life Events:

Throughout our lives, we’ll all be impacted by major events and situations.

Common life events include:

• Retirement
• Bereavement
• Income Shock
• Relationship Breakdown
• Domestic Abuse
• Caring Responsibilities

Financial Resilience:

Some people may be in a situation where they have low ability to withstand financial shocks.

The person might:

• Inadequate or Erratic Income
• Over Indebtedness
• Low Savings
• Low Emotional resilience

Capability:

Not everyone will have the same skills and capabilities as others.
People should be aware of vulnerable individuals, offer help when able to do so.

• Low Knowledge or confidence in managing health issues / problems
• English not their first language
• Older Population – poor or non-existent digital skills
• Learning Impairments

Long Term Health Conditions:

A long-term health condition, also known as a chronic illness, is one which lasts at least 3 months. Some long-term health conditions are curable, others may have period of remissions where it temporarily goes away and others are life-lasting.

An illness which is lifelong because it causes death is known as terminal illness.

Common chronic diseases include arthritis, asthma, cancer, pulmonary diseases, and hepatitis C.

Terminal Illness:

A terminal illness is a disease or condition which can’t be cured and is likely to lead to someone’s death. It’s sometimes called a life-limiting illness.

There isn’t a single list of illnesses which are terminal. Examples of some illnesses which can be terminal include advanced cancer, motor neurone disease, lung disease, advanced heart disease.
It’s important to know that someone with a terminal illness may live for days, weeks, months or sometimes years.

Poor Mental Health:

Finding it difficult to manage how we think, feel act to daily stresses could be a sign of poor mental health.

Poor mental health is common and having a continuous episode of poor mental health could indicate a mental health condition such as an anxiety disorder or depression.

Anxiety disorders are where people have regular or uncontrollable worries about things in everyday life. Depression is low mood that lasts for a long time and can affect everyday life.

Bereavement:

A bereavement is the death of a loved one. It could be a partner, family member or friend.

When someone is experiencing a bereavement, they will experience grief; the range of feelings and emotions we go through when there is a loss of a loved one.

There’s no time limit on how long someone may grieve for. People grieving will experience a range of physical and emotional processes and every bereavement is different.

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