23/02/2024
Some people have come across this term so much more recently, so I thought I'd share this as it's always helpful to know how to protect yourself and how to spot abusers...
What is a good example of public gaslighting in the media and public discourse?
What is an example of gaslighting?
Gaslighting is concisely defined as “manipulating someone by psychological means into doubting their own sanity.” You may sense that you are losing your grip on reality, you may feel crushed, you are frequently questioning yourself, your memory, your feelings, your perceptions. You may even think that you are going insane.
Forms of Gaslighting
There are no less than 11 ways in which this can be done:
They tell blatant lies.
They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof.
They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.
They wear you down over time.
Their actions do not match their words.
They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you.
They know confusion weakens people.
They project their own faults, weaknesses and misdemeanours onto their victim.
They try to align people against you.
They tell you and others that you are crazy.
They intimate to you that everyone else is a liar, and vice versa.
Gaslighting in Practice
Of course there are many, many ways that gaslighting is carried out in practice. The following list will give you some good ideas of the main types – from which there are numerous variations of the themes.
They move or remove items of yours – such as hiding your keys, removing and disposing of your favourite clothes, moving your bookmarker etc.
They discredit you by making others think that you are unhinged, irrational, unstable, depressed.
They carry out their gaslighting with a mask of confidence, assertiveness and/or fake compassion to undermine your sense of reality, and reinforce their versions, ideas and wishes.
They will change the subject, or at least the focus of the conversation, so as to prevent you establishing and asserting your reality.
They will minimalise your version of the truth, and indeed trivialise your right to be heard and understood.
They will refuse to acknowledge or accept your thoughts and feelings.
They will deny the truth, and with conviction.
They will reframe reality with subtle twists that often include elements of fact mixed in with falsities
Gaslighting is when someone tries to change your perception of reality. Basically tries to alter your thoughts to make you think you are going crazy. Or you remembered it wrongly. Because, in their opinion, what you heard, or witnessed, you actually didn't hear or witness. The intent is to make you doubt yourself. They twist the details of your conversation to fit their agenda, they attempt to back themselves up by using their version against you and may even have accomplices wading in on the predatory pack mentality behaviour in groups offering further gaslighting or bullying. This can often be seen in work settings or on social media when several people who may even already have rehearsed scenarios, attempt to attack another's opinion. Once they are called out, or confronted they try to become 'the victim' and bring in as many half truths as possible in an attempt to cast doubt in their victims minds but more specifically, to also negate them often to others witnessing the scenario. Once they are exposed, they do not like it and behind the scenes or victim's back will continue to undermine them by pulling down their character and credentials. Many varied professional people from psychotherapists to doctors specialising in extreme mental health disorders associate gaslighters with certain personality and mental health disorders, such as narcissistic personality disorders. Unfortunately these people seldom accept responsibility for their own mental health disorders and often get actively aggressive or passively aggressive, when exposed or cornered.
