State of Mind Counselling

24/12/2025

As the year draws to a close, these shorter days often invite a natural slowing down—a chance to pause and reflect on everything that’s unfolded. The experiences that have shaped you, the joys that lifted you, and yes, the losses and changes that asked you to stretch in ways you never expected.
Life has a way of prompting us to re-evaluate what’s working and what’s not, doesn’t it? It’s okay—more than okay—to acknowledge the things that have been weighing you down, the habits or thoughts you’ve outgrown, and to gently consider letting them go. Not with force, but with kindness toward yourself.
Instead of piling on grand New Year’s resolutions, perhaps there’s wisdom in asking: What am I ready to release? What old patterns, doubts, or emotions are no longer serving me? And on the flip side—what new growth, perspectives, or ways of being am I quietly ready to welcome in?
There’s a truth worth sitting with: “Nothing grows in safety.” It’s a little uncomfortable, but real growth almost always asks us to step into the unknown, to trust the messy, uncertain process even when the path ahead isn’t clear.
As you move through this holiday season—however you celebrate, or even if you don’t—may you find moments of real peace, comfort, and joy in whatever way feels most authentic to you. No pressure to perform happiness; just space to feel what you feel.
And may the new year bring you the clarity to see what needs to stay and what needs to go, the courage to act on it, and the openness to receive whatever quiet transformation is waiting for you.
With warmth and gratitude for this wild year—wishing you light in the days ahead.

emotionalwellbeing intentionalliving quietmoments endofyearreflection

07/10/2025

08/03/2025

Have you experienced sexual violence?

Are you uncertain whether what happened to you qualifies as sexual violence and need someone who can help clarify your experience in a way you can understand?

Do you seek a non-judgmental space where you can have an open conversation with someone who truly listens?

Join Lobna and Rabiya, in a safe and supportive environment, where they can provide the assistance you need or simply offer a compassionate ear to remind you that you matter and you are not alone.

15/01/2025

Kent and Medway Men’s Independent Domestic Abuse Advice Service (MIDAAS) - https://www.lookahead.org.uk/male-domestic-abuse-advise-service/

Today we celebrate International Men's Day, and appreciate men and the contribution they make to society. We spoke to staff from our male domestic abuse serv...

22/07/2024

Embracing the Struggle: Lessons in Resilience and Growth

Watching in Margate this weekend, we are reminded that in the raw, pulsating world of IDLES' music, we find a powerful message about mental health and personal growth. As Joe Talbot, the band's frontman, reminds us, life's challenges are not just obstacles to overcome, but opportunities for transformation.

The Courage to Be Vulnerable
At the heart of healing lies vulnerability. It's easy to build walls, to hide our pain behind a facade of strength. But true strength, as IDLES' lyrics often suggest, comes from openness. In the words of renowned therapist Brené Brown, "Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome."

Embracing the Darkness
Grief, anger, sadness - these emotions are not enemies to be vanquished, but vital parts of our human experience. As Talbot candidly shares about his own loss, "You're supposed to be sad, so feel sad. Don't apologise to yourself or anyone else for feeling sad, or down, or angry." This echoes the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which teaches us to accept our thoughts and feelings rather than fighting them.

Breaking the Cycle
Many of us find ourselves trapped in cycles of behavior that no longer serve us. Whether it's substance use, negative self-talk, or harmful relationships, recognising these patterns is the first step towards change. Therapy teaches us that by compassionately connecting with our struggles, accepting our true selves, examining our thoughts and our behaviours, we can break free from these cycles.

The Power of Connection
In an age where technology often leaves us feeling more isolated than ever, IDLES remind us of the vital importance of human connection. Their AF GANG community is a testament to the healing power of belonging. As social psychologist Matthew Lieberman argues, our need to connect is as fundamental as our need for food and water.

Cultivating Joy as Resistance
In a world that often seems designed to wear us down, finding joy can be a revolutionary act. This doesn't mean forced positivity or ignoring real problems. Instead, it's about finding moments of light even in the darkest times. It's about creating art, building communities, and loving fiercely in the face of adversity.

The Journey Forward
Healing isn't a destination; it's a journey. It's about progress, not perfection. As we navigate our mental health, let's remember to be patient with ourselves, to seek help when we need it, and to keep moving forward, even when the path seems unclear.

In the end, as IDLES' music reminds us, we're all in this together. By sharing our stories, embracing our struggles, and supporting each other, we can create a world where mental health is not a source of shame, but a shared human experience that connects us all.

Remember, in the words of Joe Talbot, "All is love."

22/07/2024

The Undervalued Path of Inner Growth

Society rarely rewards the hard work of personal development in tangible ways. There are no promotions, bonuses, or public accolades for becoming a more emotionally intelligent, authentic, and an empathetic human being. However, the ripple effects of this work are immeasurable and far-reaching.

Breaking the Cycle of Hurt
As the saying goes, “hurt people hurt people.” When we choose to do our deeper inner work, we actively break this cycle of pain:

- We stop transferring our unresolved traumas to our children
- We create spaces of healing in our relationships
- We contribute to a more compassionate society

Accessing Our Full Potential
Inner work enables us to develop our emotional intelligence and self-awareness. This process isn’t about abstract concepts, but about understanding ourselves better and recognising our capacity for growth and connection.
Through consistent self-reflection and personal development:

- We can approach life with more grace and understanding
- We can become more resilient in the face of challenges
- We can cultivate a sense of purpose

Seeing the Beauty in Others
Perhaps one of the most transformative aspects of inner work is how it changes our perception of others. As we become more self-aware and compassionate towards ourselves, we can naturally extend this vision to those around us. We can begin to:

- Look beyond surface-level differences and foster genuine connections based on mutual understanding and respect.

From GDP to ROE (Return on Energy)
If we move towards a more holistic “Return on Energy” model we are better able to consider:

- Emotional growth
- The quality of our relationships
- Our impact on the environment
- The wellbeing of future generations
- The overall health and happiness of individuals and communities could create a societal shift in values.

Your journey of becoming a more grounded, compassionate, and resilient human being is not just a personal endeavor—it’s a gift to those around you and a crucial investment in our collective future.

15/06/2024

WhitneyHansonPoetry - For people who struggle to please others.