Most if in fact none of you who know me, even those who know me well, will be unaware of the mental health struggles I have gone through.
In 2000 I was diagnosed with post natal psychosis, shortly after giving birth to my 3rd child.
I wasn't admitted to hospital, however I had to move from my own flat back in with my parents as I felt incapable of being left alone with my children. I heard voices,telling me to kill myself and saw things that weren't there.
I lived with my parents for almost a year before I felt comfortable returning to my home.
I was medicated with many different anti depressants, citalopram, fluoxetine and finally venlafaxine, the only one which helped me feel normal.
Years went on, everyday I felt worthless, felt like a failure as a Mother, daughter sister and friend.
I have also attempted su***de on 3 occasions because feeling like this was too much. I told no one how I felt apart from my GP, I felt too embarrassed. Never even told my family how bad I was becoming, I just put a brave face on for everyone, especially my children
Metal saved me, after years of putting music on the back burner. Putting on headphones and listening to lyrics which described exactly how I felt made me reassured that I wasn't alone. I listen to metal everyday, its as important to me as breathing, when I feel like s**t, I listen, even when I don't I listen. Metal doesnt judge, it doesnt judge who you are, what you are, what you wear, what size or shape you are, what race or religion you are. METAL HEALTH MATTERS - MUSIC SAVES LIVES. iT SAVED MINE. So before you criticize someone wearing all black, wearing make up which isnt considered 'Kardashian' or listening to metal, think about what that person is going through. Dont judge.
It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact I will never be medication free or indeed free from this debilitating illness. I can spend days in bed, my career and my businesses have suffered. There are days I don't speak, don't eat don't even surface from my bed. This is the first time I have spoken about all of this on any social media platform. This may surprise most of you reading this as I have become too good at hiding it, I became the class clown to overcompensate and to ensure I didn't become the one who always ruined the party.
Our chosen charity and why we have decided to donate:
On the evening of 11 August 2007 Sophie Lancaster and her boyfriend Robert Maltby were walking through Stubbylee Park in Bacup, Lancashire, when they were both attacked and left for dead. Robert woke from his coma a week later but Sophie never did.
Sophie and Robert were judged AND convicted by those who thought the way they dressed wasn't 'the norm'
Please don't be those people and teach your children not to be those people either. It might just save another family going through what The Lancasters did.
We are raising funds in aid of The Sophie Lancaster Foundation (although not a mental health charity) through our merchandise range raising awareness for mental health and the research carried out over many years done by various organisations which links heavy metal music improving mental health.
If you'd like to donate to Sophies charity:
https://sophielancasterfoundation.com/
To read some of the studies carried out regarding music and mental health:
https://www.madinamerica.com/…/study-finds-heavy-metal-mus…/
https://www.digitalmusicnews.com/…/metal-music-good-health…/
Id appreciate if you could share this page, raising awareness is important.
Thanks
Amanda
