Suzanna De Silva Counselling

31/01/2026

I often say to clients that understanding your neurodiversity and how it shows up in your life us like getting to know your user manual. Self-esteem can take a big hit when you are neurodiverse and understanding your neuro type can really help with feeling better about who you are.

Why Autistic Identification Is Life-Changing
Autistic identification can be profoundly life-changing. For many Autistic people, understanding their neurotype provides clarity, self-knowledge, and a framework for making sense of lifelong experiences that previously felt confusing or isolating.
Too many Autistic children, young people, and adults grow up feeling misplaced or believing they must continually adapt themselves to fit into environments that were not designed with them in mind. Masking, chronic self-doubt, and a sense of being “out of step” with the world are common outcomes of this pressure. Over time, this can significantly impact mental health, self-worth, and identity development.
Autistic neurology is inherently diverse, creative, and distinctive.
Autistic identification often marks a turning point. It can lead to greater self-compassion, reduced internalised stigma, and a move away from constant self-monitoring and conformity. Many Autistic adults describe becoming kinder to themselves, setting healthier boundaries, and embracing authenticity once they understand their Autistic identity.
Early, affirming understanding of Autism supports Autistic children to grow up with pride, confidence, and a strong sense of self. Knowing that being Autistic is a valid and valuable way of being can help protect against shame and promote lifelong resilience.

07/10/2025

Where else would I get a lovely freshly pressed glass of apple juice as an afternoon pick me up but here at the Fintry. Pressed from the apples 🍏🍎🍏🍎growing in the 13 acre garden outside my counselling room.

A delicious break in between clients. Thank you Fintry staff!!

19/08/2025

Finding the words for your feelings can be tough — especially if you’re neurodivergent. One of the tools I've found can be helpful is the app Animi.

🌀 It’s a free and simple tool designed to help you identify and name your emotions. Instead of getting stuck with “I don’t know how I feel,” the app gives you a visual way to connect with what’s happening inside.

How it works is that you check in with the app through one of two routes:

1. Body sensations. You name and refine your body sensations and, as you do, common emotions that are often paired with these body sensations are suggested.

2. Emotional compass. You begin with assessing your energy levels and as you choose the levels (e.g. high positive energy) related emotions are suggested.

You can also click on an emotion to get a description of it which can also be helpful with labelling.

Sensations in the body and energy levels can be hard to identify at first. However, if you regularly give yourself a few minutes to get curious about what's going on in your body, they can get easier to spot.

💬 Why this matters:

Naming an emotion is the first step to understanding it

When we understand, we can start to work out what's going on inside of ourselves, and manage and soothe ourselves

Understanding our feelings is also linked to our likes and dislikes, which form part of our identity. If we get to know ourselves better we can understand what people and environments work best for us and what to avoid

Understanding our emotional responses makes it easier to communicate how we feel to others

✨ In counselling, I’ve seen how tools like this can be supportive for autistic clients, who often experience emotions very deeply but can struggle to identify them or put them into words.

👉 Have you ever tried using visual or structured tools to explore your emotions? What’s helped you most?

19/05/2025

Life has thrown up some challenges for me in the last year. In amongst the turbulence I'm finding time to be outside and let the world around me soften and soothe me.

Finding this lovely little message - "hope" - posted on a tree near my home made me smile.

And it got me thinking about this lovely quote:

"Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful."
L.R. Knost

I'll leave this there with you today. And if you have any words or quotes that you love please post them...

27/03/2025

Spring 🌱 has sprung here at the Fintry - what a gorgeous few days it's been! My counselling room and the beautiful gardens surrounding it have been so warm, welcoming and bright.

The spring bulbs, tulips and daffodils, are everywhere. It's a sea of yellows, greens and oranges. 🌿🌱🌷

22/12/2024

This Christmas period I'm going to step back into some peace and quiet. No rushing to see as many people as possible. No running around the shops finding last minute gifts.

I'm going to take care of myself and indulge in some of my favourite things. I'm going to:

*Relax at home and watch TV and read under my heated blanket
*Cook and eat tasty food. Comfort food is high on the list, like bangers and mash and sweet potato stew
*Go for walks in the woods
*Do a bit of stretching and yoga
*Play pickleball
*Hang out with my sons

I often find that when I'm taking care of myself and doing my favourite things that I feel a bit guilty. As if I should be doing something more "worthy". So I'm going to bring that guilty part of me along too.

When I start to feel guilty I'm going to acknowledge the guilt and continue to look after myself anyway.

Because life is filled with lists and rushing and not enough time. So for the next two weeks I'm going to do something different. Go slow.....it will feel a bit weird but I'm going to go with it.

How are you going to take care of yourself over this Christmas break?

30/10/2024

Tired but happy. Studying the final section of my 12 day Somatic Trauma Training Course with the renowned Babette Rothschild, author of The Body Remembers and other leading trauma training books.

I've learned so much on this course, from both the course leaders and other counsellors on the course.

I've most importantly learned how to keep my clients and myself safe while they share difficult past events. I now have many different ways to help clients come back to being calm and regulated while exploring tough past life situations.

18/08/2024

A gorgeous morning yoga session on the beach in Portobello, Edinburgh. I've never done yoga on a beach before and it was great. I filled up my body with calm and happy feelings ☺️

08/07/2024

Here are a few photos of my outdoor counselling space in Godalming. I walk with people in Broadwater Park in Godalming and it's a very lovely place to work.

Outdoor counselling can feel a bit less intense than face to face counselling in a room. Walking side by side in nature can feel more relaxed and it can be easier to share simply because of the calming environment and movement of your body.

Walk and talk counselling can also:

🌿Reduce feelings of stress or anger
🌿Help you take time out and feel more relaxed.
Improve your physical health and help you get more active.
🌿Connect you to the natural world
🌿Help you access your fix of sunshine which in turn may help improve your mood and help you sleep better

If you would like to find out more about outdoor therapy either send me a message or check out my website (link in bio).

04/06/2024

Quite a lot of people on the autism spectrum have Alexythmia. Alexithymia refers to a difficulty in identifying and/or expressing emotions. 

Honestly I think that so many of us, whether neurodiverse or not, struggle to work out what we are feeling. And life gets easier when we learn to listen more closely to what is going on inside. Body sensations and feelings are clues that help to tell us what matters to us, where our boundaries are.

People with alexithymia feel the usual range of emotions, but they are less aware of their own emotions and the emotions of others. It can cause a lot of confusion and uncertainty with identity (what do I like and dislike, what do I need?) and interpersonal relationships (how do I express to them what I need, what I am feeling).

The Animi app (on your smartphone via the app store or Google apps) helps you find out more about your internal world by guiding you deeper with the clues that you have. You may not know how you feel yet you recognise certain bodily sensations, and you can start with those. Or you may be able to identify some key emotions but not more subtle ones and the app will guide you with suggestions.

Getting to better understand how you react and what you feel is key to starting to understand your likes and dislikes and how you would like to interrelate with others. 

Working with an app like this can help you become more aware of the cues your body gives you to how you feel and what you like or dislike and you can begin to get to know yourself better and then help other people understand you. 

The app was free when I downloaded it and a useful tool in increasing internal self awareness. I think so many of us are not aware of our bodily cues so I think it's an interesting app for many people, whether neurodivergent or not. 

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30/04/2024

I had such a great time at the Women's Work Social in Haslemere last week. It was wonderful to meet with a group of vibrant women all working hard on growing and running their own businesses.

It's a great place to learn about all aspects of running a small business and to get connection, friendship and support. I had to run off early to meet a client but I left inspired as usual. Thank you and for the photograp h above.

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