28/07/2025
Some of us stay silent and process our feelings quietly. Others immediately create a big, noisy drama that escalates quickly, drawing people in from far and wide.
Ever wondered why?
For some people, emotional pain feels so intense and unmanageable that it spills outward. The drama isn’t always a conscious choice; it’s a manifestation of distress that feels too big to bear silently. This can happen when:
They were never taught how to regulate emotions.
They feel unheard or invalidated, so escalation is the only way they believe they'll be noticed. The nervous system gets flooded, and rational thinking shuts down.
Sometimes, creating a dramatic scene is a way of asking (even subconsciously): “Please see how much I’m hurting.” They may feel that only big gestures will bring them words of comfort.
For people with past trauma, particularly emotional abandonment or betrayal, current situations can trigger old wounds. Their reaction might seem disproportionate, but to them, it’s tapping into layers of pain that never healed. The drama is the echo of older suffering.
If you're reading this post and can identify with it personally, there are therapies that can help and which are offered free on the NHS. When someone routinely escalates into dramatic emotional turmoil, displaying signs of underlying emotional dysregulation, unresolved trauma, or a lack of coping tools, it is important to signpost them to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) or Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) - all are offered FREE on the NHS via self-referral. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies
