Life with Borderline & Bipolar2

01/03/2026

Not doing so good 😢

24/02/2026

I’ve been quietly struggling with for months now. I’m finding it harder and harder to take my medication, and it’s starting to affect my mental health more than I want to admit.

Just thinking about taking my meds makes me feel sick. Not just a little uneasy — properly sick, like a wave comes over me and I start to dread it before I’ve even picked them up. It feels irrational because I know they’re there to help me, but my body reacts like it’s something to be afraid of.

When I do take them, I’m often physically sick afterwards, and that just makes everything worse. It sticks in my mind, so the next time comes around and I already feel anxious before I even try. Sometimes I sit there looking at them for ages, knowing I need to take them but feeling completely stuck. Other times I avoid it altogether because it just feels too much to face.

But the truth is I need them. I really do. Without my medication I’m not stable, and I can feel myself slipping when I don’t take it properly. My moods become harder to manage, my thoughts feel more restless, and everything feels more overwhelming. It scares me because I know where that road can lead.

It’s hard to explain how something so small — just taking tablets — can feel like such a big battle. People might think it’s simple, that you just take them and get on with your day, but it doesn’t feel simple to me. It feels like a fight between knowing what I need to do and feeling unable to do it.

I get frustrated with myself because I know better. I know how important my medication is. I know it helps keep me grounded. But knowing that doesn’t always make it easier.

Sometimes I feel scared of what will happen if I can’t get on top of this. I can feel the instability creeping in, and that worries me more than I can put into words.

I’m not sharing this for sympathy — I’m sharing it because this is the reality of living with mental illness sometimes. Even the things that help you can become part of the struggle.

But I’m still trying. Even on the days when it feels overwhelming, I haven’t stopped trying. Maybe that’s what strength looks like right now — not having it all together, but still making the effort anyway. I’m hoping that with time, patience, and support, this part will get easier. Until then, I’ll keep taking it one step at a time, however small those steps might be.

24/02/2026

💚💚

22/02/2026

https://youtu.be/6JwophLAXxc?si=Qtg3-RhMCiEGIw1z

Please take a look at these, this person has been so kind to share her work 💚💚

A song about the up and downs of dealing with bipolar ...

22/02/2026

https://youtu.be/9fsEZaxyjE4?si=fFhRDr3qxIKT_8GR

This is what a lovely person sent to me, thought I would share x💚

A song about the struggles of dealing with borderline personality disorder xx ...

22/02/2026

Myth:
People with bipolar are just moody
Fact:
Bipolar involves clinical episodes of mania/hypomania and depression that can last days, weeks or longer. It’s a medical condition, not a personality trait.

22/02/2026

We don’t have to fix our whole lives today. Let’s Just get through this morning 💚

21/02/2026

Well… after being up and down all night, I think I’m officially retiring from sleep 🙃

I’ve probably clocked a solid three hours in total — which, in my world, counts as a full night’s luxury package.

Now we roll into the day fuelled by determination, mild delusion, and a strong cup of coffee. ( yes I know I shouldn’t drink coffee) 🤦‍♀️
Let’s just hope the bipolar behaves itself and doesn’t decide today is the day for plot twists.

If you’re running on empty too, you’re not alone. Sometimes just getting through the day is the win 💚

21/02/2026

Up again after just two hours in bed.
Probably only slept for one. 🤦‍♀️

And here we go again!

Bipolar mania doesn’t knock politely. It doesn’t ease itself in gently. It doesn’t care that my body is exhausted or that I was desperate for rest. It flicks a switch somewhere deep inside my brain and suddenly I’m wide awake — wired, restless, alert in a way that doesn’t feel healthy… just intense.

My body is tired.
My eyes sting.
But my mind? Racing.

Thoughts come fast and loud. Ideas feel urgent. Everything feels important. There’s a pull to do something — anything — at 2am. Clean. Plan. Write. Start something new. Fix my whole life before sunrise or even write a Facebook post! 😉

And on the outside, people sometimes think mania means energy, confidence, productivity. They don’t always see this side of it. The frustration. The agitation. The way it steals sleep and replaces it with noise.

Because that’s what it feels like tonight. Noise.

I didn’t choose this. I didn’t stay up scrolling. I didn’t drink too much coffee. I went to bed wanting to rest. Wanting quiet. Wanting a break from my own head.

Instead, I’m up again.

Living with bipolar means learning that sleep isn’t always guaranteed. Stability isn’t always guaranteed. Sometimes your brain decides it’s go-time when your body is begging for pause.

It’s exhausting fighting your own chemistry.

And the hard part? Knowing that lack of sleep can feed the mania even more. It becomes a cycle. The less you sleep, the more wired you feel. The more wired you feel, the less you sleep.

This isn’t “just being awake.”
This is bipolar.
This is mania creeping in.

Im writhing this and posting this at this hour to show that mental health conditions aren’t always visible in the daytime. Sometimes they show up in the dark, when the world is quiet but your mind refuses to be.

If you’re reading this at some stupid hour of the night because your brain won’t switch off either — you’re not weak. You’re not dramatic. You’re not alone.

Tonight I’m tired… but wired.
Exhausted… but alert.
Wanting rest… but fighting my own mind.

This is the reality sometimes.

And tomorrow I’ll deal with it again.

20/02/2026

Today might not of been easy but we still showed up
And that counts for more than you think!
Take care friends 💚

20/02/2026

If you live with bipolar, please know this:
You are not too much.
You are not broken.
You are navigating something incredibly complex with strength most people don’t even see. 💚

20/02/2026