05/11/2021
This is so well written. Our end of life will come and we never know when. Preparing can help us appreciate what we have whilst we still can. So much of our lives are spent focussing on an improbable future and we forget where we are now. Now is the time to put our house in order. Now is the time to think about telling our story. And yet we procrastinate refusing to accept death as the natural conclusion to our life.
If I can help either with having the conversation, putting your house in order, or being your Celebrant and telling your story or that of a loved one, do let me know.
Martin
“I'm frankly amazed that cancer brochures don't deal with the existential nature of getting a life threatening or fatal illness. They speak about what happens to your body, talk about hospices and "managing pain" but avoid the biggest and most life shattering truth of all - death - the end of life as we know it, the shattering of the illusion of self and security we all have. To me this is one of the most important questions every human should deal with. We keep death wrapped up and shrouded, afraid to wake the wailing ghost-beast. Because in truth being told u will die and they don't know when is terrifying and puts you in a completely different group than those who have the illusion of continuity. Daily life and short term wellbeing and happyness become much more important. Bringing close those you love (and maybe avoiding those who never really cared but only do now they suddenly know ur dying). It all becomes about the present, blue skies, little happynesses, making peace, knitting that jumper, hugging your kids, being present in meditation. Many people have described the horror of a life threatening illness as a paradoxical blessing because it suddenly put infront of them what was important all along - love and this moment. Not necessarily romantic love, but human connection, natural connection, inner peace. You realize you can't take any of the things you have been so anxiously striving for with you. Life becomes simpler.
Maybe you believe in future lives, maybe you believe our bodies re combine with elements and continue on in water, earth, soil.. Or maybe you believe in God, or nothing... But having peace for whatever time you have left and living as well as you can matters. Not holding onto things unworthy of your attention matters. Having some sense of control over what you can control, matters. Being around people who inspire joy and support what u most deeply value, matters. Remembering the good things u have done and rejoicing in that, matters. Maybe reading some spiritual books or learning meditation can help. You are not alone. We all die.
Death is the natural outcome of life, it is part of the cycle of change, the price we pay for life. It is not a defeat, its the veil of unknowing. If you think about it, there is still so much about life we dont know. Why do we fall in love with certain people. What controls what happens when? Science can explain a rainbow or a flower or how bees fly, but that doesn't really give voice to the embodied experience of the mystery - the mystery when a woman/trans man/non binary person births a baby and holds it.. The mystery of laughing with our friends. The joy we feel with kindred spirits, the smell after rain, the eyes of our loved one, the smell of a freshly baked cake.. Some things are just to be lived, to be made peace with, its not ok, its sad and unfair, but its ok too. We are falling without a parachute, there is nothing to hold onto, but there is also no ground.”
Ayya Yeshe
www.bodhicitta-monastery.com
www.ayyayeshe.wordpress.com
This is the home page's excerpt
