Therapy with Abby

Therapy with Abby https://therapywithabby.komi.io
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The body needs more than the absence of activity
17/04/2026

The body needs more than the absence of activity

17/04/2026

As a therapist, I’ve noticed something recently.

Nervous system work is everywhere right now…but it’s also being oversimplified.

A lot of what I see is really just about calming down.

Slowing down, regulating, getting back to baseline.

And while that can be helpful, it often doesn’t seem to last.

People find themselves right back in the same place - overwhelmed, stretched, trying to cope.

I think it’s because most of what we’re being taught focuses on *stress management*.…not expanding how much our system can actually hold.

Even the language of “regulation” can get misunderstood.

It can quietly become another way of saying: don’t feel this, settle yourself down, be less reactive.

And sometimes, that starts to look a lot like suppression.

For me, the more interesting question has become:

not ‘how do we calm down?’

but

‘how do we expand what our system can hold - so we’re not just coping with life, but able to meet more of it?’

That’s why I created The Capacity Shift -
a space that doesn’t just explain these ideas, but gently guides you through expanding your capacity…through nervous system and somatic work, emotional processing, and the deeper, protective patterns shaping how you respond to life. 💓

I think this is one of the biggest misunderstandings when it comes to nervous system work.We assume the answer is to *ca...
15/04/2026

I think this is one of the biggest misunderstandings when it comes to nervous system work.

We assume the answer is to *calm down*

But if your system has learned that being “on” is what keeps you safe…then slowing down doesn’t feel calming. It feels uncomfortable - sometimes even threatening.

The real work is around expanding your nervous system capacity.

Not just so you can rest more easily, but so that you can:

✨ recover more quickly when life is stressful
✨ have more patience, clarity and steadiness in your everyday life
✨ tolerate the discomfort that comes with change, complexity and growth
✨ have more ways of coping instead of relying on the same old patterns (like people-pleasing, perfectionism, or overworking)

This is the work we’ll be doing inside The Capacity Shift - working on three layers:

🧘‍♀️ nervous system and somatic work
🧠 Emotional patterns
🪆Inner child & protective parts

Because capacity doesn’t shift through isolated tools - it changes through consistent, integrated work with the body, emotions, and underlying patterns - over time.

🎥 Each week you’ll get a recorded teaching from me - something you can come back to in your own time.

🫶 But we’re also going to meet each week for live integration sessions with me - which is where the work becomes really powerful. You can ask questions, get nuanced guidance from me, and hear insights from others on a similar path.

Because of the live group element, spaces will be limited.

If you’re interested, make sure you’re on the waitlist so you’re the first to know when doors open. ❤️

It’s funny how we expect toddlers to fall apart without these things but somehow we expect ourselves to keep going 🤷‍♀️
14/04/2026

It’s funny how we expect toddlers to fall apart without these things

but somehow we expect ourselves to keep going 🤷‍♀️

If you never come back down, you’re not building resilience - you’re burning through it.
13/04/2026

If you never come back down, you’re not building resilience - you’re burning through it.

Oof! This hit me hard the first time I heard it - mostly because I learned this the hard way.A lot of us wait until our ...
12/04/2026

Oof! This hit me hard the first time I heard it - mostly because I learned this the hard way.

A lot of us wait until our body is shouting before we start paying attention.

Maybe it’s insomnia, burnout or panic attacks that finally force us to listen.

But the body doesn’t suddenly start communicating at breaking point. It’s been speaking the whole time.

In quieter, more subtle ways.

Low-level fatigue you can’t shake.
Shoulders that always feel tight.
A stomach that feels slightly off more often than not.
That background hum of anxiety you’ve learned to live with.

We override these signals far too easily easily. We normalise them, tell ourselves ourselves this is just a normal part of life.

But these signals carry important information. They’re little nudges that something needs attention.

And when we don’t listen… they don’t disappear. They just get louder and louder.

Learning to tune into the whispers - is uncomfortable at first. And maybe inconvenient.

It asks you to pause when you’d rather push through an to feel what you might’ve spent years moving past.

But truly listening is how we start to build a more attuned and trusting relationship with our body . It’s how we can more from surviving to thriving ❤️

We’ve been taught that nervous system work is about calming down. But that’s only part of the story.You can have all the...
09/04/2026

We’ve been taught that nervous system work is about calming down. But that’s only part of the story.

You can have all the tools, all the insight, understand your patterns inside out…and still feel like you’re right at the edge of what you can handle.

That’s usually not a regulation problem.

It’s a capacity problem.

This is the shift I’ve been exploring in my own life, and in the work I do with clients - not just how to feel better in the moment, but how to expand what your nervous system can actually hold.

More emotion.
More rest.
More uncertainty.
More of your life.

If this resonated, comment SHIFT and I’ll send you the details of something new I’ve been building. ✨

Real transformation requires letting go ✨
06/04/2026

Real transformation requires letting go ✨

I’ve been thinking about something a therapist said to me years ago.This was before I was a therapist myself. At the tim...
03/04/2026

I’ve been thinking about something a therapist said to me years ago.

This was before I was a therapist myself. At the time, my life looked…together. But internally, it didn’t feel like that.

I was always slightly braced. Jaw clenched before I’d even got out of bed. Mind scanning for problems that hadn’t happened yet. And when I wasn’t anxious, I’d swing the other way - flat, foggy, shut down.

So I did what most people do. I learned the tools. Breathing, grounding, journalling. I got very good at regulating myself.

And it helped.
Just not in the way I expected.

Because underneath it all, there was this niggling question: why does this still feel like so much effort?

I remember saying that in therapy once.
“I’m doing all the right things… but I still don’t feel like I’m coping with life very well.”

And she said:

The problem isn’t that you’re not coping well enough. It’s that you’re coping all the time.

That really stayed with me.

Because coping matters - it helps in the moment. But it doesn’t change what your system can hold. You’re still living inside the same limits. Just managing them better.

And I think a lot of people are living like that. Functioning and holding it all together. But finding life quietly quite effortful.

For me, things only really shifted when the work changed. Less about managing myself…and more about expanding what I could actually hold.

Not that life got easier. But it stopped feeling like everything might tip me over.

There’s just… more room now.

And that changes everything.

That’s the work I’m interested in now. Not just helping you feel better in the moment…but helping you build the capacity to hold more.

I’m opening the doors to The Capacity Shift soon - an 8-week guided experience designed to do exactly that.

Comment SHIFT and I’ll send you the details. ✨

Your nervous system doesn’t need constant calm - it needs safety 🌼
02/04/2026

Your nervous system doesn’t need constant calm - it needs safety 🌼

When we’re overwhelmed, stressed, or spiralling, the part of the brain responsible for perspective and problem-solving (...
31/03/2026

When we’re overwhelmed, stressed, or spiralling, the part of the brain responsible for perspective and problem-solving (the prefrontal cortex) goes a little offline.

Which means no matter how hard you try, thinking your way out of it usually doesn’t work.

What *does* help is tending to your body first.

Slowing your breath.
Moving.
Grounding.
Pausing.

✨ Regulation before reflection ✨

Because clarity tends to come *after* the storm has passed.

Decisions feel easier once your system has settled.

So if you find yourself in a spiral, see if you can remember this:

You don’t need to figure everything out right now. Your only job in this moment is to soothe your system. The rest can wait. ❤️

—————————-

If this resonates, you might be interested in my new programme, The Capacity Shift.

It’s an 8 week guided experience - all about building a nervous system that doesn’t get overwhelmed so easily in the first place.

Comment SHIFT and I’ll send you all the details 🙌

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The Courtyard House, Units 2-7 Taylor’s Yard, 170 Brick Lane
London
E16RU

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