28/04/2024
I have emerged from a long phase of medical treatment on my head injury, and now my consciousness and vision clearer than it has been since 2019. It has been a difficult journey in the last year, and I did not feel like sharing anything on social media until I had some good news. Although I had originally believed that I was OK at the end of 2022, I had to admit that the head injury had done permanent damage when I was attempting to write up my PhD Thesis but was having blackouts and all sorts of cognitive function impairments. I had to let go of my “only natural plant medicine” policy and seek pharmaceutical help from a Neuropsychiatrist who specialised in traumatic brain injuries. The evidence-based treatments for TBIs are various medications developed for ADHD, but there is valid concern that these will badly effect people with bipolar disorder and are contraindicated with MAOIs found in ayahuasca. I took a calculated risk, trying these ADHD medications according to the Neuropsychiatrist’s protocols, hoping to regain my cognitive function and academic intelligence that had been lost since 2019.
Several of the first medications prescribed triggered manic symptoms and I quickly stopped these, with not much damage done except some embarrassing communications (sorry). The next prescription got my brain working well again and I managed to do a lot of work and deliver a lecture at my university in Australia in May, but then serious cardiovascular and manic symptoms escalated and I had to stop that too, collapsing into bed to recover, and I had to cancel my presentation at the MAPS Psychedelic Science Conference in June and did not get to see my friends in Melbourne either. When I returned to the UK, I spent most of the summer trialling other prescriptions until I discovered the 7th one on the Neuropsychiatrist’s list was helpful, and without significant adverse effects. It was a frustrating waste of time but seems worth it in the end now that I have my cognitive function clear again.
Although I have accepted the fact that I am going to need to have surgery on my skull later this year to properly and permanent fix this problem, I am happy that I have an interim solution that is allowing me to work again and feel like my old exuberant, motivated, and effective self again. I have spent some time to sort out the logistical and financial mess that had piled up during years since the head injury, and that is all under control again. Now I am fully focussed on the completion of my PhD Thesis and working towards a clinical trial of my special brew of ayahuasca for people with bipolar disorder.
I am back on my mission, and it feels amazing. I am feeling grateful to my Neuropsychiatrist and the scientists who developed this treatment, and to all my friends who have supported me!