28/07/2021
marcus_munya "This might be one of my more important posts"
TLDR: Notice when you enjoy something and your life will get better.
Notice when you inflict suffering by journalling or talking about it and change it or it will get worse and worse.
THE PURPOSE OF SHADOW AND SELF
Our self and our shadow are two sides of our selves, the self is articulated and controlled the shadow is inarticulated and reactionary. As we have new experiences we process them through conversation or journalling or on a communal level art to transform this inarticulated shadow into a new part of our articulated self, a new useful part of our character.
THE SOURCE OF ANXIETY
But sometimes if we haven't had the time to reflect on this new information in whichever way, we experience a build up of inarticulated ideas and experiences some of which hide painful memories but others of which hold the key to powerful tools of potential new behaviour we have perceived. This can manifest in the form of anxiety or another form of mental or physical discomfort and signals that the shadow is at a critical mass.
WHY WE INFLICT PAIN
The shadow is a facade behind which we hide and simultaneously express our inarticulated pain, lying about our behaviour, projecting our truth onto others or inflicting the suffering we have felt on other people. Subconsciously?
A vent of emotional pressure.
BEING YOUR SELF
The self strives to give their skills and resources and share in the joy that they create having articulated and taken lessons from painful experiences in how to perceive communication and behaviour as motivation and converge different motivations both internal and external on a mutually beneficial objective.
Empowering and inspiring an unlimited number of shadows; inarticulated beings, with results and the example of your ex*****on.
With the knowledge and grit imparted by the painful experience the self is imbued with the strength and resilience to speak truth to power and holds people to account to face their shadow head on, where the self sees others expressing or hiding it.
Inspiring growth and entraining each self to subdue their shadow.
INSPIRATION BY KINDRED SPIRITS
The self can only be inspired by another who has articulated and overcome similar inarticulated challenges and who can or has seen a component of your shadow expressed or attempted to be hidden by you, whether that represents a component they have overcome, or one they have identified in themself and are still wrestling with.
The more mutual components of self (articulated lessons) and shadow (inarticulated exeprience) you share the more there is a mutual understanding, but this may also lead to clashing if your natures are similar.
Or alternatively a friend who can act as a reliable sounding board for your uncertainties when you have a dilemma to point you in the right direction.
The more complimentary components of self (articulated lessons) and shadow (inarticulated experience) you share the more there is a deeper connection, think of puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together.
THE MEANING OF RESPECT
Hence, you often find inspiration from people that you respect, people who have overcome the same problem see your struggle with your shadow (inarticulated experience or problem) and will point it out and offer a solution if necessary but choose an encouraging rather than an insulting tone when criticising your attempts to project it or hide it.
Whether it is conscious or subconscious, a component of the shadow you have encountered and are struggling with, or one that catches you unaware. A sense of respect for truth follows the initial annoyance or even anger at being caught out, at someone daring to point at the truth behind your mask you are trying to understand and integrate, on your journey to living as a whole articulated being in as far as your experience has taught you.
BALANCING CONTROL AND UNLEASH OF ENERGY
Some of the most difficult integrations of shadow into self are that of retaliation against tyrants but they are necessary because, each individual must know with good reason, that if a fight breaks out they can bite back, HARD and survive. This is because society values control and discipline, and striking a balance between being primed to self defend and being controlled, relaxed and focused.
CYCLE OF SUFFERING: Ignorance>Wrong>Suffering
If you act dishonourably but you dont recompense the suffering caused you are now consciously aware of the behaviour of a component of the shadow, it is causing you suffering or others suffering but you have ignored it, creating a habit of ignorance to yours or others suffering.
If you do ignore it, the next time this unaddressed behaviour of inarticulated origin interprets an opportunity to inflict suffering on you or others, you are more likely to allow yourself to engage in it and the cycle of wrong action, suffering and ignorance is more likely to continue.
The more you ignore.
The more you wrongly inflict suffering on others.
The more people have reason to retaliate, inflicting suffering on you.
REDEEM YOURSELF
By not redeeming the dishonour at the earliest opportunity having become aware of its result and investigating its internal source a downward spiral of suffering might develop momentum which will effect you and others.
When in the throws of the cycle of suffering someone might be inspired to inflict suffering reactively rather than purposefully such as learning or muscle development on, especially subversively on someone, the worse their shadow becomes, and the more they need to vent the emotional pressure created by an unaddressed component of their shadow which wants to stay the same.
VENTING THE SUFFERING CYCLE
To vent this emotional pressure
They might lie to hide their behaviour and/or implicate others instead of them, therefore degenerating trust in a relationship,
Or they inflict similar suffering on others in a conscious or subconscious reaction to a trigger, passing on the trauma if the recipient is innocent or naive to this of component of shadow but also creating more suffering in themselves due to their innate empathy crucial to developing and maintaining relationships.
Or by attempting to inflict similar suffering on others revealing their shadow to those wise to the attempted technique of delivery who will likely point it out as an unacceptable behaviour to be addressed.
Or inflict suffering on themselves if they don't feel strong enough to face the articulation of the original suffering alone but don't trust anyone enough to share it with them and feel supported enough to discover the lesson that would fortify their character enough to deal with a similar situation in future.
They recognise the need to express their pain through a degree of self harm, reenactment the suffering on others (also self harm) but not yet the lesson to accompany the retaliation for the recipient or the perpetrator.
ARTICULATE TO CREATE JOY
To articulate the lesson having addressed, disciplined and controlled their own reactive shadow and integrated it into self is to return to themself as someone who wants to create joy and become better at creating joy.
To address any suffering you are finding difficult to understand and find solutions to overcoming, write down the origin of the suffering privately or in the company of a trusted person, who needn't know what youre writing necessarily.
Detail who inflicted the suffering, How?
What was their motivation?
What was your motivation?
How did you react?
Consider how you could converge these two motivations in a mutually beneficial goal, how could you react in the future to a similar situation to achieve this goal for both of your satisfaction.
Or if there was no other person what conflicting inner motivations led to the suffering?
How you could converge these inner conflicts in a certain action or plan that satisfies both objectives in a reasonable time period.
This is what is meant by be your self.
To take what experience you have and ensure that you document the best experiences, the most improved experiences and the experiences that could have been better (where you are suffering) to maintain an articulated character based on your most up to date experiences so that you are at your best to the best of your knowledge.
This means discipline, in two ways, firstly documentation and articulation of your best moments, growth and areas of improvement to continuously define your self as it comes into being.
Secondly ensuring that your experiences expand into the unknown out from your comfort zone of order step by step calculated into chaos. So that your self, (the collection of behaviours that defines the interface between your nature and the culture you live in, and ensures you maintain a role in society) is the best it can be.
