Neeta Ittoo Coaching, London (2026)

05/05/2022

Navigating through Surrogacy with Resilience.

The above title is the speech I have the honour and privilege to deliver at the 7th International Conference on Reproductive Health, Embryology and Fertility on the 16th of May 2022.

What is it about some might ask?

Surrogacy often comes after years of fertility treatments, perhaps unsuccessful adoption processes, challenging medical conditions, and is commonly traumatic. Parents have accumulated traumas over the years, including pain, sadness, hopelessness, self-judgement and unworthiness, amongst others.

The number of babies born through Surrogacy is increasing due to women and men going through infertility. But Surrogacy is also for those who have a medical condition and for same s*x couples and single parents.

From my research with other parents and based on my own experience, I came to the conclusion that if we do not deal with our past traumas on the journey to parenthood, we are going to have those painful memories resurfacing throughout our life, thus affecting the happiness and wellbeing of both our child and our own as parents.

Neuropathways forged during traumatic episodes condition any human being. Our brain remembers, and even if we do not think about those moments, they are still present. Those traumatic memories have to be processed and the pains associated with them must be acknowledged. It helps to release them so that they do not come haunting again.

As humans, we think by avoiding those thoughts and feelings, they will disappear. But scientists have confirmed that in order to deal with them, we need to be aware of them and then process and tame them.

Self-reflection and training of our brain is where it all begins. We find the same philosophy or principles in mindfulness.

That is what I help parents going through Surrogacy to do. With my unique method called IP Resilience Living, I help those parents acknowledge their emotions and be less reactive to them.

Because ultimately, we all want to be happy and more so for our children to have a calm and peaceful life.

The IP Resilience Living Programme works for you:
If you are planning Surrogacy
If you are already in the process
If you have children through Surrogacy

If you are in any of the above positions, and want to navigate through Surrogacy and its emotions, feeling empowered with appropriate tools for parenting, then send a DM to book your free 30 mins consultation with me.

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07/03/2022

Our overwhelming journey as Intended Parents!

Have you fully considered how important it is to 100% acknowledge and deal with our past experiences and beliefs or stories, to be able to support our child born through surrogacy and ourselves to feel fulfilled as a parent and give them unconditional love and attention.

A few triggers and emotions that we go through are as follows:
Dealing with the judgement of others.
In my case, I chose a donor, who has no physical resemblance with me, so as you can imagine, my son does not look like me. So the ‘assumptions’ of others could have hurt me and it did at the beginning until I learnt to deal with it in a positive way.
Not being able to ‘complain’ as other parents do, fearing we will be considered ungrateful for our miracle long-awaited baby.
Dealing with advice from so many, because they think we are not informed or competent as mothers because we did not physically carry our baby.
Things that are unspoken of, for example about breastfeeding. I know some Intended Parents (IPs) used breast milk from either the surrogate or another person, who have been severely judged.
Giving all our power away to your surrogate or doctors, just because we are afraid she might say no and withdraw. There is no need to be so hard on ourselves, because you know we care about her and of course, our baby. Learn how to say it with compassion and kindness.

The list goes on…

We IPs (Intended Parents) have been through these challenges. Some still have difficulty coping, not just because of the journey to our baby, but also from our childhood loads we have been carrying. It can be a trauma due to the relationship with our parents or close ones or as simple as someone making us feel not worthy or not caring enough.

Whether you are considering Surrogacy or going through it or even if you already have your baby, we have to overcome those pains.

I have created a special programme for Intended Parents, to accompany you to let go of the past traumas and fears and build a happier and stronger foundation with your baby or babies and yourselves. It all starts with first recognising our emotions.

You will learn how to let go of those fears and cherish the long awaited motherhood and live it fully without doubting or questioning yourself or your choices.

You have been courageous to undergo this rollercoaster journey!
Recognise and acknowledge it!

Why not take the opportunity to work on yourself while preparing for the arrival of your bundle of joy?

There are ways you feel that you have kept to yourself because you feel that nobody would understand. But why should others understand?

This is your journey! Let's have a chat to see how I can help you navigate through this journey?

My Resilience Living Method digs deeper to rewrite the new stories and outcome of your life in your own terms to create a positive ripple effect through your children.

Send me a DM, if you would like to have a free consultation to understand your emotions, consciously or unconsciously. Sometimes, we are so busy to sense them or keep ourselves so busy so that we do not have to face them. I have been through this journey with many ups and downs, that is the reason I want to help you overcome those obstacles for a more fulfilling life.

17/02/2022

Many women, after years of fertility treatments or a strong medical condition not allowing them to carry their own child, go through Surrogacy.

But what is Surrogacy? People judge it without knowing what is in detail and what it entails for the Intended Parents and Surrogates!

Surrogacy is sometimes the last hope of making the parenthood dream to become reality, after having tried fertility treatments and/or adoption.

The parents initiating the process are called Intended Parents (IP) and the once carrying the baby is a surrogate, however in the legal terms she is called the carrier.

There are two types of surrogacy, traditional or gestational.

I learnt about these words when I could not do more fertility treatments anymore, both mentally and physically, when I started to do research on Surrogacy.

When a couple or single parent, either with their own fertilised embryos or with the help of a donor, makes the choice for another woman to carry their child, can you imagine the path before that decision!

Sometimes, we have no choice but to put aside all the pains and past traumas and have to be fully immersive in this process.

As intended parents, we know the procedures - legal, psychological, financial but also being available at odd hours if it is being done abroad. In my case it was in the US while I was in Spain!!!

But have you considered the fact that not having dealt with the past challenges and feelings, how does that affect this beautiful journey and later the parenting rollercoaster with all the fears, doubts and at the same time the excitement and joy of having your baby!
I have been through it all, and have decided to make it my mission to help those going through this journey, as a couple or individually.

Who has also been through this beautiful, emotional and sometimes overwhelming journey?

If you have, just comment with your favourite emoji!💛

12/01/2022

Are you among the people who have made resolutions for 2022?

So many of us make a list of things that we want to commit to, on the 1st of each year.

How many of those things do you stay committed to by the 31st December with?

If you are like most people, most probably after making your list, some will be forgotten and some will fall off the radar.

I was one of those people!

For years I would commit to do sports and shed off those extra kilos I gained over the years from my fertility treatments. So every 1st January, I would promise myself to work out and be active. Most of the time, I would enroll in a gym, go in a few times and then stop!

I know I am not the only one. Ever wondered why that is?

Until last year, I changed my way of dealing with my resolutions. I started thinking in a different and more efficient way.

Guess what, in just a few months, I lost 20 kg in a year. I had not imagined that was possible for me. But it did!!

If I can do it, you can too!!

And it does not have to be on the 1st of January. With this method, anytime is a good time to start!

This is what I understood and started applying:
You have to commit first to those wishes or ideas before having the motivation to carry them forward.

Just writing them down or saying it to your family and friends or even saying it out loud is not enough.

Based on various researches, there are ways to implement them and be consistent with it!

What needs to be changed are the old habits and creating new ones.

With my unique methodology, Resilience Living, we unlearn and learn how to build those commitments and new habits so that they become part of you in just 30 days. You are guided step by step how to implement them in this simple and easy process to follow, so that they stick.

If you wish to learn more, DM me for a free 1 hour call to discuss how I can help you stick to your resolutions and commitments, and be a better version of yourself you can be proud of any time of the year!!!

22/12/2021

We never stop growing and learning!

Everything in our lives teach us valuable lessons, sometimes we do not see it or do not want to see it!

Just be compassionate with yourself and we do tend to be our worst critic. Like my mentor would say - Stop it!!!

Start by writing 5 things you like about yourself…

Please share one or more in the post!

07/12/2021

Getting in our own way...

I still remember when things would not work out as I planned it, I would get overwhelmed and start to blame myself for not having been able to do them properly. For example, it could be as simple as ordering weekly groceries to not be successful with my fertility treatments…

Many emotions would come up, including anger, frustrations and guilt.

With time and a lot of self introspection, I have learnt how not to beat myself up for not having things done perfectly.

But does perfection exist?! Is it even possible to be perfect? Being perfect for me today means that there is no room for improvement…

So today, where I work from is everything is a lesson and if I choose to do something or make a decision that works well, I am obviously very happy, but they do not turn out to be as I expected it to be, I learn from it and grow. It helps me not leak my power or energy and feel more content because now I take responsibility for my actions.

No more blaming the circumstances or others! Now I take full responsibility of the choices I make and learn from them and grow with them!

It led to me creating The Resilience Living Method, which is primarily based on NLP techniques, mindfulness and a lot of my personal experience but also from others who were struggling with the same situation.

If my story resonates with you and you are the person looking to break free of this cage of emotions keeping you trapped, then click on the link below to download your free emotion wheel and book your free session so that we can elaborate on it....

I am opening up some spots for a free consultation of 1 hour. Our first free session is to discover the emotions you have at a conscious or unconscious level.

☞ https://neetaittoo.com/emotions-wheel/free-call

26/10/2021

Which one best describes your way of doing things?
A or B? 😜

20/10/2021

Why do we feel stuck?

We sometimes blame others or wait for a miracle!

Nothing changes if nothing changes!

Doubting every decision you take
Asking for others approval
Changing your mind every time
Worried that things will not go as plan!

Daily experiences that create enormous chaos
In our head, heart and mind!
Affecting our well being
And of those around us!

Then the self-talk takes over
I am incapable
I cannot be trusted
I am afraid
I am silly or worse stupid
I do not deserve…
… love
… happiness
… success
…

Common emotions we experience in our life!
That we accept them and cope with them!

Ever wondered where they come from?
Most probably it started in our childhood
At home
At school
With family and friends
A neighbour ...

We absorb everything we hear and see
Unconsciously or consciously

Insecurity gets most of its power
From our self-talks
The latter consolidate our beliefs
Creating our identity

Create your own
Without external influence
Or fear of judgement
Or of not being enough
And take ownership of it!

Like the famous line: THE POWER IS WITHIN YOU!! 😉

For many years, my story was that losing weight is hard and impossible, until I changed my identity to being fit! For the past year without depriving myself of what I enjoy eating or drinking and without working out everyday. (It does not mean you have to create the identity and do nothing with it!!)

I lost around 17 kg!!! 🤩

Trust me we can create our own story that serves us better than the ones that hold us back!

What is your story that you tell yourself?

15/10/2021

Comfort in your discomfort!
So many fears!
We all have them.
Had so many
Still working on some.

Sometimes too afraid to dig deeper
Let alone facing them
Why do we do that?
Lack of self-trust
Lack of self-worth

We are afraid to take the steps
Because what would happens next
What is waiting for me on the other side
So we shut ourselves in our golden cage!

Choosing to be comfortable
Even if it causes so much discomfort
It is reassuring
It is cosy
It is known

Who would dive in an unknown sea of emotions?
How do I resurface?
… Can I?
It is scary, I know!
Been there, trust me!

The price to pay is merely just
… your happiness
… inner peace
… your better self!

How do you feel about fear?

Thank you Tara Shannon for this inspiring and beautiful message and drawing!

10/10/2021

Watercolour class this morning with my 3 year old! 💛💛💛🦋🦋🦋

29/09/2021

This question changed my life!

Can you see the power of this question?

20/09/2021

Not just a support group!
Not just a coaching group!

The doors are officially open… Resilient Fertility Warriors

DM me me to learn more and see if it is a good fit for you to overcome the overwhelm and grief!

Also, get a copy of my self care journal specially created to start transforming your life to continue on your journey and release all the non serving emotions and thoughts!

Neeta Ittoo Coaching

05/05/2022

07/03/2022

17/02/2022

12/01/2022

22/12/2021

07/12/2021

26/10/2021

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15/10/2021

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29/09/2021

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