High Vibe

12/04/2023

Five weeks ago I had a minor surgical procedure that meant I had to stop my usual routine. No cycling and no yoga! When I nonchalantly told my ADHD coaching buddy I was off for to hospital, her face said it all and she gently reminded me that any procedure, no matter how small is serious to a degree. I appreciated and super grateful for that support, which does not come easy to me. Which helped me to shift my attitude, whilst still remaining positive.

So what does an active go getting person do instead? Well, I…

💛I listened to my body and slowed down
💛I continued to naturally rise early and meditated instead of hopping out of bed for 6.30am yoga class. I'm loving the new meditation practice that sparks creativity
💛I walked everywhere and that gave me the time to call friends and family and connect

After a complication set back my return to my usual routine by a couple of weeks, five weeks later I am back to 6.30am hot yoga and welcomed by this wonderful view of Tower Bridge this morning.

I'm surprised at how easily I've slipped back into my old routine and getting a hug from the fabulous on my first day back yesterday was the icing on the cake.

I still took myself off to the pub and even got to a dear friend's 40th birthday. But another me would've probably used alcohol for escapism and to mask the pain! I wonder if I was still drinking booze how that might've impacted my healing and my ability to get back into my routine!

You do not find a happy life…you make it. But life can be tough and it has it's highs and lows. But even in moments of adversaries, it's possible to find glimmers of happiness and things to be grateful for.

27/02/2023

Do you find time just goes and before you know it you're rushing to where you need to be?

I rush because I don't want to be late for others. Even though I think I've given myself enough time it seems to just get away with me! I'll either get there on time or slightly late, but I've busted my backside to get there. I read just today, that ADHD-ers don’t see time, they "feel" time, says ADDitude magazine and this got me thinking more about being intentional about my time, that I feel I have more of now I'm alcohol free!

I am normally cycling through London pretty speedily. But yesterday, when I went on a date with myself to The Refinery yoga studio in Hackney, for a sound bath meditation with cacao. Instead, I took out the extra stop I thought I had time for and enjoyed a leisurely pace. Got there early and noticed how not "rushing" instilled calmness in me. I've been trying to give myself more time to get to places so I'm rushing less but I've not really been embracing it. Hoping this reminder of how lovely life can be if you give yourself the gift of a little more time might help me to do this more.

I love a bath. But instead of being bathed in water I was bathed in sound and got out of my head and into my heart. Sonia who ran the session, reminded me how cacao opens up the heart and I felt that and even had a few tears. I definitely fell asleep for some of it, but loved going on a sound journey and the floaty sensation afterwards.

For those less familiar with sound baths, they're an ancient ritual. For the techies out there, the sound frequency: 8-13 Hz, which is our physically and mentally relaxed state.

Studies have found that sound bath can:

💛Reduce Anxiety levels

💛Release tension

💛Reduce stress

💛Improve your mood

💛Enhance your creativity

Even though I went alone on my date with myself I felt connected to the other people in the room and going up in pairs to collect our cacao was lovely way to create a micro connection too with the person I was next to.

I feel well rested and energised today. Can't wait for the next one end of March.

What do you do to help you manage your time?

23/02/2023

Excited to share tomorrow lunch time I'm speaking at Meet Our ADHD Coach hosted by . You can find the link to register in the comments. We will be talking about

💫 Creating and maintaining habits that give you purpose.

💫 The connection between alcohol and ADHD and the work I've been doing with clients to help them transform their relationship with alcohol and how I live a fullfiling life alcohol free.

💥People come to me who are asking themselves, "what now?" or feel that low confidence is getting in the way of them being their best selves. Many don't know what they want but many go away with a new career and with increased self, social and relationship awareness. Revealing strengths barriers getting in the way in order to break through these to create sustainable change.

Are you ready to unleash your potential? Are you looking for ADHD Coaching? I've now opened up introduction calls. You can me a message here, or you can book at intro call 📞 using the link in my bio.

21/02/2023

Friday night was the belated 20th birthday party of 2manydjs. With some very special guests and one of my all times faves Erol Alkan Thank you all and to Printworks London fir hosting.

Quoted by our crew as one of our best nights in years. Had the best time from start to finish. Danced, sang had loads of silly chat with some brilliant people. Made new friends and bumped into old friends.

Who says you need booze to have fun. Living life to the max booze free and got tons of energy 💛

Relationshionships are formed on the dance floor, whether it's briefly or long term and you CAN still connect when not drinking alcohol.

Everyone knows my phone is away on a night out, these pics are captured by our lovely Fiona Cowan.

What do you do without alcohol that makes you happy?

08/02/2023

This morning was moody and grey with hardly any visibility. Or some might say it was mystical...But within minutes the mist cleared and the sun was shining.

Everything in this world is temporary and your present is not your final destination.

Relationships are dynamic. This includes people around us, ourselves and objects and the things we engage in and surround ourselves with.

What's a destination you're driving towards?

06/02/2023

Stop, breathe and listen. When so much is going on around us. Let's take this moment to breathe, curl our mouths up slightly and smile.

Happy Monday xx

02/02/2023

Adios Dry January and hello Fabulous February…I'm sorry this one is late. I had my head in planning and delivering collaboration working sessions, plus being a participant this week and needed to carve out a little time for me so this post had to give…

Do you ever find yourself asking yourself now what? When you have a revelation. I know I do. Sometimes I do something about it and sometimes it goes into the back of my mind and it might then get recalled at a later date.

So, now what Fabulous February? What might be a next step for you?

Here's three questions to explore from your Dry January experience:

🌹What will you keep on doing?
🌵What will you stop doing?
🌱What will you start doing?

Vice Magazine wrote this article (see👇), last year on "How Alcohol Lost Its Cool". They said it been "losing its cred in the pop culture for a while now". Now that is very different from when I was in my 20s. We are seeing significant rises in young people not drinking. Trends are moving us in the direction of drinking less, mindful drinking and getting sober curious. There's massive growth in non-alcoholic drinks, new dry bars opening thanks to the likes of Club Soda and a soon to be pub being opened by Lucky Saint, which will have booze too! Restaurants and bars are getting better at being inclusive. Lyaness bar at Sea Containers House have a cocktail menu that has the non-alcoholic version on the same page as the alcoholic version so you can read the drinks menu with someone. Sometimes the small touches make you feel part of the occasion. Sadly there are wild extremes to this, such as being told by a vendor at the London Cocktail Week in Borough Market that I could go to the Bubble Tea shop if I wanted a non-alcoholic drink. After all these years it made me feel awkward. Imagine the impact if someone was new to it, it was during SoberOctober and they were taking part in that. People might go on to think it's easier to drink than not. Or it's too hard to not drink.

Whatever your journey this Dry January and into 2023. The support around alcohol use now goes beyond abstinence.

If you're curious about exploring a new relationship with alcohol or want to know more., drop me a message.

Enjoy your next step. Enjoy the process xx.

A third of pub visits are now alcohol-free, but drinking has been losing its cred in pop culture for a while now.

30/01/2023

, Day 30 AND it's my 5 year anniversary today that I decided to stop drinking and forged out a new relationship and path for myself. Plus one of my socials went semi viral last night so lots to celebrate!

No matter how many days in January you were dry, how will you celebrate the end of Dry January and all that you have achieved?

I've never been one to count the number of years, months, weeks or days and historically I've had to think quite hard about it when someone asks me how long it's been. As I've been talking about it incessantly it's not fixed in my mind. I made a decision to not count as it was more about looking ahead. I cannot believe it's been five years and as they say, time flies when you're having fun!

As a result I feel

🌊more freedom and liberated - I don't have to plan anything. I arrive to an event when I want and I leave when I want

🌊more happier and proud of myself - genuinely, whenever I think about how I don't drink it makes me smile from the inside.

🌊more myself - yes, it's odd at first as for some of us we are breaking decades of habit. But I am not masking myself with alcohol.

🌊more mentally and physically fit - I'm no longer plagued by anxiety and pushing the feelings away by being avoidant.

What I know is there is great stigma around talking about alcohol and that many people fear asking me why I stopped drinking. This fear can come from societally and culturally for people to think that someone doesn't drink because they are an alcoholic and I'll define that as alcohol dependent or for religious reasons. There are many grey areas in the middle for people's choices.

👉I'm curious, what are your thoughts on the stigma related to alcohol use and why we don't talk about it?

I feel we are very slowly becoming more inclusive of those who don't drink, but we are a long way from where we need to be. I also feel strongly that those who choose to drink should not be shamed. Relationships, whether it's family, friends, social and work networks are incredibly important and when we drink or change how we use alcohol that hugely impacts these relationships.

How might we increase alcohol awareness and inclusivity for those who don't drink? Have you noticed more people around you becoming sober curious or being alcohol free?

If any of this resonates with you or you're a little curious and want to chat, get in touch.

Enjoy celebrating and being proud. Enjoy the process xx

29/01/2023

Dry January day 29 do you know what motivates you into change? Here's 4 drivers to change:

John Maxwell, author and leadership coach relates 4 reasons why people change to our 4 seasons and says people change

🌱When they hurt enough that they have to
🌱When they see enough that they are inspired to
🌱When they learn enough that they want to
🌱When they receive enough that they are able to

Applying this to my journey with alcohol, over a period of time I probably went through all four!

✳️I didn't want to continue impacting my mental and physical health that I felt I was negatively being mpacted with alcohol.

✳️I saw, as soon as I made my decision to stop drinking through crazy serendipitous moments people that had gone before me and heard their journey.

✳️I learnt in previous dry challenges that I could live MY LIFE how I wanted alcohol free and also the benefits I experienced of not drinking far outweighed my perceived benefits of drinking.

✳️I received support and encouragement from people around me when expressed my decision and what I needed.

The first point relating to hurt and my mental and physical wellbeing is what got me over the edge to make the decision. But the others played a big part in solidifying my decision. I was focused and had a strong belief in myself and I did thing through researching and applying how I could support myself through this change. People who know me well, know that asking for help is a massive stretch for me and it's something I am working on. So reflecting on how much I went it alone is no surprise, but what I knew I had to ask to those around me is to not change how they are with me. For me to even voice that, was big, but I knew there was no other way.

It's Sunday, which means reflections day and a chance to check in with yourself on how you are and focus on the positives by writing 3 things you appreciate about yourself and the 3 things your grateful for. Don't forget to include what impact this had.

Drop in the comments what has been your most valuable learning? 👇 Drop in the comments or DM me.

Enjoy your exploration. Enjoy the process xx.

28/01/2023

, Day 28 as we are approaching the end. I'm curious as to many of you might decide to carry on? Some people are choosing to continue into February and even March and there are some have chosen to stop already.

I've written before that relationships, whether it's with alcohol, food, sugar and lets not forget people, are dynamic. It's impacted by many factors and some of those are deep within our sub conscious and sometimes our internal critic has a lot to say about that. But relationships are also impacted by judgements, assumptions, perceptions not only of ourselves, but culturally societally and even by our nearest and dearest.

If you did decide to carry on not drinking but then have a time that you do drink again, you can decide the very next day to get curious again and decide what you want. It doesn't mean you need to go back to your old habits.

My intention with my posts was to motivate, inspire and to be a daily partner to anyone who might be lonely on their journey. Sharing some of my personal story and experience doesn't come easy, but I hope has helped. Along with tips and tricks for living with more awareness, vibrancy and positivity, whether you choose to have alcohol or anything else that might be getting in the way of you being your best self.

No matter what others choose for their journey, your journey is your choice. Maybe you've not been doing Dry January, or maybe you fancy doing a sober-curious Saturday one weekend.

If you're in space where you want to unleash your potential and curious about any of the programs I run. Drop me a message and we can set up a call or I can answer any questions you might have.

You don't need to struggle alone, there's a wonderful community out here and every day is a new opportunity.

Enjoy staying curious. Enjoy the process xx.

26/01/2023

Day 26. Sober Dating aka Dry Dating! Probably not something you'd expect to hear on LinkedIn. Dating includes people in long term relationships and marriages as well as first dates!

Did you know 👇

64% of people believe they form deeper and more genuine connection when they go on a date without alcohol (survey by dating app Bumble)

75% say they prefer to go on a sober date (survey by dating app Hinge)



At the beginning of my alcohol-free journey, I didn't tell people I dated I didn't drink. I felt because it didn't dramatically change my personality. But if I'm honest, it's because I didn't want to be judged, the way I'd judged.

Lets not shy away from the fact that when we implement change, it does impact relationships. Particularly if alcohol plays a big part.

Advice out there says to tell people you're not drinking/don't drink beforehand. I'd add to this, to feel it out and get intentional. For me I work out when might be the right moment. I've said before, finding your narrative and confidence takes practice and tweaking. Acknowledge feelings that come up and normalise these. Your confidence may be high then dip. You'll know when you've got it, as you'll feel it. Finding your narratives and understanding the relationship impact is where a coach can add value. There are some incredible techniques to explore this.

It took me 8 months after stopping drinking to find my confident voice!

Telling people you don't drink is a great way, to whittle out people early in the dating process who possibly aren't right for you. I once spoke with someone who put on their dating profile that they rarely drank. It turned out they drank whenever they journaled around 3 or 4 times per week.

Myth buster, if you decide to not drink, long term or short term. This doesn't mean you can only date people who don't drink too.



Why dry date

✳️You can be authentic

✳️You're not clouded by alcohol and can feel out whether or not there is a genuine connection

✳️It may mitigate the risk of saying or doing something you might regret in the morning

✳️An opportunity to do an activity. Or seek out places with good non-alcoholic options. Did you see that Lucky Saint are taking over a pub in Marylebone?

People get nervous before dates whether they're drinking alcohol or not. A way to relax beforehand might be meeting or speaking to a friend or having plenty of time to arrive so you're not rushing.

If you decide to go alcohol-free for a long or short period, dating or your relationship doesn’t need to dictate whether or not you drink!

Enjoy Dry Dating, in your relationship or your first date. Enjoy the process xx.

Photo by Julian Myles on Unsplash