Anna Lewandowska-Bernat - Psychotherapy & Coaching

15/12/2025

In an 85%* of sexual assault cases, the victim knows the perpetrator —
a parent, sibling, partner, colleague, or family friend.

Media often focuses on the “stranger in the dark” narrative,
but that represents only 15% of assaults.

This is terrifying in its own way:
we fear the streets, yet for many victims, home is where the violence happens.

And yet many crimes are often not reported, because reporting a stranger is easier than reporting a parent, partner, or friend.
Awareness is the first step toward change.

*https://www.ons.gov.uk/

14/12/2025

The constant need for understanding and analysing is a coping mechanism, and it’s called rationalisation.
Rationalisation can look like problem-solving.
It can feel like we’re trying to “do better.”

But often, it’s a way to avoid the emotions we don’t want to feel.
Emotions can be overwhelming, unpredictable, and not rational at all —
So, we fall back on logic. It’s a shield to avoid discomfort.

Understanding this pattern is the first step to breaking it.

But here’s the question:
What would happen if we faced those emotions instead of running from them?
What would happen if we stopped rationalising, and started feeling?

11/12/2025

There are no “good” or “bad” decisions.
There are only decisions and consequences, both positive and negative.

No amount of analysing can give us full certainty; there’s too much information in the world.
Short-term consequences are predictable, but long-term ones almost never are.

That’s why decision-making often comes down to trust:
I trust myself to handle whatever comes next.

10/12/2025

Addiction is a loss of control.

That’s why asking, begging, or threatening won’t help. Even if someone wants to change, they often don’t have the ability to control their actions or the skills to find healthier ways to cope.

Supporting a loved one with addiction means learning to separate the person from their behavior. Addiction often comes with deep shame tied to their actions, and that shame can pull them right back into old patterns. We can’t accept the addiction, but we can accept the person.

Accepting the person doesn’t mean accepting the behavior.

It also means setting healthy boundaries, even when it hurts.

Recovery is a long, sometimes difficult process, full of both wins and setbacks.

People aren’t addicted because they want to be.
They’re addicted because they haven’t yet learned healthier ways to cope with pain and stress.

07/12/2025

Harvard Study on Happiness

For over 80 years, Dr. Robert Waldinger and his team have tracked the lives of individuals in one of the longest-running studies on happiness. And guess what they found? The key to happiness is relationships.
But here’s the challenge: In today’s world, we’re often more focused on our own needs and desires. We tend to see relationships as transactions—asking ourselves, “What can others give me?” or “What do I stand to lose?”

As a result, many of us shy away from real connections. We’re more likely to stay isolated or retreat into virtual spaces to avoid the discomfort that sometimes comes with relationships. But here's the truth: real relationships—the ones that bring us joy and challenge us—are what make life truly meaningful.
Relationships aren’t about just gains and losses—they’re about connection, growth, and shared experiences.

Let’s rethink how we approach our connections. True happiness lies in the bonds we build.

06/12/2025

New Article on Counselling Directories
Feeling Stressed or Struggling This Christmas?
The holiday season can be tough for many. In my latest article I give some practical tips to help you navigate the challenges and make the holidays easier.

📝 Read it now:
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/articles/navigating-the-holidays-when-christmas-feels-hard

05/12/2025

✨ Did you know? ✨

Women with polycystic o***y syndrome (PCOS) are more likely to experience mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

This is a perfect example of how our mind and body are deeply interconnected. Hormones, emotions, and behaviours are constantly influencing each other, creating complex patterns in our health.

What came first—hormonal imbalances or mental health issues? It’s hard to say, but what we know for sure is that physical and mental health are intertwined. Healing needs to happen in both directions—addressing mind and body together for true wellness.

The more we understand this connection, the better we can support holistic health.

04/12/2025

Your Mindset is Secretly Running Your Life

Ever notice how two people can face the exact same challenge… and one feels excited while the other feels stuck? It’s not luck. It’s mindset.

Mindset isn’t just “thinking positive.” It’s the lens through which we see the world. The tiny, often invisible beliefs in your head decide:

What risks feel scary or worth taking

Which opportunities you even notice

How you interpret setbacks and failures

Most of the time, it works quietly in the background—sometimes helping, sometimes holding you back without you even realizing it.

Here’s the deeper truth: changing mindset is more than noticing patterns. Real, lasting change comes when you go to the roots—understanding where and why these beliefs were formed, and integrating your body and emotions into the process. That’s when your mindset stops being a silent autopilot and starts becoming a conscious choice.

03/12/2025

02/12/2025

“I want this… but I don’t know how to get there.”
I hear this sentence so often — in both therapy and coaching.

And the truth is: no one knows in the beginning.

We like to believe that the path must be clear before we take the first step. That we need the full plan, every milestone, every answer.

But that’s not how inner work happens.
As Rumi wrote: “As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.”

In psychotherapy and coaching it’s exactly the same.
You don’t need to know the whole road.
You don’t need to see the final destination.
You don’t need to have every step figured out.

Clarity comes FROM moving, not before it.
The next step reveals itself once you take the first.

What you do need is:
✨ a bit of courage,
✨ a bit of trust — in yourself, and in the process,
✨ and the willingness to begin, even if the path feels blurry.

If you’re standing at the edge of something new, unsure where to start -
start small.
Start where you are.
The road will meet you.

30/10/2025

“You can’t feel safe or reclaim pleasure only through your mind. They are sensational experiences — and by sensational, I mean sensory experiences. They are physically sensed and emotionally perceived.” ✨
— Holly Richmond, Reclaiming Pleasure

This is why simply understanding your past is often not enough. Even if you feel like you’ve “moved forward,” there can still be a part of you that never truly feels safe, good enough, or satisfied. Nothing seems to bring lasting happiness or pleasure.

This is a signal. It’s a sign that your body is cut off from what you truly know — from the sensations, emotions, and pleasures that are meant to be felt fully. Healing isn’t just mental; it’s physical, emotional, and deeply embodied.

Reconnecting with your body, your sensations, and your emotions is where true safety, joy, and pleasure begin.