The Healing Space

22/03/2026

School refusal can feel incredibly stressful for parents.

It often happens in the busiest moment of the morning, when everyone is under pressure and emotions are already high.

But refusal rarely appears out of nowhere.
It usually signals something underneath that feels overwhelming.

When children feel understood rather than forced, they’re far more likely to share what’s actually going on.

Understanding the reason behind the behaviour is the first step toward solving it.

21/03/2026

When children open up about something difficult, the instinct is often to fix, correct, or reassure.

But psychological safety comes first.

Feeling understood lowers defensiveness and allows children to keep talking.

Connection first.

Advice second.

20/03/2026

ADHD in therapy rarely looks like someone “not trying.”

It looks like:
• Executive load overload.
• Working memory collapse.
• Emotional intensity without brakes.
• Task initiation fatigue.
• Fast shame cycles.

If we misread capacity as motivation, we increase pressure.

If we understand capacity, we adjust structure.

And structure changes outcomes.

19/03/2026

Sandtray often reveals things that might never emerge through conversation alone.
Symbols appear.
Scenes unfold.
Relationships become visible.

For many children, this symbolic language allows experiences to surface gently and safely.

And sometimes those small scenes hold very big stories.

19/03/2026

18/03/2026

Teenagers don’t stop needing their parents.

They stop feeling safe being open.

Privacy is often misunderstood as secrecy.

But psychologically, privacy is where identity develops.

It’s where teenagers think, process and experiment with who they are without feeling watched or judged.

When that space disappears, so does openness.

And what often replaces it isn’t honesty
it’s distance.

If you’re noticing your teen sharing less, it doesn’t always mean they’re pulling away from you.

Sometimes it means they’re trying to protect a part of themselves that doesn’t feel safe yet.

A few gentle ways to support this:
• Let them know you’re available without pushing for information
• Focus on connection outside of “serious conversations”
• Respect small boundaries to build bigger trust over time
• Stay curious rather than assuming or confronting

Sometimes the strongest parenting move isn’t more control.

It’s creating a relationship where your child chooses to come back and talk.

If this resonates, my blog “Teenagers: Feeling Unheard and the Need for Respect” explores why teens withdraw and how to rebuild connection.

You might also find the Safe Conversations Checklist helpful for navigating these moments.
Available via my website.

17/03/2026

The recent Louis Theroux documentary has brought the “manosphere” into public conversation.

But many boys have been navigating these ideas about masculinity, girls and relationships long before parents realised it was happening.

Online influencers are increasingly shaping how boys understand:
• masculinity
• dating
• rejection
• power
• relationships

Some of those messages can be confusing, misleading or harmful.

So over the next few posts I’ll be exploring:
• why these ideas appeal to boys
• how algorithms pull them in
• what boys are actually being told about girls
• how parents can keep conversations open

This isn’t about blaming boys.
It’s about understanding the world they’re growing up in.

If you're raising boys or supporting teenagers, follow along with the series.

You can also explore my Support Hub for blogs and resources on teen relationships, emotional development and online influence.

And if you’d like deeper conversations like this delivered weekly, you can join my newsletter where I expand on topics parents are asking about most.

Save this post so you can come back to the series.

16/03/2026

Masking is rarely random.

It is learned.

Sometimes in classrooms where difference was highlighted.
Sometimes in homes where emotions were unpredictable.
Sometimes in relationships where being fully yourself felt risky.

Masking can look impressive.
High grades.
Competence.
Being calm in conflict.
Being the “strong one.”

But underneath that strength can be constant scanning.

Am I too much?
Did that sound wrong?
Are they upset with me?

Masking often protects attachment.

If being authentic once led to rejection, criticism, or unpredictability, your nervous system adapts.

The work is not about tearing the mask off overnight.
It is about gently increasing safety until authenticity does not feel dangerous.

That is slower.
But it is deeper.

15/03/2026

Belonging is survival.

If a child has to choose between
“I am wrong”
or
“You are unsafe”
they will almost always choose
“I am wrong.”

Because self-blame protects connection.

That is how shame begins.

If this stirred something,
my blog “Understanding Disorganised Attachment”
offers a gentle place to explore how fear and connection can become tangled.

You might also find the
Visualising Boundaries Worksheet helpful for strengthening secure patterns.

Available via my website.

14/03/2026

Teens resist when autonomy feels threatened.

Control activates defence.
Collaboration reduces it.
Boundaries still matter.

But how they are communicated determines whether they escalate or stabilise.

13/03/2026

We talk about stress like a fleeting state,
but exhaustion is lived in the nervous system.

It doesn’t go away with rest alone.

It softens with safety.
Lowering threat.
Rebuilding capacity.

Regulating first, then reasoning.

That’s how bodies recover.

13/03/2026

I’ve just launched the first training in my ADHD Therapy CPD Series for counsellors and psychotherapists.

Over the years, working with children and teenagers with ADHD, I kept noticing something. There is a lot of information about diagnosis and symptoms, but far less about what ADHD actually looks like in the therapy room and how we adapt our work in response.

Many of the things we see in sessions can easily be misunderstood. What looks like avoidance, lack of motivation, or disengagement is often cognitive overload, executive functioning struggles, masking, or shame from years of feeling misunderstood.
So I created a training that focuses on the in-room perspective.

This first course explores how ADHD presents during therapy sessions and how we can adapt pacing, expectations, and structure so therapy becomes more accessible and supportive for neurodivergent clients.

This course stands alone, but it’s also the first in a three-part ADHD Therapy CPD series. The next two trainings will focus on creative approaches and relational work with ADHD in therapy.

You can find out more here:
https://thehealingspacetherapy.co.uk/courses⁠

Psychotherapists ChildTherapy TeenTherapy TherapistTraining MentalHealthProfessionals